Dispatch 004: Fatherhood

Fatherhood Journal
So a couple of months ago, during the first day of long-awaited holidays, we got the news! Even though we both wanted to be in this situation, shock we (I) got was massive. I felt walls closing on me. I felt every danger is heading my way rendering me the most vulnerable person ever. The second day was about acceptance and then third, about happiness. Joy. excitement. A few weeks, months went by and all those emotions circle around my head. I am trying to be ready. It is not easy at all. So much to learn, so many mistakes to avoid...
Lately, since the belly is clearly showing I have a new fixation. It is a fixation around the fact that the baby is here already, even thou (she) is not. She is not 'coming'. She is already here but still 'forming'. I never thought about it like that. I can almost touch her but I can't really...
Lastly, this is the time when the world exists before she is around (while she was on the way). It's like being and not being at the same time. That's about it. Just a simple idea but I really can't wrap my head around it.
I am trying to connect with parents, ideally, fathers who like to analyse this particular moment in time. Get in touch by commenting below or on twitter @conscious_monk
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