Somebody once told me that the things we don't like about other people are the things we don't like about ourselves.
He meant that if we dislike someone's mannerisms, we dislike them for being something that we hate about ourselves.
Facial features can serve as a clearer example.
If you don't like your nose, other people with similar noses will look ugly to you.
Sometimes this psychological feature can make you dislike that person for the wrong reasons.
We can use this insight to learn about our insecurities. Whenever you have the urge to complain about someone, consider if you're frustrated because the person is acting in a way that you would at your worst.
If it is, suck it up and change that part of yourself.
Eventually you'll have eliminated the insecurities and will have no need to judge other people.
Am I telling the truth?
If you're a fat person, do you dislike other people who are fat because of that physical feature?
Maybe not.
I think it's possible for a fat man to hate another fat man for the reasons above. But it's far more likely for a fat man to hate a thin man because of jealousy.
So I don't think that this idea is entirely true. It's a nice thought that can be true in some cases.
But life isn't as clear-cut and binary as we'd like.
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I agree with the comments we probably hate only %50 of the time because its also our insecurity but well done on the article I do like abit of psychology upvoted.
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Thanks :) Not sure where I would place that percentage but I often find it easier to empathize with people when thinking of my judgments that way.
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Honestly, I think we can't help but judge, so we might as well put it to good use.
Personally, I wouldn't even bother continuing a conversation with somebody who's rude to the waiter. I can easily find better friends who aren't assholes.
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You make a good point. I agree that judging is an inherent aspect of human psychology.
I guess my thought is rather that you shouldn't just interpret your judgment as something being wrong with the judgee - there's likely an issue with the judge as well.
Thanks for chiming in :)
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Judging things (including people) is the process by which we determine value. I feel that it is a vital to survival and social functioning. As for it's correlation to the person doing the judging, I bet it depends a great deal on the individual. Using myself as an example, my worst trait is being rude or condescending. I am bothered by that type of behavior. Physically, I am on top of things with the exception of my teeth. They are a rotten mess. I am not disturbed in the slightest by the condition of other people's teeth. I would venture the guess that I care about behavior over physical appearance because I am not a superficial person. Don't misconstrue that statement. I won't hold something against someone if they have no control over it. We don't choose our skin color, for example. However we do choose what we wear, how we carry ourselves, how we speak (vocabulary, not voice), etc... Those are things you can judge someone for. To reiterate, I judge to determine of what worth someone or something is to me. I am not comparing myself to someone. If I find value, I will talk to the person or purchase the object. It doesn't have to be the prettiest object, but rather the most functional. People are far more complicated, than say, a pair of shoes or a refrigerator. You can gather a good deal of information from a first impression, but it is not a substitute for getting to know someone, which is a lengthy process. We don't have time to get to know everyone we meet, hence the importance of making a good first impression.
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