ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH TO DIE FOR YOUR LOVED ONES?

in relationships •  7 years ago 

Do you think you have what it takes?


At times there seems to be a glorification of sacrifice. When a man will step out into the world and literally give his life for his loved ones. I wonder how many of you out there, honestly, would actually take a bullet for your wife or children.

If a train was about to strike your child dead, would you push them off the tracks and place yourself into harm’s way? If someone fired a bullet at your wife, would you jump in front of her and take the hit?

PERHAPS…

I do find it unfortunate that some would not be willing to do so, but it may be even worse that many others would only be willing to die once for their families.

Die once, what do you mean? Let’s face it, to actually take a bullet for someone else or die for them in some other way takes about a split-second of courage. After that, you’re a hero forever, right? Though the rest of your earthly life would be over in an instant, you would actually only have to suffer for a second in the flesh. In the grand scheme of things, that’s actually not that impressive.

Don’t get me wrong, to give up your life once for another human is a noble and virtuous thing, but I think that we can do better than that. Don’t your loved ones deserve more than just one second of putting them first? Don’t they perhaps need a little more than a tiny sliver of time where you chose them over yourself?

WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT PAPA? YOU GOT SOMETHING BETTER?

Honestly, I do think that there is room for improvement. I think that too many guys out there would be willing to die once for their young bride but then will still turn around and divorce that same woman who they would have died for five years down the road. I think that too many fathers would be willing to trade places with their children if it meant saving their young lives, but those same dads aren’t willing to spend more than a few moments a day with those same children.

Yeah, I’m talking about something a little deeper here. You see, “giving up your life doesn’t have to mean death.” Rather than just giving up the next few seconds for someone else and then dying, I’m talking about giving up the next few decades of your life for someone else. You can “give your life” for someone and still remain alive, it just takes a whole lot more effort. You can "die" to yourself daily so the sake of others by putting them first and putting your own selfish desires second.

YOU MAY NOT BE AS IMPORTANT AS YOU THINK

A selfish man alone in the world will remain just that, selfish and alone. He would have to deny his own desires too much to have a lasting relationship with a woman, and he would have to give up too much of his own ways to raise children.

Unfortunately, too many people wind up with spouses and children, and yet remain extremely selfish. This is why a lot of relationships do not work. The people in those relationships care a whole lot more about themselves than they do the other person.

I’d rather not just give @mama-pepper whatever love I have left after I’m done loving myself. I’d rather not give her whatever time is left after I’ve spent all day doing whatever I wanted to do. I’d basically be in a relationship with myself, and my wife would be along for the ride.

You see, to actually make a relationship work, you may have to put the other person first for more than a split-second. Yeah, and after you put them before yourself and prioritized their needs, wants, or desires above your own, you will still be alive, and mat get to do it all over again tomorrow, or maybe five minutes from now.

COMMITMENT

Not that very many people even get married anymore, but a relationship is a relationship. In marriage certain vows are usually made to show a commitment to the other person. Frequently, “til death do we part” is even thrown in there. Far too often, it seems that this is just done because it “sounds nice” or due to tradition, but I’m not talking about just saying it.

For me, I’ll be the husband of my wife until death, and the same goes for my children; I’ll be their father until I die. I have the freedom to divorce my wife and disown by children when they get old enough, but I don’t have to! I can choose to live a life that blesses and serves them. I can choose to give them all that I have, and not just what I have left. I can give up years of my life for them prior to death, rather than just a few seconds.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Look, none of us know when we are going to die, but we can choose what we do with our lives until then. Perhaps it would be wise to give up more of the life that you are already living for the sake of your family. Perhaps they even need you to.

I think that for far too long people have held the dead in high regard. The man who pushes his daughter out of traffic and gets killed instead certainly did do a good thing, make no mistake about it. However, the man who chose to put the lives of his children above his own for 20 years while he was raising them may have actually given up more of his life.

