Things I learned this Ramadan: Prayer

There are 5 Pillars of Islam: Prayer, Fasting, Shahadah, Pilgrimage (Hajj), and Charity. Last year, I participated in Ramadan for the first time. I didn't know how to pray formally with gestures and rakats, but this year I actually have a system going on, and I'm quite happy about it. Just like in my magical practice, I'm a relatively solo practitioner. I may go back to the mosque at the end of Ramadan, probably one of the very few nights when I will ever voluntarily wear a hijab, to pray with other Muslims.

Being psychic and spiritually attuned has given me a deep appreciation for prayer.
...but I also know it's rather hard talking about prayer, as it is interwoven with communal traditions.
I'm talking about this here, hoping to start a conversation about the inner dialogues we experience while praying.

So when I first started praying last year, it was a pain learning how to pray in Arabic, but hearing certain verses recited to song was very helpful. I learned only Al Fatihah, the first chapter, or Surah, of the Quran. I didn't do any postures or prostrations. While I was in college, towards the beginning of my final semester, I prayed Al Fatihah and my own English interpretation of Surah 2:10-22, but without gesture.

This year I finally got over my intimidation to the prayer. It was a weird process that was a lot like trying to waltz with someone who has a weak lead. I haven not perfected the physical components of prayer, but I feel comfortable with it enough where it is definitely in sync with my mental worlds.

...and then as I was praying, I noticed strings of thought coming to mind that were not my own pertaining to what I needed to pray about. Eventually, I made substitutions to the ritual prayer, specifically the final two portions prayed before saying "Assalam Olaykum wa rahma tullah."

Its no surprise that prayer is seen as magical to magical practitioners, but I really do wish that Muslims and Sufi would both see its more miraculous qualities. I began to notice those very issues being addressed and coming to surface without my prompting anything. Usually through my roommate or my English Pakistani friend.

More and more I started taking a little bit of creative license with prayer...and I understood why there was a separation between the sexes in mosques. I'd much rather that a random man were not trying to look at my butt while I was in prostration. Now that I think of it, I wonder exactly how gay and lesbian Muslims deal. It's almost like common decency should prevail and certain traditions should be questioned..but for now, I'll set aside my meditations pertaining to sex, love, and lust in Islam, and just continue my analogy. While I know how to waltz, I especially like belly dancing. ;)

I started to look at prayer in its meditative forms as well. Specifically, I kept thinking back to Jan Fries and his book Visual Magick. There were times when I would begin praying, and with my hands firmly placed over my heart, I would stand and wait until I felt ready to begin praying. Sometimes I would pray fast to have prayer act as a disorienting whirlwind for me, but most of the time I try to be very conscientious and honest.

At the end of the prayer ritual, I would just sit and meditate. My favorite part of the prayer is "Sami Allahu liman hamidah" because it has within the statement one of the 99 names of Allah, and I resonate with the concept of "hearing" or "listening" in general.

In many cases, I have found prayer to be an art form as well as a wonderful avenue for receiving information from Allah, which I believe is possible if one is willing to listen. Perhaps my take on prayer is different specifically because I am a silent artist, but I really do wonder if others who attend the mosque I visited a few weeks ago have their own dance and rhythms that they try to perfect as they pray.