Standing Together or Alone

in psychology •  7 years ago 

Life can be hard and unfair. In some circumstances, we can get pushed around when we try to stand for something that others don't want to accept. Some people will do something more if you challenge them about how wrong they are to do it, and they can "bring the pain" to bear on you and your life for daring to speak up. It can be easier to do nothing. We can glide past the problem with minor negative effects if we just take it. Whereas standing up and speaking out can bring on more backlash from those who don't want to hear it, who want to keep doing what they are doing.


Source

But if we have support from others we can make a difference. When we stand united on principles for each other we can bring justice and change to a situation.

Have you ever had something happen where you needed support for being right? Maybe something happens in the family, maybe with friends, or at work. You are in the right. You know it. Others know it. But, others won't stand with you against an opposer or adversary that is standing against what is right, and you. Instead of standing together, people stand apart, and let the person taking a stand go at it alone.

Doesn't it suck when you don't get the support? What's going on? What's up with some people not caring about what is right? Maybe that person, who is wrong, has some level of authority in the group dynamic and others don't want to lose favor with them. Power can easily be abused and wielded against others who speak up against the one using it.

Maybe people don't want "drama" in their lives as long as it personally doesn't affect them. Maybe many people also pretend to care and support each other, so long as it suits them and their interests. They don't stand for principles and values based on what is right, good and true on an ongoing basis.

Conflict

As long as things are going fine, everyone is getting along, things are smooth, the boat isn't being rocked, then people unite or cooperate to get along according to what they do. But, when there is conflict, controversy or contradiction, many people are reluctant to get involved and stand on the side of what is right, good and true. They want to be "impartial" and avoid "taking sides". To "take sides" is to possibly have someone take offense, insult or feel judged, or to get involved and have negative effects applied to them.

People don't like getting involved in disputes and "taking sides" when they aren't the one who is having the issue themselves. Some people don't even get involved when they are the ones who have the issue, they just ignore what is happening to them in hopes that it will go away.

The perception some desire to have in the eyes of others motivates them to stay on the sidelines. Most of society prefers to get along under a veil of "unity" and illusion of "good" rather than honestly deal with reality as it currently is.

If they stand for what is right, good and true in support of one person's position, then they automatically stand against the other person's incorrect position, and take a side in support of an argument.

Identification

Because we humans get so identified and attached to ideas and beliefs that have us in their grasp, when someone stands against our ideas we can associate them being against us. They chose the other side, and not our side. They chose someone or something else, and not us.

Many people want to be liked more than they want to stand for what they understand. They avoid conflict, controversy and determining what is right, good and true in an argument. They don't share their evaluations of reality or others, because they fear how people will react to their criticism.

An evaluation, discernment, discrimination, assessment, judgment and evaluation can involve communicating something to someone else. We can communicate what is correct or incorrect, right or wrong, true or false, moral or immoral, about anything in reality that people do. We should not fear doing this for the sake of being "liked" and making "friends".

We identify strongly with those close to us. If someone we personally identify with needs support, we tend to blindly support them, whether they are right or wrong. Our trust, loyalty, faith and belief in others, can have us blindly defend their errors.

Unless the person who is right, or who is being wronged, is known to us and we have a personal connection with or identify with, many of us won't get involved to stand with them in support of what is right, good and true. When we have something to lose, whether favor with a colleague or boss at a job, family at home, friends, or society in general where we have a social standing and likability to lose, we tend to protect our image in the eyes of others.

Discomfort and Fear

Don't fear being alienated by others because you chose right over wrong, truth over falsity. Don't fear being alienated because you dare to stand up against someone's nonsense by correcting them, criticizing them, or showing how they are wrong.

Put truth first, not second. Stand for truth in life. Stop supporting falsity and letting falsity continue in our life because of fear of what happens when we speak out against falsity. It can be hard to do, and we need practice to steel ourselves from the backlash, but it can be done.

We all know how uncomfortable a conflict can be. If what is right and true didn't matter, a conflict wouldn't occur. Certainly if we get involved and go against someone who thinks they are "right" when they are wrong, things can get even more inconvenient and not "feel-good" to us.