I don’t want to come off as condemning anyone here, but rather exhorting others. I think that we can all do a better job, and I think that our families deserve it. We may not get to choose to die for our loved ones, but we can choose to live for them. Let’s make sure to set an unselfish example for that next generation too, or we may just be setting them up for failure when it comes to their relationships and families.

In closing, I’ll leave you with two questions to ponder:

  • Are you man enough to die for your loved ones?
  • Are you man enough to live for your loved ones?

Until next time…

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You are a good man papa-pepper!

And i applaud your comparison between be willing to die-once -- but not being willing to give your whole life for your family. I am inspired and uplifted, and, rewarded by your post for feeling exactly the same way.

It's about one's time, and one's attention as a parent. Sometimes the wee ones just want you to be there, and that goes for one's partner too.

Solipsism (look it up), is the easy belief that one's own consciousness is the centre of the Universe -- and it seriously takes some thought to break free of, 'cause it's animal nature...

I could blab for ages and wind up just repeating what papa said. So i just want to say YES! This is what a good parent, partner and healthy in mind and spirit man does for his family every time. Not just once in hypothesis.

Cheers papa! You're walking the walk!

Glad to read that response. Thank you for that @thedamus!

You post brought this Bible verse to mind. Thanks for bearing your heart @papa-pepper!

Ephesians 5:25 KJVS
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

That is a very applicable verse, thanks man.

@papa-pepper
I've actually thought about this a lot in regards to @cathi-xx, since she is the best thing that ever happened to me, but that wouldn't stop me from tripping her in a zombie apocalypse for a chance to get away from the hoard.

I don't have to be the fastest in the zombie apocalypse, I just have to be faster than @cathi-xx.

Nobody tell her I wrote this, because I would like it to be an end-of-the-world-surprise :)

So what you are saying is that you are Shane from The Walking Dead and I'm the fat, bald, old dude, Otis?

Guys!
Who spoiled the surprise?

...And yes!
That's exactly what I'm saying, I hope this isn't a deal breaker.

Hmm, missing the bigger picture much? Re: who is gonna carry all your supplies for you in the papalips? You might want to consider tripping up a , 'B' actor.

I was planning on eating the b-actors with those roasted potatoes and gravy that you make, but I guess we could trip one or two of them, for the sake of my luggage :)

You hate pork! Surely you realise that roasted, 'B' actor tastes exactly like pork. *smh

I had no idea, but I like bacon, so could we carve off their bacon before tripping them, you know, for bacon sandwiches?

Now you are just being silly! No way I'm eating syphilitic, 'B' actor sandwiches!

I could try to get you some A-listers for dinner, but sadly, I think it will probably be slim pickin's during the apocalypse.

We are the A-listers in our lives! The 'B' actors are everyone who isn't family and friends.
Cannibalism is off the menu, permanently,even in a papalips and that includes the dog!

You may feel comfortable doing such a thing to @cathi-xx, but surely you wouldn't do something like that to me, would you?

Ummm... Well I do like the taste of peppery bacon and getting away from zombies!

The reality would be me giving him a piggy back while he thrashed-out wildly at walkers yelling, "giddy-up horsey."

Why does this sound so awesome?

This indeed was very deep and meaningful. So I voted with 100 per cent although it's my vote is not worth much.

Thank you for that!

a man who now replaces my father. keep me wholeheartedly, let alone we will add one more small man who will soon add to the completeness of our small family. thank you for the motivation and the touching story @papa-pepper

You are welcome.

Why to set such questions?

I think spouses and parents can do a better job than they are.

It is why I started working from home and started home schooling my kids. I needed to one make sure they had the best education possible but two they are my kids my responsibility to educate not anyone else.

Marriage is very hard work, but when two people love each other and communicate and put each other first. Marriage can been successful, but it is a choice every day that we make. I have been married twice, the first marriage didn't work because we were both selfish and didn't communicate. I learned a lot in that marriage on what not to do.

