We all love a good book and TV series that show us how to handle our temper, but not at the expense of principles. I am talking about handling our temper so that we do not let it control us and so that we use our temper for good and not against us. Sometimes we have to figure out a way to give ourselves permission to be angry. We are often in a state of anger when we are in the most need of being enlightened and compassionate.
The first step is to recognize when you are on the verge of becoming angry and you can stop yourself from getting angry. Then you will be able to learn how to deal with your temper by not letting it control you. Once you have self-imposed some boundaries, you can begin to look at your temper as an opportunity rather than a threat to your health and well-being.
One reason that we get angry is because we don't understand our principle. So let's start with the principle of integrity. You are a person who lives by a set of principles. These principles include honesty, integrity, fairness, compassion, spirituality, empathy, kindness, purity, generosity, etc. And most people who live by these principles enjoy being honest, kind, compassionate, generous, etc.
There are some who believe that there is a right way and a wrong way to handle your temper. It is true that we can become emotionally upset, angry, and even violent if we are not careful, but only if we make sure that we are doing things properly. Our anger can cause us harm if we do not handle it the right way. So how do we go about handling our temper so that we are safe?
One way to approach this is to read what psychologists call "The Keys to Emotional and PersonalityHealth" by Daniel Goleman. It is not just a short book, but an entire book on the topic of how to handle your temper. It provides insight into understanding our own anger and how to deal with it. You can also purchase a copy of "The Keys to Emotional and Personality Health" for your children and yourself, but if you are able to, you should consider taking it with you everywhere you go.
Another way to handle your temper is to become sensitive to how much you are upset. Then you can avoid the trap of letting your anger take over your life. Often, a little understanding and sensitivity can make a huge difference in how you handle your temper.
You have to learn how to handle your temper is to realize that you are going through emotional arousal. When you are not used to experiencing an emotion, it may seem as though you can't handle it. But when you are sensitive to how your emotions are affecting you, it is easy to learn how to handle your temper. Just try taking a breath and letting your emotions flow without judgment. You will see that you can handle your temper.
Also, know that you are just like everyone else and you have experienced emotional arousal from all sorts of experiences throughout your life. Don't beat yourself up if you are having an emotional outburst right now, especially if it was triggered by a life situation that you had no control over. So allow yourself to get angry and learn how to handle your temper so that you can help others and yourself. Then you will find that your life will be easier and you will be happier.