If only

If only……..
Am stuck in the middle of the road,
Not knowing if I should off load,
for am getting weary of carrying my load,
but how will I be perceived by my Lord,
If I be the first will I look bold?,

I wonder how I will be perceived,
Or will he think his being deceived,
Maybe with my cry he will be convinced,
Or away he will shun and proceed,
If I run after him will I succeed?

He was always a source of inspiration,
With his wisdom I would conquer nations,
I always write with expectations,
he might be waiting to read with admiration,
or even offer clear suggestion,

But now I am left to reminisce,
All the memories that were bliss,
and always write but dismiss,
thinking if I reach I might piss,
If only he knew that is him miss,
image from google