Confusing our kids

in psychology •  6 years ago  (edited)

I suspect I might upset a few people for writing this, but in truth this blog of mine has always been a place for me to write down my ideas without holding back. If however, I do hurt someone's feelings while expressing myself, allow me the courtesy of dialogue before reacting in anger.



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The motives


I think without a doubt the intentions here are noble, which is another way of saying that they come from a good place. We can't ignore that in our ever evolving social system of values, the rights of minority groups such as LGBTQ members have finally been taken into account.

Not to dwell too much into spirituality, because in the end is not really that necessary, but it seems to me that making arguments for how precious a human life is, and the need for a society that is accepting it's diverse members is not something many would argue against. When it comes down to it, human rights in their philosophical or legislative form, are meant to work for all humans.

It's probably because the motives behind this are noble, that I struggle somewhat on being critical about, simply because it seems like I'm not appreciating the intention. This of course, is not the case.

Genders


The conversation regarding gender is so triggering these days and for different ideological reasons. That being said, those of us who believe in self governance and personal choice, should be comfortable with all the labels people may pick for themselves. If someone wants to call themselves a non binary conforming gender queer individual, Who am I to say otherwise?

This however is not because I accept this as a personal truth, but because I recognize that I'm not inside that person's mind and therefore cannot really understand the dynamics of their self identification. I do think however, that definings ourselves solely on gender or putting gender as the most important characteristic we have is somewhat defeating, but that is a particular subject to tackle on another ramble.

Do kids really know?


And this is precisely why I find these ideas somewhat confusing. On the one hand I have seen plenty of anecdotal evidence to know that sexual orientation can manifest very early on someone's life, long before any kind of sexual maturity.

I remember particularly a kid who lived next door to us, who we all believed was incredibly feminine, even at the early age of two, a toddler. So, as you can imagine, it was not surprising to any of us when he came out in his teenage years. Side note, the kid is lucky enough to have understanding and loving parents, but that's not too relevant to the point I'm trying to make.

I guess my question is more along the lines of the role a parent should have when he or she identifies that the child may have dysphoria, which is the scientific term for this phenomenon. It seems to me that we may put too much emphasis on what hollywood stars may be doing with their children, but there are underlying questions that I do not possess the answers to, regardless of what Angelina or Charlize decide to do with theirs.

Understanding that when it comes to sexual preferences, we are really talking about a spectrum and not a black and white scenario has really helped me shape some of my own notions on this matter. But I'm still unsure on how a parent should support a child when the situation is not traditional so to speak.

Without a doubt citing biological facts, as some of the more conservative voices like to do, is not very productive for the conversation. There's a clear distinction between two physiological sexes, but not so much when it comes to more complicated psychological self identifying traits, that can't really be simplified by pointing out the existence or the lack of a hole or an appendix.

I'm hopeful that one day this will become a lot easier to grasp, maybe not so much for me in particular, but more in the sense that others can shape a society that is both embracive and not detrimental to the public mental health, bullet points that in my opinion our current ideologies seem to ineffectively foster in both liberal and conservative circles.

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Greetings @meno

We are living in times where acceptance has been part of the social evolution.

The constant advances in technology that end up affecting society, adding the speed in which economic transactions are made in an increasingly globalized world, leads us to be flexible and accept the new stereotypes.

Today situations that we see normal years ago were inconceivable, but these changes are part of evolution.

How will society be in 30 years? We will live and we will see!

It takes a village to raise a child. is literally the scariest sentence I've ever heard.

I totally agree with you, and without the intention to offend, but here we can express ourselves freely and respect the opinion of others, so, I think the following about it:
At present, the roles in the family have been distorted, or rather the personality of the family, all because of a liberation that supports something that does not make sense, but that has been done only to justify what is undue.
God created man and woman. and from there is that you can procreate a child, if homosexual relationships were normal, God would have created woman and woman and that union would give children, or man and man and give children, but that is impossible ... or for those who do not believe in God but believe in science, we could say that nature did not make it possible for 2 women or 2 men to procreate a child, therefore neither can scientifically be said that these relationships are correct.
It's called evolution, but I think that's social backwardness. I respect the decisions of each person, as a saying goes: each head is a world, however, I do not support them and I am not in agreement, because as you say @meno, those relationships confuse the children. My girl always asks me why this man dresses as a woman, or why that man is holding hands with another man.
If we take it to the biblical field, here are the verses that talk about it:
Leviticus 18:22, Leviticus 20:13, Romans 1: 26-27, 1 Corinthians 6: 9

Hey @meno, I so agree that there are some kids who are one sex and present 100% as the other sex. I recall one boy in my educational life who was so feminine. He was a delightful gorgeous kid and can only hope he found his way and is living a good happy life now accepted for who he is.

Live and let live. That’s the way IMHO.

Posted using Partiko iOS

It’s one of those topics that takes people to both extremes. You can find me on the end where there are two genders. Educating my child to see the world with black and white eyes and to have grace for those areas in the grey is only way I see consistency in an ever changing world

That seems a lot more balanced than most my kubs.

Posted using Partiko Android

Maybe it is because I come from one of the most tolerant countries in the world, but indeed...the openness for everybody to follow the gender/sexuality that feels right for them should not be a 'gift' ..it should be normal!

I happen to lean in the same direction.

Posted using Partiko Android

maybe that is why we get along so well...two smart people :D

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