In February, my boyfriend of nearly two years (whom I lived with) broke up with me out of the blue. Of course, now that I look back on the relationship, it really was not out of the blue. He had been distant for months, he never told me he loved me anymore, and we had drifted apart. I wasn't sleeping at night because I knew something was wrong, and I did not want to face it.
Fast forward to April...
I had told myself that I wouldn't get into a new relationship for several months because a) I had a hard time trusting that I wouldn't go through the same pain and b) I needed some time to heal. That was the plan, at least. I got a text from a guy who I have known for 11 years saying he'd love to meet up since he was in town visiting his dad. He moved to San Francisco and I moved to Huntington Beach, so we hadn't talked in about 3 years. With absolutely no intention of anything happening, I agreed to having lunch downtown.
"Damn he looks good."
That's the exact thought I had as I walked up to him outside the restaurant. I gave him a huge hug and we went inside to get some Mexican food and too many margaritas.
Lunch turned into a 7 hour ordeal where I told him about my recent heartbreak and he told me that he had just gotten out of a relationship as well. We walked together on the beach until it got dark and we both needed to go home.
Now, we had had this kind of relationship before where we flirt, kiss a bit, and then don't talk for a while. Something seemed different this time. In the three years that we spent apart, we had both grown up. I knew I wanted him to stick around this time.
He left town the following day, and we both went on vacation shortly after that. He was in Greece and I was in Hawaii, and somehow we stayed in contact despite the 13 hour time difference. He asked me to go to a wedding with him in the end of May--a request I found presumptuous at the time, but now I am so thrilled that I agreed to.
We are still dating and enjoying every second of it. I actually feel lucky for the distance between us, because I think it prevents us from moving too fast. Still, I cannot help but feel like it is wrong for me to move on so quickly. Yes, my ex broke up with me. Yes, he did so in a not-so-friendly way. Yes, I deserve to be happy. But is it normal to be this happy so soon after a devastating breakup? I have always judged girls like me who jump into a new relationship. I keep trying to talk myself out of it, but I can't. He has made my life better in every way, and there is no reason for me not to pursue this.
I have no idea if this relationship will last forever. I think it is foolish to pretend that we can tell this early on. All I know now is I need to stop judging myself--and others--for finding someone new.