This time around things are good, we communicate and put each other first. We been married now nearly 16 years and I know this time I am married till death do us part. And without a doubt I would die for all my kids, my grandbabies and or my husband many times over, if it meant keeping them safe and alive

Great attitude to have as a wife and mother! Your family is truly blessed because of you, and congrats on almost 16 already!

thanks it has been hard work but so worth it, can't image my life without him even when he is being difficult I would rather be mad at him sometimes then live life without him.

Yes she has been trying to kill me off for years, she keeps me locked in the basement and feeds me cat food...lol Love you baby :)

Canned cat food? I've eaten that before.

he don't quit telling people this I am gonna bury him up to his neck in the back yard and let the dogs out to go pee. lol

spouses that laugh together and tease each other have fun together

This is a fantastic and much-needed reminder.

My father did our wedding ceremony and one of the things he felt was most important to tell my husband and I was that we had to be willing to die for each other in what he called "a thousand small ways every day". To give up self, because that's the kind of death that brings the most life and is so often overlooked. I remember that when I have small children climbing into bed with me at what feels like the crack of dawn after a difficult night's sleep and they want my attention...and breakfast.

Dying to self constantly takes a whole lot more staying power and love than even that split second when choosing to put yourself in harm's way to save someone else.

Except a corn of wheat die, it abideth alone...

And I wonder often...why does some seed in the soil produce 30, some 60 and some 100-fold?

Not a popular idea...but it's not all equal. Those thousand deaths every day MUST be completed or the harvest diminishes slightly even when there is a harvest.

Yup, If it dies, it brings forth much fruit.

I'm surprised you didn't mention our active duty military and veterans who have put their lives on the line not just once and not just for their family, but every day of their service and for every American. After all this sacrifice, our service members rarely get the credit they deserve. We face our own challenges reintegrating into society and often find a negative attitude from these people we swore to protect. Are you man enough to die for your country?

My focus was not actually dying for others, but living for them, within the context of a family.

The military was beyond the scope of my focus here.

Die for a country that obviously lies to the people about reasons for military action?
No.

I guess that doesn't make me a man, huh?

Except, I feel this way because that is EXACTLY what happened to me and everyone else who served for the last 70 plus years. They recruit naive kids out of highschool. Train them to kill. Send them to war. And pay them enough to not care. And keeps them inline by threatening them. I'd say it takes more of a man to say NO to the machine before you end up being just another body on its gears.

Cheers.

I highly appreciate your sentiments. I guess it was more of a family oriented post by @papa-pepper Just sharing my opinion. I'm sure he can better answer your question.

Although I am not an American, if you swore for the protection of American humans, thank you for your service, Sir!

#family - you were correct.

I was at one time...

So, this actually made me cry. Lovely post. Acts of sacrificing ones own's desires for others are not honoured enough. Neither is simply giving someone our time.

A very good post, @papa-pepper! It is thought to provoke for both men and women. It takes two to make a relationship work. Selfishness works both ways. When I married my husband 40 years ago it was with the intent that we would work together to build on the relationship and with however children, we may have. Relationships take commitment. That's a tough word in today's society. My husband and I have made many sacrifices over the years for the good of the relationship and that of our children, and now the grandchildren. It comes down to love and respect. There is no doubt i my mind that either of us have laid down our lives for each other and our family. Give the dead the respect they have earned. Not everyone is a saint.

It does come down to love and respect. 40 years of marriage can testify to two people both laying down their lives, all life long. Very good point, and congratulations.

That was some meaningful stuff there papa-pepper, I was hooked on your every word. I would definitely die for my kids, but your post has made me realize that I need to spend more time with my loved ones. I like to think I am a good father, but you have encouraged me to do even more 😁 thanks pappa p for your wise wakeup call. Peace out from @crypto-expo

Glad to hear it. Just trying to encourage others! Thanks!

