April 1, 2015...This is a day in my poker career that I will never forget. It was on this day that I had only $1k left to my name, bankroll and liferoll combined. My psyche was at an all-time low and although I had been busto multiple times in the past, for the first time in my career I felt I had no other option but to walk away from poker indefinitely. Had I busted this money I would have been working long hours at a chinese restaurant making no more than $3k per month for quite some time, because it was by far the best option immediately available to me and I did not see anything better in my horizon anytime soon.
The most shocking part about all of this was that just a month ago in March I was up roughly $11k 10 days into the month but ended up losing around $3k to book my biggest losing month ever, making it the biggest downswing I had gone through by a longshot. Having to look at these results in my poker tracking app created so much negative energy going into a session that I had to purge everything, which I am guilty of doing multiple times in the past. I promised myself this was the last time.
Last year in August I was poised to make a deep run in the $350 6max which paid $22k for 1st. I ended up punting my stack near the bubble and was constantly frustrated with myself ever since because I only had myself to blame. Since April was off to a good start with $4k to my name I decided to drive up the morning of this same tournament after grinding cash games all night in Tampa to redeem myself. I obviously ran like Mustang Jangus and when we were down to HU/3-handed play I just wasn't offered a reasonable deal to agree to a chop. The rest is history.
It is not a coincidence that in April 2014 I booked my biggest month of all time, finishing +18.7k over 360hrs. April is one of the most profitable months of the year and I believe it has a lot to do with the tax returns flooding in. The games were absolutely incredible and I strongly regret not putting in even more hours than I did. $300 pre 5way flops and being able to get stacks in at $925 eff with bot set in a limped pot vs top pair is outright absurd, but it happened this month. In one of my sessions the Doc cashed out over $10k in a 2/5 game. Pure insanity.
I always imagined myself splurging just a little if I cashed for a 5k+ score but surprisingly I didn't splurge a single penny. I still struggle with baccarat but I have completely gotten strip clubbing out of my system. When you realize that strippers' shit stinks like anyone else it becomes easy to take pussy off the pedestal and focus on your goals. It is absolutely mind-blowing how much more productive a man is when they don't let their dick make the decisions.