How to revive relationships and restore intimacy?

in relationship •  5 years ago 

“Love lives for three years” - such an idea was put forward by the famous French writer. It would seem that long-term marriages are clear evidence of the opposite, but there is still some truth in this saying. Love, harmony in relations with a loved one is a variable value. It is equally inherent in both ups and downs. And if feelings began to fade, then how to revive love in the family and return relationships? How to return passion to a relationship, thus resuscitating them? And is it worth saving a sinking ship? There are a lot of questions on this topic, but we will try to give an answer to each of them.

There are two things that the ear does not hear already a mile, but whose echo still spreads from one end of the earth to the other: this is when a felled tree falls, which still bears fruit, and when a woman who loves him sighs when she is sent by her husband. © Lyon Feuchtwanger

Stay or leave?
Something like this sounds like a question that every woman asks herself when to come to her with the realization that in their relationship with a loved one everything is not as smooth as we would like. To begin with, think about what price you need to pay for the returned love, and will it be love?

First of all, you need to understand only one thing - the salvation of drowning people, always only the drowning people themselves. If you see that all your efforts are wasted, then think about it: does it make sense to try to reanimate what is essentially dead already? Because, the maximum that you can count on in such a situation is a complex of guilt towards you, on the part of your beloved. Yes, maybe he will stay close, for some time romance may even be present, but we will be frank - all this will be just an illusion, a surrogate that, as though I didn’t want to, could not replace true love. Trying to regain relations with her husband, it is very important to know that there is something to return.

Understand that sacrifice on your part can only harm you in the first place. If your half requires you to leave work, just because you have little time to be alone, then do not rush to burn bridges. Think it over carefully, because perhaps the first bell has sounded now that it is worth reconsidering your relationship in order to see the real situation.

However, as we all understand, not all relationships can be returned. If from the following facts you answered at least three positively, then it is worth putting a bullet in such relations, since it is no longer possible to reanimate them:

Regular cheating - it would seem that the presence of this fact is already an occasion in order to forget a person once and for all. But the reality is that most people (especially women) for a very long time cherish the hope that their partner will just come to their senses, understand that they are better. Possible worse option. When a woman, while searching for how to return passion to a relationship, begins to blame herself. So, dear ladies, instead of wasting your inner strength to forgive the asshole, use them for your own good - find a new one.
The complete absence of joint emotions - we are talking, of course, only about positive, but not negative at all. If a couple has forgotten how to rejoice together, then be sure - the relationship can no longer be saved.You know the saying: is a friend in need? So, in relation to her beloved it must also be applied, and if you do not at least share moments of happiness, then what can we say about the moment when trouble knocks on the door?
Sleep separately from each other - any advice on how to return passion to a relationship will be useless if the partners sleep separately from each other. A similar situation is often due to the beloved punishment of women. Have you heard about this? “You sleep on the couch today!” And then the control knock on the bedroom door. Sounds funny, huh? But because of instead of the desired result of such "re-education" - an apology, you will get complete apathy in relation to yourself. So think carefully about whether to apply such an “inhuman” punishment.
Goodbye trust - regular calls, SMS to your loved one with only one purpose - to find out where he (s) and with whom. This is a pronounced sign of a complete lack of trust in the pair. We are not talking about the fact that you are just worried, so they called to clarify whether everything is fine. No, it is a strong pressure on your part that borders on tyranny. So, if you want to return the relationship with your loved one, then finally stop dealing with telephone terrorism! Learn to trust loved ones!
Communication only through the use of quarrels - sooner or later due to the large amount of accumulated resentment, the omission of any conversation to occur in raised tones. Any reason to talk, frankly, is regarded extremely negatively, developing into a quarrel. If the family is not able to conduct an adequate dialogue, then this is no longer a family, but simply cohabitation of two people.
Only apart - a kind of final alarm that the time to end the relationship is that it has become more comfortable for you to spend your free time separately from each other. You are much better off spending time alone with yourself or with friends than going somewhere with your loved one. Unfortunately, if this happens, then it makes no sense to try to save the situation. Consider this a kind of rejection of each other.

As you can see, all of the above reasons are a clear sign that saving relationships is simply a waste of time, and most importantly internal forces. Trying to keep such a Titanic afloat, you just run the risk of burn out emotionally. Of course, letting go of that person who used to be the whole world for you is very difficult, but sometimes necessary. Understand one simple rule for yourself: if this person is yours, then he will, sooner or later, return to you.

Operation "Save Love" has begun!

