…continued… from part 1 and part 2
When you have crossed a particular age, your parents start piling pressure on you, the society starts seeing you as a failure and the moment you have other reasons to theirs, they think you are not thinking straight. I have seen couples who said they won’t try to have kids until 4 years after marriage and because the ‘society’ and ‘social media in-laws’ are not seeing any baby bump, they feel there is a spiritual undertone to it. They feel something is wrong and starts inventing a problem that never existed in the first place.
You need to let your ‘why’ be the judge of every step you want to take in life, and particularly marriage that requires a long time commitment and a lifetime of sacrifice. I have heard terrible reasons why some people want to get married. You will feel like slapping some people when they open up their mouth to tell you why. Please, whatever reason you come up with, no matter how foolish it is, be honest with yourself and try to seek a better and greater reason. Until you get to the point where your reason doesn’t sound stupid to others, don’t take that step. Remember, be honest with yourself.
I have heard many people say they want to get married because they have held on for so long and would love to have sex. As much as sex is part of the total package of marriage, which should never be your only reason. When situations happen and reality stares at you in the face, then you will know that marriage is more than sex.
I have heard many people say they want to get married because of financial support. So, what happens when there is a low turn-out of fund during the marriage? Will you leave and forsake the promises you made to each other during marriage? You reasons should be greater than that. Many would tell you it is because of love. In fact, many people hide under the word ‘love’ but there is always that bit of selfishness underneath. Of course, love is good and it is required but when his face starts getting old and her beauty starts fading while you see young guys and ladies out there, would your love still stand that test of time? You need to ask yourself this question every single time.
…to be continued…
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.
Dear friend @olawaliun
After marriage, not having children for 4 or 5 years may be a search for a happy life, because life is meant to be used for life. Although thinking about these things in society is very wrong, they believe that even after 5 years there is a special reason behind not having a child, due to which the person who has been seen with hatred is seen. Maybe a person is trying to live their life according to the concept of limited family. Although there are some cases where a person is ready for marriage but is unable to speak to his family. In our society, a person who says this kind of thing is seen from the wrong perspective. We need to be honest in the responsibilities of our responsibilities, and we must fill up only for important work like marriage, when we are mentally ready, that marriage is a great responsibility and we have to face bigger challenges. Which flourish between human life and society.
Regards
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Yes, we focus too much on what the culture dictates and what the environment with what others say over what we really want. A lot of people need to understand that marriage is a private party. You will be the one to face everything alone. If they push you into a marriage you are not mentally ready for, you will be the one to suffer it the most and not them, which is why it is important to shun every word that negates what we believe in and what we want to do. As you have said, it is a call to greater responsibility which must not be joked with.
Thanks a lot, my friend.
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I was speaking in a gathering and i said; Even though i stand corrected, what makes one rich or wealthy or comfortable is been able to meet every need at every material point in time.
Marriage is a total package full of both the good, the bad and ugly and when you have little or no clue on how to handle these shits, when they come you become a Rabbit running in broad day light. This very piece Is the reason why after some ladies start giving birth to children, they have nothing to offer again.
Time test every motives and when the time comes be rest assured the true self will surface.
thanks for sharing sir
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This is brilliant. Indeed, time test every motive and with the passage of time, your motive would be tested too and exposed.
Many ladies get it wrong because they think giving birth is what they have to offer. Some even make it sound like they are doing you a favour. As much as child bearing is a huge task which I agree, but it is a shame to think that is the only thing a lady must contribute to marriage. They seem to limit their powers and ability anytime they think this way.
Thanks a lot, brother.
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