It’s really hard to imagine any relationship without conflicts. Disagreements are a natural part of any healthy relationship. Therefore we have to accept them as a normal thing. Though, it is extremely important how we handle them and try to avoid them in the future. So, here are some 10 tips on how to avoid conflicts in a relationship and handle them if they occurred.
How to Avoid Conflicts in a Relationship
Obviously, to build a healthy relationship you should start with choosing the right partner. Here is the useful article: how to find a girlfriend in 2021. It gives some working tips to find the right girl for you.
So, no one really likes to have conflicts. If there is a chance to get around minor troubles that potentially can grow into a large scene then you should do it. Here are some essential tips.
1. Don’t talk about previous relationships. Try to get over your exes and never talk about them with your partner. Don’t try to compare, cause this will take you nowhere. Note, you broke up with your ex for a reason. Although, sometimes it is really hard to forget. Here is a highly recommended article: 10 steps to forget your ex.
2. Don’t bring your troubles. Indeed, sometimes we have some troubles with our relatives, friends, on our jobs, etc. We ruin our mood and come to our beloved people extremely frustrated. Don’t do that.
3. Your happiness is your responsibility.
Just check what Will Smith said about that:
“You cannot make a person happy. I thought that was a real deep idea. You can make a person smile. You can make a person feel good. You can make a person laugh. But, whether or not a person is happy is deeply and totally and utterly out of your control.”
“I remember the day I retired. I literally said to Jada ‘That’s it. I retire. I retire from trying to make you happy. I need you to go make yourself happy and just prove to me that it’s even possible.”
4. Don’t repeat your mistakes. When you did a stupid thing one time that caused a bad conflict, don’t do it again. It sounds like an obvious thing, but unfortunately we pay a lack of attention to this. The largest scandals and even breakups are caused by a repeated misconduct, but not a single one.
5. Do small good things. If the previous paragraph was about what we “do”, this one is about what we “don’t do”. Your attention to your partner is super important. Your partner expects from you some small good things like surprises, flowers, phone messages, etc. As Michael Jackson said: “Neglection can kill”. We will add “Neglection can kill your relationship”.
How to Handle Conflicts in a Relationship
Of course, there are some situations when you cannot avoid conflicts. It happens quite often in the early stages of your relationship. This is the time when you both make mutual concessions and find the perfect balance. Let’s call it “negotiations”.
And the most important thing is how you handle conflicts in a relationship. Here are some working tips.
1. Estimate the size of the problem. The first thing to do is to try to understand whether the problem is huge. Sometimes the subject of the conflict is absolutely insignificant and the fight can be stopped right in the beginning.
2. Try to understand the real nature of the conflict. That is a tough one. Quite often the subject of the fight is not a “real” problem. Your partner can be frustrated because of troubles at work, bad mood, health issues, etc. Try to recognize that and change focus. You should discuss the real problem.
3. Be calm and respectful. When you find yourself in a fight with your partner try to stay calm. You both can say extremely painful things to each other during the hot conversation. And you don’t even mean it.
Also be respectful with your partner. Don’t use an abusive language and pay attention to arguments. Try to turn your fight into a discussion. You will notice that in a couple of minutes you both will calm down.
4. Don’t go to bed if your conflict is not over. This one is super important. When you have a major disagreement that threatens your future relationship don’t go to bed. First of all, you both will not sleep well and second of all you will blow it up in your head to an incredible size.
Try to resolve it before you go to sleep or at least admit that the question is important and you need to think about it. Make sure that you both cooled off.
5. Breakup is also a way out. There are some situations when you come to terms with the fact that the breakup is inevitable. For example, you both cannot give up your hobbies, interests, life values that contradict.
Another example is when your partner does something that you cannot forgive whatsoever.
Make sure to check a nice article: 5 things you should never forgive in relationships.
You should not blame each other and turn it into a major fight, because people converge and diverge every day. And if there is nothing you both can do, just let it go.