Strength is BUILT not BORN!

Do you ever go back through your blog, read the content you have written over time and somewhat re-live that part of your journey? I do. I think it is a great thing to have little reminders of perspective because sometimes we forget just how far we have come and where we had wanted to go, what we wanted to achieve or what we were experiencing emotionally at that particular time in our lives. In many respects our lives, to me – are like the ocean.

When you look at the waves on a surface level they seem relatively unchanged and a good portion of them look the same as the next – they are majestic to witness in motion and there is a great level of respect offered toward them - but with every sweep of a wave, what happens underneath the surface is the complete opposite to the repeated rolling curls. The swirls of the matter within and the detail of landscape after the wave has withdrawn, is completely unique each and every time that salty sea water retreats from the shore. Yes the waves are equally as unique – the only difference is that most people don’t see that.

I am grateful for life lessons, perspective and experience – no matter how any of them are delivered. This is the foundation upon which we build our characters. It does not always mean it is going to be easy but at the end of the day it is always worthwhile.

After taking a morning to lie in a little - post guests staying over, party craziness and other shenanigans, we got up, ran a few errands before we hit the road tomorrow and then I came to sit down to pour myself a very chilled glass of rosé (it is bliksem warm today) while reading some posts. Within the first few minutes, I was smacked in the face with two specific posts which really made my heart ache and I think what made the discovery even harder to read on both counts, was that they were published by two people who in my mind are incredible light workers.

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It always breaks my heart when I see this sort of thing because I know how that cookie crumbles and when you see a rock disintegrating, you know something is very wrong!

In a way, it was uncanny really, that I saw these posts today… if I consider what I wrote last night – which has a very key underlying link to what I am sitting here, writing now. I am a firm believer in the fact that things always unfold precisely the way they should, whether we understand it or not at the time - and landing on those two posts today – one after the other made me realise that perhaps there was a need for a louder voice of positivity… not just around here and not just from me – but everywhere and from everyone with the strength at the time to do so!

If there is one pivotal lesson I have learnt in my life so far, it is that strong people don’t appear out of nowhere, they are not dropped by some random stork nor were they teleported to earth - NO, strong people are chiselled through their hardships, struggles and pain. They have found manners and ways in which to process the hard blows that life throws them - and have in turn crafted those wounds into great armour which allows them to impart that reassurance, guidance, love and encouragement onto others.

What most people seem to forget though is the fact that they too are wounded just like everyone else.

“I am the bended, but not broken. I am the power of the thunderstorm. I am the beauty in the beast. I am the strength in weakness. I am the confidence in the midst of doubt. I am Her!”
― Kierra C.T. Banks

Despite popular belief, strong people have weak moments too and (here's the shocker) they also need reassurance from time to time. Yes, it would probably end up looking a lot more like a Karate grappling episode due to resistance - but that does not mean that the affection of the hug, kind words or other uplifting gesture is not needed or appreciated. In fact... strong people, probably need it more than most because they are often so busy dealing with other peoples hardships and burdens that they forget to look after themselves at the same time.

People who have an innate strength of character generally spend most of their time being either A) Super Productive, B) assisting others with their issues, or C) both of the above... in my opinion it is normally C.

They seldom speak to people about what is troubling them or what stresses they are currently dealing with, and the sad and very real truth, is that few (if any) people, will bother to inquire - because... well... people are self-absorbed. True bloody story! Strong people are there for a reason - to help others. To carry the burdens that others cannot bear to handle... "Light workers" are always greatly appreciated and frequently sought out for problem solving, but seldom offered the same "relief" in return.

This... eventually becomes a problem... because EVERYBODY has a cracking point! And for a person who has absorbed and absorbed and ABSORBED so such a long, LOOOOONG time - the cracking point is generally not very pretty... and this is the part that really breaks my heart when I see it unfolding.

“To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.”
― Criss Jami

Many years ago, I attended a six month psychic development course. The lady which ran the courses ended up being a good friend of mine but at the time she did not know me from a bar of soap. We had an introductory meeting so she could get to know me a little before I started the course. We sat at her dining room table and began to chat. The one vivid memory I have of this encounter was her bursting into tears as she sat with all my silver rings in her hands. This was a very unsettling moment and I recall asking her ”what was wrong” with the response from her being You are carrying the weight of people’s problems that you have yet to meet.” This was probably one of the most critical statements ever delivered to me – because (short of detail), I knew in that instant how accurate it was.

Simply having the memory of that meeting has afforded me inner strength when I needed it most over the years. We ALL need something to remind us every now and again of our purpose here, just as much as we need the love and support from those around us.

So, with that all said – here is my attempt at a silver lining for any and all that read this and may be in need of it…

“Each of the scars, the chipped teeth and broken claws, the mutilated tail—­they ­weren’t the markings of a victim. Oh, no. They ­were the trophies of a survivor. Abraxos was a warrior who’d had all the odds stacked against him and survived. Learned from it. Triumphed.”
― Sarah J. Maas

When you are faced with a problem, conflict or challenge – whether it be a work related situation, a personal and/or emotional one - a difference of opinion or a seemingly impossible task… it can often be tempting to simply turn around and walk in the other direction, waving your white flag, emitting repeated “I cant’s” or forgetting that it ever happened in the first place and completely ignoring its existence, but the reality is that you stand to lose out on so much life experience by selectively and consciously CHOOSING not to face it head and/or find a resolution.

These situations and circumstances present themselves for multiple reasons and one of them (the one I prefer to focus on at any rate) is that there is always something to be learned from it all when everything is said and done – and there is most to be learnt when ultimately reaching a point positive closure.

If I look at my own life, I really do feel VERY blessed for developing this type of attitude and approach to things because it has become a habitual way of handling situations and it allows me to always see hope, to always see the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak and no matter how hard the process of getting from the one side to the other is, I have always walked away richer in the end… even if the riches ONLY consist of lessons themselves.

Sometimes it is not very easy to reach a point of resolution or to even fathom that it is going to be possible. Let’s say for example you are in a heated argument with another individual… tensions are running high. There is generally a multitude of emotions flying around the room and when filled with anger and/or hurt – finding a way to calm yourself to a point of understanding and accepting that the best end result of the situation will never arise from allowing those emotions and their outcomes to dominate the situation can seem near impossible… but it isn’t!

Perhaps you are busy with a work project that requires input on something you truly know nothing about, or perhaps the content matter really doesn’t interest you… frustration and procrastination can often become our best friends in scenarios like that, so it is important to learn to find a way of dealing with YOURSELF when you start to experience that. Perhaps you just need to walk away from the situation for a bit and focus on something else. Perhaps you can pick up the phone and speak to someone who might know more about it and can impart a bit of knowledge, ultimately offering you a bit of inspiration. Whatever the angle of tackling it, if you persist, the end result will always leave you feeling better than giving up on it completely and feeling like a complete failure.

Challenges of all kinds are designed to grow us as spiritual beings. They are our greatest teachers – I hope they become yours too!

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. - Harriet Beecher Stowe