My book "Peaceful Parenting" can be scalding...

in reason •  2 days ago 

Imagine it's your tenth wedding anniversary. Your wife spends all day getting ready and shows up at the restaurant. Instead, you call her: "I have to work late, but I called a temp agency. They're sending a guy named Manuel. He speaks some English and is hungry. He might be lactose intolerant, so check with him. He has a gardening job and hasn't showered, but I'm sure it's fine!"

Your wife would be outraged: "What do you mean, you're sending a stranger to have our anniversary dinner with me? I want my husband, not some stranger named Manuel!"

"But you sent our kids to daycare, saying strangers are just as good as family. Don’t be selfish, have a great evening with Manuel!"

Your wife would never accept a stranger instead of your company on your anniversary - but she substitutes a stranger for herself by dropping the kids off at daycare. Strangers are just as good as family, apparently, unless that interferes with her preferences. It's incomprehensible.

Children with working mothers see their moms submitting to their bosses, but fighting with their husbands. She yells at her husband, then the boss calls, and she submits. She speaks to her boss with more respect than to her husband. She’s pleasant to the stranger but difficult with her husband.
If her husband asks her to submit to male authority, she rebels - but she submits to her male boss. Children think, those outside the family have all the power. The man in the family has none.

Good luck getting your sons to look forward to marriage or your daughters to respect their boyfriends and husbands.

If you sacrifice your children’s well-being for your own habits and ego, be prepared to live with the consequences.

Good people respond to sacrifices with reciprocity. If you lend money to a good friend when you are wealthy, he will lend you money if the situation reverses. If you do favors for others, they will do favors for you.

If your children know they come first, they will respect, love, and admire your integrity. Parents claim they’d do anything for their children - but drop them at daycare, ignore their needs, and sacrifice their happiness for a few dollars and social approval.

"Don’t succumb to peer pressure!" say mothers who dump their children with strangers to avoid the stigma of being a stay-at-home mom.

A father tells his children to respect authority - while ignoring their emotional needs so he can brag about his working wife...

https://freedomain.locals.com/post/4718369/freedomain-premium-content

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