To many they will see this posting and not be able to grasp the "God" ways of it and will be left wondering the how and why you posted it, me I expected it to surface... Over the many years I have seen just a few special men (and women) who grasp the full impact of living and dying for their families and the depth of God shows clear and bright in them, this does not remove the human but enhances the soul of man to be brought up to the level God wants them so they can make a difference in all around them.
I am sharing this for those to perhaps get a grip on just what God wants from us all... Well done faithful servant...

Good point. It is a precious understanding to have, and without Him, I would be oblivious to it.

And by the same token, so many think that by giving 50/50 to a relationship, that they are doing their part. Unless you give 100% and your spouse gives 100% - then you are only giving half of yourself to the relationship.

Play it @papa-pepper! tip!

Upped and Steemed

Excellent statement! Thanks for adding that!

Thank you for your everyday wisdom and thoughts.

Looking at your posts occasionally made me wonder what kind of a person you would be at heart, just got to know.

Yes, I agree with what you said. I'm not as experienced as you are in life. However, I do believe that literally dying for somebody would definitely show how much you love them, but it won't let them feel that love everyday. That is only possible when you love them everyday, and love them more than you loved them the previous day. I just got into a relationship a few months ago. I know (or at least I think I know) what matters the most when it comes to showing love and respect to your partner. Spending time with them, letting them feel important, living for them, changing for them, sacrificing your wants for them, praising them for what they are, think 'with' them together. All of it makes it perfect.

There are hiccups for sure, when you think you're not getting the reciprocation of what you're doing for them. That's the most crucial part I guess. That's where you need yourself the most. You spend some time with yourself and let yourselves know that you're doing the right thing. That belief makes everything look better. You start thinking positively. Things start making sense.

Thanks for showing the deeper side of you.

Thank you for taking the time to read it.

Well said. Too many go into marriage unwilling to make that sacrifice.

I agree.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Hmm I would say yes, but as we say in my country...take a big bite (of food), never say big words..

good post

Now that's a post and inspirational read for anyone.

Thank you for letting me know.

''How about to live for them?''

Just what I needed to hear this morning. Thank you for inviting me to go deep with you, and imagine the best of myself that I can give to my family each day. 👪 It's not presents 🎁 they want from me. It's my presence. So instead of grinding away in my business hustle all day, I'll prioritize that game of Hide and Seek my little ones have been asking for. This kind of daily sacrifice doesn't make a man a martyr, but it might make him a rad daddy, and that's what I'm aiming for. :)

Hide and Seek it is! Good choice!

What an awesome post. Thank you I know my son and husband are one of those men who care a lot for their family, it is so important for us as mothers and wifes to know this.

Thank you @bigbear!

great post, and very true.
I had a rant about something along similar lines(parts of it). You might enjoy it !

https://steemit.com/blog/@patriotwargamer/freedom-isn-t-free-grow-a-pair-ffs

Amazing post, lots of science I have to learn from you :) @papa-pepper

look at my blog :) because I just joined in steemit, please vote and resteemit :)

https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@nebbila/introducemyself-hello-stemian-my-name-is-nebbila-2017912t18422274z

nice post amazing contents
your vote is important for me @deshwal

Exactly ...we always give a second thought when such situation arises ..it is easy for us to make commitments and make promises but difficult to execute.

Not sure I would give my life for a loved one. Not even my mom. However when I was younger I volunteered to give it for my country in the Army... even under fire. I am glad it didn't come that cause I would have hated to cash that check. But honestly since then I've come to value my life.. I don't have any children of my own so really there is no person I would even consider giving what's left of my life for... and to think of doing that for either of my ex wives (even when I was with them)... Well let's just quote Mr T here... Pity da fool

Love your wisdom and insight. You mentioned sacrificing for family so Im curious to know how you think this relates to a situation where a man has been seriously burned out to the point of extreme depression and fatigue. For example this has happened to me and is something I still deal with although things are slightly improving. Burn out has literally changed who I am and how I go about things. This is a tragedy. So I've been really trying to understand as a believer how to navigate this while leading a family. This impacts not only me but my family as well and it hurts them just as much as it does me.
Having to carry much of the financial responsibility while going through feels so much like mental and physical slavery to the point of me many times having suicidal thoughts. My wife admits that I am not the same person anymore and this truly hurts because I know that is not my intention becuase I love her and my daughter so much. I really don't know what to do. Just seeing if you had some godly wisdom for me.

