Anecdotally, in every divorce I've witnessed in which the woman outearns the man, it wasn't because the man was insecure,... it was because the woman lost respect for the man. This would also explain why in these cases, the woman files for divorce almost 90% of the time (it's usually not the man filing for divorce, it's usually the man trying to make things work)
It's not that the majority of these men show some insecurity, it's that the women slowly grow to disrespect the man. Most women don't want to commit to a guy they view as underachieving and/or no real future. Guys don't really care about this, so that's why most guys can't even see this from the opposite sex. (much like how many women sell themselves as men, not women, when asked about what they bring to the table for a man) Men can date a woman who works in fast food and not even think twice about it. Same usually doesn't apply to women, who are usually hypergamous (seeking a mate that's a step up the social ladder)
I'm just saying, before you go blaming men for being insecure, maybe you should also look at how the women mentally change over time to resent their man, which leads to higher divorce rates.
I just don’t believe that most people who stayed married in the non-woman outworn camp are actually unhappy, and that people who got divorced in the woman-out earn-camp are all happy.
I’m betting that if we surveyed these people, the ones who stayed married and didn’t have to go through this scenario would show high happiness ratings, and that the divorced people would have less happiness ratings.
I believe the male-female income gap dilemma is simply an additional stressor. A stressor that most couples (where the man earns equal or more to the woman) don’t have to experience, and hence they are happier without that dynamic occurring.
I just don’t think we have a bunch of unhappy married people in the “never experience woman making more camp”, and that we have a bunch of happy divorcees in the “wife made more money” camp.