Let's face it: It's hard to stay #positive all the time. And it's not natural. So stop worrying about getting rid of #negativity in your life. You CAN'T! Instead, try to change how you RESPOND to negativity. Don't REACT so much; RESPOND!
Dealing with Our Negative Feelings, Emotions and Judgments: How to do it Better!
7 years ago by denmarkguy (77)
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Yes, I have heard that one can save a lot of energy (which then can be put to better use in accomplishing one's aim) by simply NOT GIVING EXPRESSION TO NEGATIVE EMOTIONS (even though one is feeling them). Simply observe them, acknowledge them but don't express them.
Am I on the right track?
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True, just don´t react to negativity and try to not give as much attention to it.
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I’ve certainly experienced this! I think every once in a while they need to be released, but to reinforce them on a daily basis is totally detrimental. I’ve felt so much better since I decided to stop shot talking with a certain friend who is always complaining.
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Whether it's the "right" track or not, you're on a very similar track to how I look at it. My experience has been that whereas "negative" emotions are definitely real and authentic, they are often based on missing information and misinterpretation of something.
We reactively get angry at someone or something, but if we just take a moment to "sit with" that anger and observe the underlying "why," we often discover something about ourselves... and the person/thing who would have been the recipient of our anger is largely innocent. One of my spiritual teachers of long ago used to call it "reacting to a memory," (rather than the present moment).
I prefer not to give expression to a lot of negative stuff simply because... what does it resolve?
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I just try to ignore it the best I can these days and not get caught up in the cycle, knowing it will pass. Not always easy cuz when you're in it you 're in it and it all seems real. But I know without a doubt that it will pass so I hang onto that. 😊
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One of the things that has helped me a great deal is the insight that when we are "reactionary," a lot of times we are actually reacting to old memories, not to what's in front of us in the moment. We end up being furious at something... but it's actually related to some deceased aunt who said things a certain way, and the person we are speaking to is reminding us of that.
As you say, it will pass... and a moment of "wakefulness" will make us realize that we're not needing to get angry, at all.
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Very true! 😊
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These are gems. Question: why is it easier to REACT than to RESPOND?
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Reactions are sort of like a reflex; like when you put your hand on the stove and jerk away when it's hot. There are no "thoughts" involved. Quick and easy.
Responding requires thought. And that takes time and effort. Or what some call "consciousness." Getting back to the stove, it's actually only hot 10% of the time; the rest of the time it's harmless.
Emotions work in a similar way; our self-preservation instinct makes us react, but reacting only makes sense a very small part of the time. But responding is a learned thing for most people.
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REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy) is all about that - knowing your feelings about some events, understand the consequences of your instinctive feelings, and replacing your instinctive feelings with a more rational ones. Cheers! : )
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Ah yes, I remember some of that from years gone by. Most of my background is a mixture of psychology and years of studying various tenets of nonduality.
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Cuddles are good....
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Thank you for this little reminder @denmarkguy! :) It came at a perfect time! :D <3
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You're welcome! Sometimes we just need little reminders to "stay awake."
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The trick is not how to avoid negativity but its actually how to deal with it...
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Very true, and that starts with developing self-awareness, so you don't just react mindlessly as situations arise.
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there is ups and downs in life.
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That is a fact!
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you are absolutely right. we have some negativity in our life. it is nature. we can't change this. but if you keep pace with this situation you will be free mood. thank for sharing.
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Coping with negativity generally starts with simply being aware of our feelings.
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your thought really right.we have negative feeling of every thing.but all people keep mind fresh after coming positive feeling.this is a real truth in the world.i respect your thought.thank u very much for your good post sharing.. good job sir... @denmarkguy
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nice post @denmarkguy . i like your post. it's really important us. thanks for sharing post.
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This "flower" fits perfect to your topic. The seeds you will blow away, so that they could start over and one flower becomes many new flowers.
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You're so right! I always try not to react or respond but it just builds up. It's ok to be upset sometimes!
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Yes so true. I know I have practiced 'Mindfulness' over the years and have learned Cognitive Behavioral Theory from research. And one of the principles that has resonated with me in treating my Clinical OCD is similar to what you describe.
That is my Mind will wander off and give out a false alarm that something is wrong. There is no way to stop this from happening.It's just physical mechanisms and neuron firing in my brain.
But the only thing I can control is my response to it which involves doing an activity of sorts that I enjoy. And eventually through time the negative thoughts will subside.
But to try to "out think" the negative thoughts or "think it through" and forcefully get rid of the negativity will only make it that much worse !!
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Rejecting negativity brings about more negativity that is why we need to accept being negative for some time, bringing it to awareness and allowing it to be there. eventually negativity will lose its power and subsides.
Thanks @denmarkguy.
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Negativity can bring depression and depression is the leading cause of suicide worldwide. Learning how to deal with negativity therefore, is a life survival strategy.
Denmarkguy, 2018 😃
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I completely agree. Thanks for posting. So many people expecting me to drop the pessimist act I'm like am I really a pessimist though or Just an extreme realist?
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This is very beautiful flower
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Negativity is state of mind, don't get easily distracted. Our mind decides how to respond with every situation, be sure to feed mind with positives thing. Need practices to be perfect!
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The only way to change our circumstances is by taking action!
Of course, understanding ourselves first is important, but in the end, the only to accomplish and to change bad things is simply by acting.
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Yes, respond responsibility, with response-ability. Don't engage in knee-jerk reactionary responses, but process the info, the situation, and respond responsibly.
Negative is part of life. Face the negative, see it for what it is, and seek to change things into the future by not creating the negative if you are part of creating, supporting or participating in it. If others still do create negative, then you can choose to continue to engage with them, or not. The choice is ours.
That's not to say hearing things you don't want to hear, like truth, is a reason to ignore the negative people are bringing to light, as we need to face it when we are a part of it, and even when it's part of the society or world we are living in.
There are valid negatives we need to face (face the mirror if that's the case, even if the issue feels negative to us), and then there are times when people are just being negative douche-bags which we don't need to tolerate ;)
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A nice short post, with worthy advice. I like the image of the dandelion as well...a mighty and hardy herb. Regards @angryman Have a happy day.
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Negativity is part of life. How we handle it is up to us. Learn to find the source and fix it the best you can.
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