After all, conflict is a negative feeling, and so many people are neglecting, ignoring or denying the negative in life, seeking to avoid it. Many of us are psychologically trapped in a "feel-good" pleasure trap that avoids dealing with the negative. We don't want to be involved in the eternal battle of truth and falsity. So long as it doesn't personally involve us or our life, then we just ignore it and brush it off.

Standing in truth can be uncomfortable. But it's the way to resolve any conflict. Ignoring problems around us because we don't like the drama and hassle doesn't help the one who is attached to falsity, or us in the end.

We can stand in truth, unite in truth, together. But we are often divided in falsity among each other. Many are also standing alone when there is a conflict, because others don’t care for truth to bother getting involved with the hassle and drama of a conflict. If we want others to stand with us in truth, we need to stand with them as well. Being silent to falsity is counter productive to all of our well-being.

And if no one will stand with you in truth, for what is right, good and true, then you just have to stand in the integrity of truth on your own. You will feel authentic, real, and genuine, for not compromising or sacrificing the truth. This is part of being a truer, higher, realer, more authentic, more genuine individual who embraces reality, existence and truth, and stands for it.

If you yourself, are not willing to stand in truth alone, then how can you expect others to stand with you? We each need to take the first step. To pop and break out of the level conformity with the group collective or authority figure, and stand out from the crowd. We often have to start standing alone before others join us. To prove that we have the care, courage and will-power to stand for higher values and principles in life, and are not being kept down by our apathy, cowardice or fear.

We need to stand in truth together. But, if others are not willing to integrate, unite, and harmonize on the commonality of reality, existence and truth, then we ourselves can at least be genuine, authentic, whole, integrated and united with truth by standing for it on our own.


Thank you for your time and attention. Peace.


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When we watch Discovery, National Geographic, Animal Planet etc channel and see documentaries on wildlife, what we observe? We should observe the behavior of vegetarian animals like deer, gazelles and mountain goat etc. What they do? They fight each other to win females and in this pursuit, they even kill their opponent. But when a hunter attacks them, they simply try to run away. They never unite to confront the hunters.
We human also exhibit the same behavior. In Indian subcontinent, I witnessed that when a powerful criminal tries to commit a crime openly, people simply watch him. They look the victim helplessly but don’t take any action. But when they find any weak and hungry person who tries to steal bread to satisfy his hunger, they don’t show any sympathy with him and turn into a mob which lynches that hapless person.
We don’t like a weak person to commit a crime but we revere a powerful criminal because we like someone who may keep us under his feet. We humans are terribly coward and show our slave mentality. This is the reason that we seldom unite against powerful oppressors.
We need to get rid of our slave mentality. We need to free from prejudices. Together we can done anything.

Great observations! Oh to this 3rd dimension reality.. 95% of our subconscious is ruling our 5% of conscious mind actions... this is a control matrix that we too have been conditioned to weather it is our environment or perhaps our DNA has been manipulated from the start (emerald tablets etc.) TIME TO ACTIVATE our consciousness and take our LOVE AND POWER BACK from the drone state!

@kimmysomelove42 Thank you for your excellent comment. I agree with what you said. Thank you again.

That's a powerful example. It's sad that the powerful are treated with praise while the poor are scorned. The rich powerful players on Steem also get similar treatment, because they hold the SP and can do what they want. Some abuse it at their will, and get praised by others who don't see past their two faced behavior. Thanks for the feedback.

Thank you! Whatever you said about Steem is a bitter truth. This would have been the most unequal society if it were a country.

I feel very lucky that as a kid it was repeated to many so many times not to worry about what others think of me. Just do what is right and in the end others will either see my point of view or they probably weren't worth having as friends anyways. This is a very simplified version of what they said, but it's close enough.

Over the years there have been times some of my closest friends probably hated me for a minute, have had fist fights with a couple of them, yet now 25 plus years later we all are still amazing friends. When someone can have 20 plus friends travel out of state to spend a day with them to celebrate a birthday when all those friends have kids and other responsibilities you know that you've done something right in life.

