Are You Secretly a Control Freak?

in psychology •  7 years ago  (edited)

A lot of people would deny that they are "control freaks " if you asked them. However, most people with severe or even mild to moderate anxiety are. For these types, there is a lot of ruminating over past &/or current &/or future issues.

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Perhaps an event or task you did in the past that you put a lot of time and effort into did not get the result or reaction from other people that you wanted. So now you "try harder ", put more onto your plate, so you can better control the outcome. If the outcome has to do with people, forget it! You can't control other people and that includes their attitude, timeliness, perceived level of appreciation, etc.

Anxious folks spend an exhorbitant amount of time catastrophizing as well. Now, while to a degree, realizing factors that could go wrong is good (so you can do some prep); that is a mere degree only.

If you find yourself constantly obsessing over things that you can not feasibly control or impact, it is simply best to let it go. You are wasting valuable time and energy which you can't get back.

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Instead, focus on what direct factors you can impact. Do those things and move on. Another thing people with high anxiety do (AKA control freaks) is taking on all the responsibility. The mindset being - "I can do this better and quicker myself...." While often time is off the essence, a lot of people do this. Your classic high anxiety/ controllers do it because they think it is the only way it will get done. This is something I have caught myself doing a lot and, I simply just have to keep working on not being like this.

Why? Behaving like this isn't healthy. As already pointed out, it robs you of your time and energy. It will only increase your stress levels and release of cortisol in the body. Cortisol is released during times of high stress. Taking on too much with the idea you can better control the outcome causes that stress to build and build. Can cause increased blood pressure and weight gain. You are only one person.

Recognize any of those traits in yourself? Do you feel too much of your time is being engulfed by worry?

Try replacing that time wasting negative energy into something good - walk your dog, work on a craft / hobby/artistic endeavour, take a relaxing bubble bath, etc.

Photo 1: Google search meme
Photo 2: zedge

source = me

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Perfect gif!!

Wow these are definitely traits I see in myself and even though I've known this for a while it's very hard to "let it go" and not waste energy on it but you're right, it's pointless.
Thanks for the great post, upvoted and following, looking forward to see more of your posts.

I wrote this one as much as for the hopeful benefit of my fellow Steemians as to reinforce this stuff to myself. It is so hard sometimes. You want to just take control over every step - you get it done faster, you know its done, etc. Read: control freak. Whereas, even if you were a hermit living off the land somewhere, you may not have to rely on people for things, but the land!! I try to calm my anxiety by just taking care of it all. Well, that's impossible sometimes. Gotta Just let it go! Patience and calm needed

Yes! nerd-2523216_1280.png
graphic courtesy of pixabay

Well at least you admit it lol

Good point, no body likes control freaks...it is very difficult to stay with such person