Hoot owl hollow. A days poem in creek county.

in poetry •  8 years ago 

Hoot owl hollow( original poem by kspeaks) Who came to my hollow? Who? Came to see what man gulped up, greedily with one swallow? Did they not tell you not to be among them, not to follow? You shouldn't be here among the destruction. You see my nature is still under construction. My truth and beauty you must seek like an unknown instruction. You came on you own, you say? Please, please just wait still and obey... and pray, you can do that too, pray. You must go, leave behind the burnt trees. Your soul it flees. You see? With his eyes the owl, he haunts you. He sees beyond the hunted hollow. Follow, I must say. You will? Your will? It will come undone, upon the sky so blue. Fly like fowl. The fowl watch their trees destroyed and the workers replace the barren land with oil rigs. The rigs become the nest. The fruit of the land like figs, these nest lay beautiful among the ashed soil. Turmoil. Turmoil among the glorious soul. Flourishes, a new beauty. Flourish, scrubbish... the beauty is not power. Not this hour, my dear. But fear the hollow owl, he is too near to you, my sweet dear. Dear, deer. They used to reside here. They flee, to be free. Me dearest friend, you and I, us two? Surely, we must want to be free? So, it seems to be. We shall reside here among the white trees, burnt underbrush, and oil filled creek. A creak.... the limb, my dear, did you here it creak? The owl let out a screech. Those two are within my reach. Treacherous, treacherous, trespassing among my tress, among my tress of treasure. Revenge on them, I will take great pleasure. Pleasure, is not here among my hollowed out chest. For interrupting my rest... yes, that's the justification I'll use for my ramifications. Rest, rest my dear. The owl took quite a toll on your soul. His soil, your soul, oh the turmoil. Oil. Loyal. No, quiet down and dream. A fig, a figment of your imagination. Dream of unification. Yes, unicorns used to prance here. There, over there. Say, can you hear? Their hooves dance, above the hollow. The owl screech, the unicorn ceremony, the deer run, the trees grow, the grass greens, the oil flows, the creek clears, the waste evaporates as does the blue sky. Night falls. My, my she is mine yet she remains asleep.

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I like it. Feed back if I may? Try adding a photo (I like deviant art ones as it exposes another artist, always credited of course) and breaking it up into paragraphs.

The photo because most posts without photos are ignored in steem unfortunatly.
The paragraphs because this makes it a little easier to read and digest.

other than that: Great work. I'll be following to see more interesting stuff from you, keep it up.

  ·  8 years ago (edited)

dude you should read my comments :D but yes formatting matters , still content is more important than form , one just complements the other, still good formatting helps and pictures draw people in thats true, also it's a nice place to rest after a read :D on some beautiful scenery

I will add a photo with my next post. I was too sad to take a photo of the land I visited yesterday. It's an actual place that's suppose to be beautiful and for hiking like a park but has been destructed by humans. Very sad to view.

And the formatting. I tried my best to make the line breaks right. I use my iPhone for everything because I don't have a computer.

Thank you for the shared poetry, I couldn't find the author, but it's a great piece , some imagery would do it justice, maybe for the end , you can use steemimg if you need image hosting and don't want to type in the markdown codes.

I wrote it. Kspeaks is my name. I tried really hard to get the line breaks right but it's hard when you only have the mobile app to use to post and update. I even tried to edit from my notes on my iPhone then copy and pasting it to the uploading thing on steem. The line breaks make it a lot better or more concise but it just wasn't cooperating today!

haha :) yeah I don't know how you people use phones, I can't get off my PC :D , nothing beats a mouse and a keyboard, sure we can argue the mouse but a keyboard is a must if I'm to type anything digitally , it's a part of my hands so far :D I can't deal with touch keyboards , nothing is in place , an I don't like the one finger typing approach , anyway sorry to rant about phones :D


:D
There is much to learn on making a good format for a post, I have to say the line separators are a first step and not a good one I for one don't like the way they just cut off , I use them because of a lack of separation , but it's stopping my flow when i read , sometimes at least, I have to say the format shouldn't matter, but I've seen some great graphic works so it's not as easy, sometimes it just draws you in and keeps you interested when you wander off.

Anyway you can probably edit your posts if you want that , GREAT write , sounds spoken word poetically

I will edit at some point in time. I enjoy you, j3dy!