The Steemit Conspiracy - A doubled limerick (Original Poem)

serejandmyself (70) in poetry • 8 years ago

A minnow that came upon steem

met dolphins who were full of esteem.

They met late at night

but started to fight,

So the whales started to scream.

The minnows started to strike

the whales called up a pike.

But the end was extreme,

they changed the regime!

Now all dollars get trapped in a fyke.

poetry steemit humour

8 years ago by serejandmyself (70)

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paco (63) · 8 years ago

Very creative :)

serejandmyself (70) · 8 years ago

Cheers Paco!

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papa-pepper (80) · 8 years ago

Excellent.
In my opinion, your best yet.

kalimor (51) · 8 years ago

Original and funny )

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adamgud (39) · 8 years ago

Without minnows strike - nothing would have changed. So arranged the world)

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serejandmyself (70) · 8 years ago

The minnows make the steem go round )))

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sonyanka (59) · 8 years ago

That steemit-fish is lazy
That is not a little bit crazy
To make come true its big dreaming -
To become a whale of steemit:)

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serejandmyself (70) · 8 years ago

Haha nice one!

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hyiparena (56) · 8 years ago (edited)

Now all dollars get trapped in a fyke chief fisherman. ))

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serejandmyself (70) · 8 years ago

Catch them all

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cathi-xx (65) · 8 years ago

It's amusing but not strictly a limerick. The syllables in each line should be 8 8 5 5 8. A little more effort and it would have been perfect. I know that I'm being a pedant here but limericks lose a little humour when they don't flow properly.

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cathi-xx (65) · 8 years ago

"Met dolphins all full of esteem"
"So the whales all started to scream"
"The minnows then started to strike"
"And then the whales called up a pike"
"The end was extreme"
"Now dollars get trapped in a fyke"

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serejandmyself (70) · 8 years ago

Im sure the rule is 8-9 and 5 -6 but i might be wrong )))

http://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Limerick

The problemis in anapestic meter - thats the hardestr bit

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cathi-xx (65) · 8 years ago (edited)

In the wiki example, 8 8 5 6 8, the 6 was ok because whilst "dispose" is 2 syllables it is read quickly to keep the beat: "to dispose of the rat".
To make your second line sound right, I would have to read either "whowere" or "werefull", like they were one word and it's just not intuitive to do that, so the beat is lost.
Poetry should be musical but the sound is from the beat (and the syllables and vowels), so it is very important to get the beat right.

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nekromarinist (69) · 8 years ago

awesome poem @serejandmyself especially inspired by the last three lines :)))

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serejandmyself (70) · 8 years ago

)))

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coliraver (62) · 8 years ago

something special

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shvedas (36) · 8 years ago

Nice poem! :)

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happyphoenix (66) · 8 years ago

Nice poem :)

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allasyummyfood (73) · 8 years ago

Lol so funny :D

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allmonitors (74) · 8 years ago

lol, great piece

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