SPREAD MY WINGS

SPREAD MY WINGS ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ • • •
Absence makes the heart grow neglected. I refuse to beg you to care. I stare short tempered. Is this really how it is then? I'll get over it like I did with... so many people before you! Bastard. I feel a pang of death wash over me and close my eyes. There's no trouble at all in letting you leave when you've already left me behind. You flash near and then far like a comet. You only came to stop by. Knots in my stomach. How could the thought of somebody I loved once literally make me vomit? I hate changing my mind. You’ve done it this time. Street lamps turn on late thinking of the last decade picturing your face fade. I'll be okay, I say, and I wait for it. Waking up every day to erase the mistakes I've made yesterday and before that. In a fairy tale daze, where things turn out alright; we're sitting on top of a mountain looking up at outer space. We sigh. There's no dialogue to show the audience. It's all in our head. Forgiveness. How peaceful life could've been if things always worked out for us. If only our reality was different. It didn't and it isn't. Lord knows why. The plan fell through, the dog died, the movie came to an anticlimactic end before it got any good and I feel like I wasted my time sitting alone at the movie theaters but I refuse to believe any time was wasted you could say it's time, well... spent. I refuse to resent it. It made me. Right? It made us cry teardrops ripple ponds create a continuous forever infinity and beyond even after we both die. It can't be helped. We're in the rift between ridges. You're gone and everyone says it's better that way and I write this entry in hopes that somebody feels at least a little bit of peace from my agony but I hope they never have to feel this way because remembering and relating this much is too heavy and staying apathetic over it is exhausting since I don't have it in me anymore to keep caring and I don't get excited over new friends anymore and I'm too sensitive to I say I love you I would drop my whole world on the floor to catch you when I see you falling down to earth I run to save you I trip over the edge I SPREAD MY WINGS arms wide open I catch you at your shoulders your knees we glide the breeze my heart guides me to love you just as you are and together in the sky for a moment just a moment we are golden. I think I've seen the best of you but now I know the lies you cut my wings you ripped them apart you were jealous of the sky my bones you cracked I let you in you wreaked havoc in my heart for free you grab my neck devil horned smirk faced we flip upside down we continue falling into the clouds without any sound without any sound without any sound before my chest implodes the dust erupts my sense of self and sanity numb. Once you’ve got it in your clutch I wheeze I cough what do you think you’ll do with love?
• • • ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ ̶ YTINERES