And yet, if you find yourself among the lucky ones who just have temporary difficulties that need, and most importantly can be fixed, then here you are. To begin with, it is worth emphasizing that the methods of how to return passion to relationships for men and for women are radically different. What a woman can ignite in a relationship is rare when she can give even a small spark in a man’s performance. For this reason, the advice of a psychologist on how to return a family will be divided into two blocks: separately for men, separately for women.

Recommendations for women
If you have to establish relations with your man, then you need to remember one simple thing - absolutely all men are materialists. The chance that they will be somehow affected by conversations or requests is minimal. And if, nevertheless, they even take action, then for a very short period of time. So if you want to get a well-deserved result of your efforts, it will be very effective to apply the following tips to life:

More touches - wanting to restore relations with her husband, most women try to follow too sophisticated advice and practices, forgetting that with men, the tactics that are simpler will be better. So rule number 1 - hug your loved one, thus expressing your care, and also showing tenderness. However, there is one caveat - the right time for a hug. If you see that the guy is not configured for any tactile contact, then you should not walk behind him, trying to impose your touches. True, you don’t need to overdo it either, because there is a possibility that you will be christened the octopus.
Give gifts - not only the fair sex loves when they are pampered with gifts. No matter how you are told that this is superfluous, that it is absolutely not important to him - do not listen. The same words are spoken by the girls to the guys, and then they are all the same offended because he listened to her and donated nothing. This way to return passion to a relationship is very effective. True, you need to clarify. The gift should be desired, as well as one that could be used daily. An ideal option would be a watch or if your young man smokes an expensive lighter. It is better not to give socks.
Help is necessarily sincere, and most importantly disinterested. In no case, you can not set the terms of the agreement with your husband: you say to me, and I to you. Only altruism is pure water. Nobody tells you to do the impossible, but agree, it doesn’t cost anything if you see that your half is tired at work, prepare a delicious dinner, and then do a relaxing massage without obligation before bedtime? Or, for example, during a car repair, bring him a small lunch. True love, care and tenderness is always manifested in such trifles.
Support - in order to revive love in the family it is very important to become a full-fledged support to your husband. Problems at work, conflict with friends - all this is so exhausting that even a wolf howls. A loving wife, at such moments, does not fulfill the role of a saw, which once again reminds him of this, but simply remains nearby, saying encouraging words, showering with care more than usual.
Be not one wave - the spouse loves fishing? It's time to get interested in her. Of course, you should not run headlong behind gear or spinning, but it’s still worth showing interest in his hobbies. Start a conversation on the topic of his hobby, ask to explain certain points. It is important to show sincere interest during the conversation, because if the man sees that you started the dialogue purely out of politeness, insult is guaranteed.This is how acting tips look for women who think not only about how to return passion to a relationship, but want to return harmony with understanding to their personal lives. There is no order of their application. You need to be guided by the situation, excluding something for a while, and combining something. But one thing is certain for sure - the result will pleasantly surprise you.

How to get your wife back in the family: a guide for dummies

The situation is completely opposite in men. The fact is that if you managed to make your spouse stop all attempts to restore harmony to your relationship, then there are only two options: she is either very offended by you or is already looking for a way to poison you (just kidding). The problem with most men is only that you want to start saving relationships when there is really nothing to save, but it’s still possible. In your case, there is only one option - show your love. Yes exactly. Start looking after your wife or girlfriend again, making her feel beautiful again, and most importantly, desired.
Start giving flowers not only on March 8 and your birthday - give them for no reason. See that she is tired after work? Make dinner (even if it is pasta with sausages), wash the dishes and put them to bed. The main thing is to be attentive, caring always, and not only then there will be a mood. Start to compliment her in the end! Or no one told you that women love with ears?
Just let’s clean: if you don’t start thinking about how to return passion to a relationship, then believe me - this will be done by another man. The world has not come together like a wedge on you, which means that there is a great chance that there is a man nearby who clearly appreciates your girlfriend, showing all that care along with tenderness, which you probably forgot about. You will see: as soon as a sincere gamut of tender feelings is shown on your part, the response from the side will not be long in coming. You will even be pleasantly surprised by the fact that a wife can be not only a grouchy vixen who is always unhappy with everything, but can also be affectionate, understanding. Initially, it all depends on your attitude to her. Be sure your wife’s behavior is a mirror image of your relationship with her.
Summarizing the above, I want to say only one thing: love one another. Do not hide your feelings, shy or afraid of ridicule from the outside. The manifestation of your true feelings is a normal phenomenon, which is necessary so that the person you love knows that everything is in order with you. Remember that caring is the true manifestation of love.

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