Solarium (free verse) - Steemit School Poetry 100 Day Challenge - Day 82, Poem 73

in poetry •  7 years ago  (edited)

Hi!

I’m back on Day 82 for my 73rd Entry to the Steemit School Poetry 100-Day Challenge by @d-pend.

I'll be glad should you be able to read and comment.

Best of lucks to all contestants.

͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒ ͒

Solarium

Vacillation.
Dim shades of sad gray and coy light blue.
Criticism.
Nimbuses threatening this blissful, rousing iridescence
you’re inanely fond of.


Suspicion.
Seems like we’ll have an early rain.
Corroboration.
Right there, dewdrops flirt
with the young sunbeams;
an upshot of color hits the atmosphere.

That’s what I see from my bed,
for I sleep in a solarium, and
my walls, your walls, nothing hide from scrutiny.


A Personal Comment:

Simple daily events tell us the truth about our way to approach situations in life. What we see is pretty much what we think we see.

Thanks for reading.

See you tomorrow with another poem.

Category III

Here, the link to Steemit School Discord.


  • I've modified the images using imgur.com. You can check the original pics by clicking on the hyperlinked names of their authors below each one.

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Hi, quiet good! I have texted you but I haven't received any answer. How can I get to you? ;)

Thank you, @marvic1194
Sms? (I'll have my sms back any time soon). Text me over Whatsapp

Or Discord

I don't have smartphone. Give me your tag on Discord, please.

I like to read poetry first to find the message for me, interpreted through my own experiences and mindset. But then I read to possibly get a glimpse into the world of the poet, to find their intention and message to the world.

That’s not always easy and it takes time. That’s one of the reasons I enjoy this challenge. It gives us the opportunity to read multiple poems from the same artist and get to know them better. I appreciate the fact that you always add a comment or two after your poems to kind of highlight your intentions.

I really like the structure and flow of this poem. All the words set apart by having their own line and paired in separate stanzas (Vacillation, Criticism/Suspicion, Corroboration) have a natural progression from doubt to surety.

The imagery of gray skies, clouds, and rain have a negative implication. But the imagery of iridescence rising, fondness, and bursts of color imply something positive.

This duality helps us understand that the progression from doubt to surety can be positive as well. It’s like you pointed out in your comments - you see what you think you see.

The last stanza demonstrates the power of attitude. When we face the world with confidence and a knack for finding the good in everything there is no reason to hide.

I have just one grammar note. The phrase “nothing hide from scrutiny” should read “hides” or maybe “hid”.

Thank you for sharing this poem and insights. The message is powerful and healing and just what I need to hear right now.

I've enjoyed your comment. Thank you so much for choosing "Solarium," @firststeps

Your interpretation makes me more than happy, and I think what you say about analyzing poetry and the opportunities provided by this challenge are 100% true.

About my including a personal comment, it wasn't my idea. I think it's been suggested it for all of us by @d-pend (I'll check).

Finally, it's hard to provide quality feedback when there are so many poems everyday, but it's gratifying.

I really like your work, by the way ♥


About your grammar note, it's funny that as soon as I posted this piece, I saw that error and was about to change it, but then I reread and realized the subject of that verb (hide) is third person plural "my walls, your walls"; "nothing" is actually direct object instead of grammatical subject (if I unscramble the hyperbaton, what I get is this: "...and my walls, your walls, hide nothing from scrutiny.")