The 5 Phases Of Intimacy (And Why You Need To Know Where You Are)

in relationship •  7 years ago  (edited)


The early stages of romance can be quite the rollercoaster ride. It’s a series of ups and downs with a few twists and turns in between. But that’s what we sign up for when we take a chance on falling in love. We can’t just pick and choose the parts that we want. We have to be willing to go through the motions. We have to be able to take things as they come and we can’t afford to rush.

There are phases that come with building physical intimacy with another person and we can’t just speed through these phases if we want to do things right. We have to be meticulous with our ways. So what are the phases of intimacy? At what phase are you currently in with your relationship? How do you know when your levels of intimacy are practically rock solid? Read on until the end of this article to find out the answers to these questions.

  1. Initial infatuation.

It’s thrilling. It’s exhilarating. It’s a rush of blood to the head. You just meet someone for the first time who actually makes you feel different. You encounter a person who seems to tick off all of the things on your checklist for the perfect romantic partner. Things are going great so far and you know that this really has the potential to be something special. The infatuation phase of intimacy is always great. It’s the phase where you feel like nothing could possibly go wrong. It’s where we completely suspend our rational behavior and we walk on the clouds of happiness and romance. Think of the initial infatuation phase as the part of your relationship where you are actually building the foundation of your intimacy. This is where intimacy is perceived to be at its most ideal for a lot of couples.

  1. The landing of the flight.

Think of this phase of intimacy in your relationship as an airplane that’s about to make it’s landing. It’s different for every couple. There are so many variables that come into play in this phase. A smooth landing depends on the skills and experience of the pilots. The weather must also be in cooperation. There are plenty of things that are going on and they must all be taken into consideration. This is the phase of intimacy where people will really start to get rid of their rose colored gasses that were there during the initial infatuation phase. This is when they really start to realize that perfection doesn’t exist after all. This is where the raw imperfect natures of their relationship really come to life – and they could pose as potential threats to the intimacy of a relationship. Some landings are rough and some are smooth. But it’s not the defining moment of a relationship at all.

  1. The role assignments.

You’ve practically seen the relationship’s good and bad side. If you’re still together after that, then it means that you still believe that the level of intimacy that you established with one another in the first phase has some real potential. But now, you take a pragmatic approach to your relationship. You can no longer afford to just be walking on clouds all the time. You really have to acknowledge that you have to get stuff done as a couple. You need to have your share of roles and responsibilities. You understand that intimacy isn’t always going to look pretty. You have to embrace the grind of love and relationships if you are going to move forward in your relationship together.

  1. The re-invigoration.

This is the phase of intimacy wherein you both go back to your roots. This is where you take yourselves back to the initial thrill and joy that you used to feel in the infatuation phase of your relationship. This is where you take a step back to just try and remember the greatest things about your relationship – the happiness that you can find in one another. This is where you just remind yourselves of the reasons why you got together in the first place and why you’re both still willing to stick things out together. This is the phase of intimacy where you can really start to feel like you have something stable and real.

  1. The Love

And at the end of it all, the ultimate goal of building on intimacy is love. This is why you chose to stick things through with one another. It’s essentially the evolution of your intimacy into something that is real, hot, and heavy. If your intimacy served as the foundation for your building, your love is what is going to take you to the next level with one another. Love gives you the courage and the tools to take your relationship even further.

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