I laugh. To a psychologist? I'm not crazy. It hurts. I'm just scared. And it did not come any time. At least once a week. Or a month. Sometimes only occasionally in a few months. The fear is not too burdensome for me. If I was scared and alone, I would stay up all night and let my body lean against a chair with my laptop on in front of the desk as if I were working. I just dared to lay down and closed my eyes after the dawn call to prayer and people started to move.
I can not explain exactly which part of my life that scares me. I can still remember some things that I really never wanted even in a dream did not, but happened in my life. Unfortunately, in some cases repetition occurs. I am caught in the same situation, experiencing the same thing, and falling in the same feelings. Unfortunately, too, when the next event occurred, I have not really risen from the previous incident. And the thing that made it hard for me to escape was the long span of time that I had to go through until I could think back to normal that I deserved to enjoy life like everyone else was free to enjoy it.
So do not be surprised until today I can only sleep with the lights off, so I can not be seen. I dare not enter a bathroom that is not too bright, except in a place that I already know very well. I prefer a bath or other activity with an open bathroom door, when no one else, even in my own home. I still dare not sleep alone in my new room, even though the room is in a five-star hotel. And some other things that may sound stupid or weird to others.
But, again, I am not sick so no need to psychologist. I'm just scared.