When it comes to a relationship, a lot of things happen. It is quite easy to start a relationship, but maintaining it is another story entirely.
In the course of the relationship, there will be times when issues will crop up and either you or your partner may get angry. Everyone gets angry now and again, but how you deal with this emotion is crucial to the success of your relationship.
The way you handle anger will dictate whether or not your relationship has a future. This is why it is never a good thing for you to have a short fuse as it could make you say hurtful words which you don’t mean. But alas! You’ve said the words and they could never be taken back.
Even though you finally calm down and apologies have been exchanged, those cruel words will never be forgotten, and this could have dire consequences for the future of the relationship.
The following words or sentences should never be uttered in the heat of the moment:
I am tired of you.
I hate you!
Everybody goes through trying times in life, and most especially when you are in a relationship. But when it relates to your partner, verbalizing the situation could be misinterpreted. Your partner may assume that they are the problem behind your non-achievement of your ambitions or goals in life and this can be demeaning.
Words like these almost always signal the end of the relationship as it shows that you don’t care anymore.
You are devil.
Calling your partner names such as devil, prostitute, and other unprintable words are sure to kill off any relationship. Name-calling shows that your partner has no integrity whatsoever and no one who is that degraded is likely to forget anytime soon.
You should be like this person.
No one likes to touch a hot iron rod, comparing your partner to another person is akin to touching a hot iron rod. Do not compare your partner to another person of the same gender, especially if the person in question is someone that both you and your partner know.
If that individual has done well in life, comparing your partner to such a person will only indicate that you view your partner as a failure by not reaching or exceeding your expectations. Another statement that could be as damning as the former is ‘My ex is better than you!’
Words like that have been known to end relationships abruptly without any hope of salvaging it. This is why you must never compare your partner with your ex-, no matter what.
Other comments such as:
Are you going to eat all that?
Shut up!
As it was mentioned earlier, maintaining a relationship is not an easy feat. Bridling your tongue, especially when you are in a foul mood is very crucial. Therefore, it is vital to ensure that you don’t say insensitive words to your partner whenever you are angry or have a fall out with your partner.
Yes you are right @jwolf it's easy to start a relationship but maintaining relationship is bit difficult. You have to be very careful especially when you are in anger mode, I think in this situation it's better to be silent for a while, when you think now you calm down then start conversation again.
Your's suggestions are very useful to maintain a good relationship, thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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@jwolf You nailed it right on the head. Hurtful words and negative comparism of your partner are two key issues you mentioned that are relationship destroyers.
Other things that easily destroy relationships are disdain or lack of respect for your partner, lies, and inattention. These are equally bad for the good health of relationships. Thanks for your incisive perspective.
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Any relationship must be built on trust.
Another Sentence you shouldn't say to your partner.
‘‘I wish things were how they used to be.’’
Ahh come on, we've all said it. When you're going through a rough patch or a bit of a tricky time, it's hard not to reminisce about the honeymoon period where you were banging 24/7 and having just one giant laugh together. "We cannot relive or recreate the past, so this type of statement is NEVER helpful. It also creates a sense of longing, yearning and wishful thinking, which devalues the positive aspects of the current relationship, and corrupts and restricts it’s future growth," David says.
Say this instead: "With all our wonderful times and fantastic history, we can create a better future for ourselves" or "Let’s work together and use all the lessons we have learnt, so we never make those same mistakes again."
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no pain no gain..
sometimes you will get a lot of pain in relationship, but what you gain That is "LOVE"...
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I have noted all, I will need this in near future :)
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I agree! I never even thought to say something like this... :)
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good topic
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Great post, I'm sorry for any harmful words I have spoken
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You are right, any relationship must be built on trust first and on accepting the other
There is a beautiful anger that can be forgiven and that comes from jealousy
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That is so true, the words can hurt more than we think, to be into a relationship is not easy at all. Great post! Gracias por compartir!
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This is a really great article. All your views about relationship are really very nice and impressive.
I really appreciate your opinions and suggestions that you have mentioned in your article. All the points are really true.
Thank you so much for writing this great article.
Stay blessed:-)
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Nice!! You seem to have experienced distance.... Nice advices...
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My girlfriend like using some of this words on me, (I hate you ) but I ve come to understand that it has become part of her vocabulary, and I stop holding it against her, I love her so much despite this words, ( I hate you)
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Good post
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Well Its really nice and great stuff @jwolf
Awesome post and nice article on choosen partner life. Every one born to live life with joy and sorrow but at the end become die. This is natural work process we can't ignore it.
Keep it up and all the best
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Harsh words like those creates a wide gap between realtionship.....your posts are always valueable and raise out importance that one always needs in his day to day life ....
thanks a lot @jwolf
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Yes, its very bad comparing your partner to another! Nice advice for couples.
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for continue the relationship you should be 2 person in 1 to fully understand each other.
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Great post
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Interesting write up... Have said so many words i regret saying when i get angry, everyday of my life i wish i never said some words, i wish i can change the hands if time maybe i will still have the love Of my life with me. So sad she cant get to see this
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That's totally right! Those things are not worth saying even when there are issues in the relationship... I hate the comparison thing though
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we all need to take care of that lol ;p
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thankyou for warning @jwolf again good advice
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This post has received a 0.83 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @jwolf.
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You are right about that but as i am a married person i can say every thing but (not abusing and 100% not hiting or beating ) i can say get out from my home. You work like old women . so boring but after time she said ok ok now you are happy i said ok i am happy i thing bro that is life and where always love love love thats not good you have right to say if you feel somthing wrong and also she have right to say her man if feel wrong that is what i think
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You are so right. Neither we should speak words which might cause pain to somebody, and if it comes to us from someone, we need to understand that it is coming from a mind that is angry and unaware of what it is saying.
If we learn to keep calm , in no time the person will come and apologize for their behaviour. And even if they do not do it, it is no loss to us. At least we did not lose your sanity!
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it is really good to be careful of words said when angry to a loved one. it can really hurt for a really long time even after you have said sorry and really mean it.
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I read a good article. It was a piece that re-entered the importance of words.
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Most person don't understand the power of anger, and how hurtful words could be when said. Anger has destroyed a lot of relationships, relationships that took years to build have been destroyed in seconds due to anger. I hope most people learn from this post, and learn to curtail it.
What's your twitter handle?
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I love yours news posts about relationships :-)))
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The most job in the word is to maintain any relationship in a very balanced way. Human behavior is a complex thing because it is always a mixture of Nature and Nurture. So, human behavior needs psychological aspects to understand the Chemistry of fellow humans especially the behavior of Partner.
Well you said absolutely Right
That is why it is mentioned in #Quran ( The Islamic Book of the Muslims)
Sound and affectionate behavior can change one's entire mood and life too.
Life is not about abusing and hating but to share and to spread Love. Because after all we shall die, we have to go back.
So Thanks a lot My Friend for sharing your beautiful ideas and making us aware about this sensitive issue. A few things you taught me in this blog for which i shall take care before falling into a relationship @jwolf
Stay the same Great Guy <3
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good advice @jwolf
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Well said @jwolf. But love has always been a tricky affair you say those words because you're hurting. Hurting people hurt others
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