I will be driving for the next couple of hours, but I will get back to you later today. Thank you for being so open and honest, Brother.

Are you available on steemit.chat?

Yes I'm @humanearl

Cool, I'm papa-pepper. I'll get with you there.

Good one...very thoughtful...and truth to be told...i think the same too @papa-pepper

Is that one of the Little-peppers at the Tomb-Stone? She looks scared i think...

She was posing for an emotional photo, and she did great!

She's one lil SuperModel😎

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

I dnt know about others but i know my husband....i can feel his devotion towards me...when we two use to walk road side ,sometime in busy road ,if i were in the first he always take me in left of him so that he get the
acccident first....that time my heart shrink... realy carefull one...

To be honest. I will answer straight @papa-pepper and I will not hesitate to say this.
I love my family. My wife my children especially my little girl. But I will love first my God and to serve him every minute of my life then the other things. God can give us everything. Even a good wife or husband and a good children. But our wife or friends can not save our espirit. But litterally for our needs they can give us happiness by means of God.
what ever I explain. It will goes to God. I drink, eat, and walk by faith. Everything by faith. I always bond this 3. Faith, hope and the greatiest is Love... I hope my spelling is right.
Thanks @papa-pepper

If God is first, then you will love them as you should, and prove it by your daily life. Glad to hear it!

thanks, @papa-pepper... But to be honest, It's really scary the title of your article! (ARE YOU MAN ENOUGH TO DIE FOR YOUR LOVED ONES?) Hehehe...

Hey, I got your message, but steemit.chat is not letting me respond. Don't know how else to contact you. Email me from my contact page on my website.

I like what you have to say.

Thanks!

Straight from the heart, thank you for that read.

Thanks for the reading!

Fuck yeah I am!

this story makes me, sad. How do you write it? Do you not sad? against writing
You are. I salute I do not know what to say what else.

I hear that once you have children you whole world changes and you will literally do anything to protect them! I don't know if I would die for anyone at this point, but I think I have the capacity to, in the future!

I am glad to hear that you are thinking that way towards the future!

Awesome!....this is really deep and aptly captures what the bible says in Ephesians 5:25.....you don't necessarily have to die the physical death for your loved ones,country or humanity....but you must essentially make a commitment to emptying yourself of whatever resource(s) within your entire capacity to make sure they fulfil destiny.....the resource(s) include but not limited to your money(provision),time(i.e your presence emotionally,psychologically,spiritually etc).....now,in all honesty,this demands great sacrifice but it is worth it......that really is true essence of life and therein lies fulfilment!.

Very true!

@papa-pepper Wow, that is certainly so wonderful. I'm quite grateful for that! Find it irresistible. Resteemed.

His message is very edifying, that this text reaches everyone, and that we can really reflect this act of renouncing ourselves and being more supportive of one another. Only those who really love give their lives for someone else. Society is very impulsive in today's world, they go over whoever it is to get what they want. The principles of values have been corrupted, seeing that the other needs you more than you do is difficult, the selfishness of the person does not allow it.

Congratulations on the publication of this article, very deep!

Thank you very much for such an honest comment. I appreciate it!

I rather be the one having what I have disease now than my loved ones.
That's what I am believing because it is such a misery for me now that I know how it feels to get this kind of condition.
It will be unbearable for me to see them like this.

It is terrible that anyone has to, but you have a good attitude about that part.

