Golden Girls (Gritty Reboot)

in reboots •  7 years ago 

For such an iconic show I should have taken more time with this. I'm not sure if somebody else had already did a similar parody. It's what I would think about before work that the seniors walking the mall are running a criminal empire and nobody would suspect it.

Blanche Devereaux a widow that fears she’ll have to sell her historic Miami mansion now that her pension and inheritance is drying up. She places an ad in local paper seeking other retirees to rent to. Those that answered were Rose Nylund, Dorothy Zbornak, and Dorothy’s mother Sophia Petrillo. Despite their pooled resources they housemates struggle to make ends meet. They joke that robbing a bank might night work and how they’ll be labeled as the Blue Haired Bandits. Sophia claims she has a gold mine in her medicine cabinet and the girls decide to go into business.

They sell prescription meds at lower price than their street value and they do it in plain sight. They become mall walkers and pass the goods along in pies, knitted sweaters, and other old people items. Blanche expands the business by starting a call girl ring called Twilight Escorts catering to the senior demographic.

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I could see this going down;)