The way a couple handles anger can often make or break a relationship. Don't settle for yelling matches and slamming doors.
A therapist offers advice on how to effectively communicate anger in your relationship.
(1) Do not succumb to the urge to cut off
When people are fighting with their partners, they may feel compelled to slam a door and give them the quiet treatment. Going silent may briefly relieve your stress, but it is likely to exacerbate your partner's uneasiness or fury.
This does not imply that you must sit down and address a problem right away. Rather than speeding out of the driveway or walking away, explain to your partner that you need some time to calm down and organise your thoughts.
(2) Concentrate on Self-Management
When someone we care about is upset with us, we typically feel driven to placate and calm them down as soon as possible. However, we can't control anyone else's thoughts, behaviours, or emotions; we're only responsible for our own.
Being calm is far more successful than attempting to calm someone else, and those who can stay focused on their own emotions and reactions allow the other person to do the same. Rather than saying, "Please calm down!" try taking a few deep breaths and lowering your heart rate.
(3) Triangles Must Be Avoided
When you're angry or irritated with a partner, venting to a friend, your child, or even your therapist might be cathartic. An emotional triangle occurs when we employ a third person to control our stress about another individual.
It is very natural to want to vent, and it is not a bad thing. However, sometimes this "triangling" prevents us from resolving the issue in the first place, and it can make your spouse feel lonely or even defensive.
(4) Ignore the Problems
As people, certain issues are more likely to elicit an angry or anxious emotion, which might result in conflict. Money, politics, religion, sex, parenting, and family dysfunction are frequently discussed.
It's tempting to assume that having opposing viewpoints might lead to animosity and conflict, but our immature reactions to these matters, rather than our actual viewpoints, are more often to blame.
So, instead of focusing on settling dispute as swiftly as possible, return your attention to replying as maturely as possible.
So these are the few things which helps you to control your anger and frustration in a Relationship.
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