These days I spend more time trying to instill this knowledge that you can't just follow the crowd like sheep into my kids. "but others are doing it" is something that will never fly in my home. If others are doing wrong it doesn't mean that it's ok for you to do the same.

Any day of the week I'll stand alone if it means I'm shinning a light on a wrong. In the end others will come to the those who are shining a light on an issue. That light will draw in those who were afraid to say something first, but knew in their heart that something was wrong. It only takes one to start a movement.

Yeah, being bogged down by what other people think and expect of you can be limiting your potential. We can't just go along to get along, as that just keeps things the same way, and others are choosing how we go forward.

I have most certainly felt both sides very strongly. Feeling great with a group, and having lots of support. Also being with a group that I didn’t want to, that I couldn’t really be myself or stand for the truth so to speak... it was a negative group that I chose to leave. Standing alone is very beneficial for the mind, personally I feel it can strength an individual greatly! Having the courage to rand alone, to go out and be, you can reset yourself from past negative experiences for sure. Stand for the truth!

Yeah, group dynamics have both positive and negative aspects, like much in life there is duality involved ;) People should learn to be comfortable being alone, solitude, lonely, and build strength within to be ok without the need for others to validate their existence. Then we don't go forcing ourselves to maintain allegiances that don't serve us or principled living.

I grew up in this position, my family being exactly the spineless individuals you describe... (with the exception of my dad).
... after my dad died, I haven't spoken to any of them.

Standing up on your own and not being scared of telling your truth, is kind of a default setting for me.
...It's definitely not a group activity, in my experience.
lol

Good stuff. We can stand up for our conviction and be wrong too ;) But at least we speak up.

I usually try to avoid drama and hurting someone's feeling that i love. My whole goal is to get past a day with as little conflict as possible. I have a tendency of getting hung on things. Not good for my mental health

Getting hooked to many little things isn't necessary for sure, better to just move along, but avoiding conflict is also problematic as you don't voice yourself and your voice isn't heard :/

I know thats the right thing to do, but thats just against my nature :)

To me for someone to correct me is for that someone to love me. Thus what you say below is a favor we each can do for each other.

"Don't fear being alienated because you dare to stand up against someone's nonsense by correcting them, criticizing them, or showing how they are wrong."

In your writings you have done me this favor time and again.

Thank you!

You're welcome. As long as the criticism is valid, it should be welcome indeed ;)

You raised a complex topic. When I read your thoughts, they will find in my soul a response. Once I communicated with people who listened and helped with support, but when I needed moral support, they translated the topic to their problems. break I found people who not only take, but give.
We must stand together.

Giving support helps to raise up others in need of help. Standing together is powerful for ourselves as well.

The more sacred place is when you are alone. Most of the things you mention on the post is bitter trith and many i am going through cutrently at work...

It must be tough to have no one care about the situation you're in :/

"We never walk alone" when we are alone we tend to make mistakes than in group. In fractions they are stronger and alone they are weak. Truth is truth and no matter how it is hidden it can never be dismissed. Integrity, virtue and honesty is requied of any man so as when he sees a truth even when alone will prove a point.

Groups can also lead to group think and making mistakes too ;)

I know, but compared to a single individual it is the best.

nice post bro

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

sir @krnel.
Anyone in this world, must live because of some hopes that are hung and created by himself. Either hope reaches the ideals to live better in the future, or hope that hangs on someone who is considered capable of respecting and appreciating us. But not everyone deserves to be involved in the line of destiny that we draw together with the prayers that are sung every time to the creator.

The human eye is not in the setting to see how God's will works, we can only know what the eye can really see without knowing and guessing what else God plans in the fate line that we draw.

Power and fear can be used to intimidate one from taking a stand and doing what's right. One must have the grid and balls to face fear and its face and do what's right. Only then is a leader born. The spirit and convection and overpower fear and Power. Thanks @krnel

Curated for #informationwar by @stevescoins

Relevance: Human cost of fighting for truth, and ways to mitigate that

Good information
Im suport you

Agree with you @krnel. Everyone needs to stand in truth together.