Intro
It's regarded as a rite of passage to being "red-pilled". Red-pilled is a term to describe being able to see behind the facades and to see things for what they really are. Red-pilled is commonly used to describe those who prescribe to conspiracy theories, but in this case, being red-pilled means seeing female's behaviors and their impact of Feminism in the Western world. What is it is the book, The Rational Male by Rolo Tomassi and I’ll be writing about my thoughts about it and how it has changed my mindset on intergender relationship dynamics. As context, this is from the perspective of an adolescent male in the 21st century, living in the Western world. This is targeted to a male audience.
Being red-pilled means seeing things for what they are, instead of its facade
"Your 'education' doesn't stop once you've unplugged... One thing I remind guys who spit the red-pill back up is that there is no going back” (Tomassi 91). As a male, understanding intergender dynamics helped my ability to acquire and maintain relationships; just don’t mention that you’re red-pilled. “At its root level Game is a series of behavioral modifications to life skills based on psychological and sociological principles to facilitate intersexual relations between genders” (Tomassi 112). The Rational Male sheds light on the female nature to naive men out there, but it can pigeonhole your mindset into thinking that all women have the same hypergamous nature.
Debunking the myth of “the one”
The first thing the book dives into is debunking the myth of “the one” - the soulmate myth. “There is no ONE… There are some good Ones and some bad Ones, but there is no ONE. Anyone telling you anything else is selling you something” (Tomassi 3). This was extremely eye opening for me as I have swallowed Hollywood’s dogma of finding true love and spending your life with someone who was meant for you. One thing I didn’t realize in those situations was that the male and female are of high value in some regard, which is the main attracting and retaining factor for the two genders. To the couple in Hollywood movies, the other was a prize from the individual’s perspective, and this is what made them a “good” one. Something that Hollywood confuses men, is that if you place the woman as the centerpiece of your life, this will make your value in their eyes be decreased. Attention and compassion is needed in a healthy relationship, but if you make it all about her and you’re not focusing on yourself and thereby increasing your value, you’re a “bad” one to her.
Value in people
What makes a man a “good” one in a female's eyes boils down to his success and this correlates to how Alpha a man. “The take home message here is that you are not Alpha because of your achievements, you have achievements because you are alpha” (Tomassi 27). Similar to how men view women as sex objects, women view men as success objects. Tomassi’s definition of being Alpha “... implies that you necessarily rise above a certain degree of common mediocrity depending upon the context…” (Tomassi 28). Just by being a small cut above the rest of mediocrity is enough to make you an Alpha. By doing just this, this adds that extra value to yourself in comparison to the average person. However if you just work on yourself intrinsically, and don’t show any value extrinsically, women will still view you as of low value. The female’s perception of your value is important as well.
Imagine everything that you do contributing to your value
Perceived value is important, which is why having an abundance mindset when it comes to women is needed.
A Man needs to have a lot of simultaneous prospects spinning together. Think of each plate as a separate woman you
are pursuing. Some fall off and break, others you may wish to stop spinning altogether and some may not spin as fast
as you’d like, but the essence of plate theory is that a man is as confident and valuable as his options. This is the
essence of the abundance mindset - confidence is derived from options. (Tomassi 40)
Essentially, you need to have options so that women will think that you and your time are valuable. This makes the man the prize that women are chasing after. It also is a form of social proof that other women are vetting for this man. This also needs to be done covertly, for obvious reasons. This also maintains the man’s frame in the relationship, which is really important for establishing as a high value man. What this means is that you want to have your own world going on for you - ultimately your success - and the women are the ones stepping into it, not the other way around. If things go awry in the relationship, the more emotional and needy the man becomes, the more you lose your perceived frame and value. A man with high value is what’s ultimately desired by women, and he may not be aware of his value due to the rhetoric which society teaches us about relationships and the ideal man to women.
Why men are unaware of the idea of value
Society teaches men that the women are the prize in the relationship, a man just needs to be himself to get girls, and the soulmate myth. I touched on making women the prize and the soulmate myth early on. The notion of “just being yourself” to get girls is a popular notion that usually gets reinforced by other men, who Tomassi calls “a frustrated chump” AFC for short. Consciously or unconsciously, this idea to “just be yourself” realistically brings others’ value down or at the same level it currently is. It may sound like the nice thing to say, but in reality, it is far more effective to raise your value to attract and retain another person. Tomassi compares guys that say “just be yourself” to crabs in a bucket pulling another crab, which is about to escape, back into the bucket. With media displaying men fighting tooth and nail for women, overly romantic dramas reinforcing the idealized soulmate myth, and the deceitful advice to just be yourself, men are led astray and never really fully grasp the reason as to why they aren’t where they want to be in terms of relationships.
Conclusion
The Rational Male has been an eye opening in terms of female nature, but it’s not correct to assume all women are of that nature.
... With the rise of feminization from the late 60s to the late 90s men were clueless as to their social predicament…
Feminization is finally having the curtain pulled back on it. In this new age of communication, men can globally ‘share
notes’ and come to their own conclusions” (Tomassi 83-84).
Tomassi states that the internet forums for game as the force that counteracts the Feminists taking over the narrative of the Western world. If this is true, then being red-pilled is nothing no better than radical feminism. These two things are opposite sides of a spectrum. Nothing is binary and human nature falls in a wide spectrum. It’s important to not get too narrow minded and see things for what they are first, then form your judgements. Not all women are hypergamous sluts. It’s easy to fall into a misogynist mindset after being red-pilled on female nature, but it’s important to think that we are both on the team - not an us versus them mentality. In the end, male and female are homo sapiens trying to make things work out in our complex Western society. We need each other for different functions since the origin of our species, and the fact remains today. Although I have enjoyed The Rational Male and have made myself keen on the behavior of women and how to make myself better appeal to women, I want to stay centered in my mind and see things for how they are before forming any judgments. We are on the same team, and if I get too far into the red-pill, it’s not much better than radical feminism.