Great disscusion! It means the post realy has something to say! Thank you papa pepper, you made me think!

I am glad to hear it. Thanks @belahejna!

Well said very well said. Unfortunately I not found the right one yet. I am looking forward to having children but running out of time. Past life decision have cause this i know but they have made me who I am today. Better to regret something you have one than somthing you haven’t :)

Thanks you, and I am glad that you can appreciate what I have shared.

I might not be understanding this correctly. But I am getting biblical referrences from this post. Which is a good thing. People are self centered now a day it seems. We need to be able to put our loved ones needs before ourself. But if I am wrong just say so.

Nope, no misunderstanding, you got the point.

This post must hit 1000 views. Very nice .

Thank you for that. Hopefully it will.

Still have many things to do in life, right @papapepper

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

So deeeeep! Here's a thing @papa-pepper, my father is an agriculturist but he choose not to engage in employment and instead give his life to our family serving my mother (she's a public teacher), managing our farm, cooking for us, doing the laundry, fetching us in school during my school days etc., but still didn't get the deserving appreciation. Instead he is being underestimated by some of my relatives and I just hate it.

If your relatives have chosen to live differently, then perhaps it is easier to dismiss what your father is doing than consider what they are doing.

They are not in the place to intervene in our life anyway :)

Good point.

I would give my life for any member of my family, especially my daughter is not logical? but if the family is undoubtedly the most important thing in the world, siemrpe will be there for you in the good and bad moments, supporting you and giving you the strength to get ahead, they are a great push to achieve everything that you propose in life and of course I would give my life for them because I love them and they are the best thing that exists in my life.

regards @papa-pepper

I agree, siempre para mi familia!

the family should always be first in our life, is the most important.

greetings, my friend

This post has been ranked within the top 10 most undervalued posts in the second half of Sep 12. We estimate that this post is undervalued by $61.64 as compared to a scenario in which every voter had an equal say.

See the full rankings and details in The Daily Tribune: Sep 12 - Part II. You can also read about some of our methodology, data analysis and technical details in our initial post.

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As a single dad I truly respect this post.

Wonderful job man.

You too!

Wow, thanks for putting this out there. I have been married to my wife for 22 years, I feel very strongly about till death to us apart. How true of a post. I have always tried to be a giver whether it is time or gifts, i love to see the look on people's faces when you do something extra or give something extra, my kids and my wife are my life, they are what makes me tick and get up every morning. I wouldn't take all the money in the world for that. My kids are me they are what I mold them to be and that my friend takes time, time well spent. Thanks for the post, very awesome feeling. Time is most expensive gift you can give.

What an excellent reply. Glad to hear it man!

Congratulations @papa-pepper!
Your post was mentioned in the hit parade in the following categories:

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Wow Brother, spoken like a true father/husband. I admire you, I already knew this is who you are but its great to see these words.

I speak every day to parents and say similar things. If you really care about your family then BE WITH them not just buy them stuff.

I love seeing you with your family every day. I am sure your children will be shining examples of human beings and will inspire and educate many people on life important matters.

Blessings Brother~*~

Golden truths, @papa-pepper. I believe you are raising a lot of your children online, I choose to be one. Selfishness is a cancer that eats away the fulfillment of the selfish, for fulfillment comes only when we truly deny self for the sake of others.

I believe you are raising a lot of your children online, I choose to be one.

Wow! What a statement to make.

Very nice post! I could choose to dissect the message but I don't think that was the purpose of this. I get the point. In my opinion both husband and wife should submit to each other, protect each other, and respect each other. Clear as mud :) Best wishes. - @splendorhub

Thanks for that! I appreciate it!

You really had me fooled there! I was going to comment with the same words you used in closing:
Are you man enough to live for your loved ones?
But as I read, I realized we have the same view on this subject. It is a much bigger sacrifice to put others before you, on a day-to-day basis. But the thing is, I think, that we're basically really selfish and concerned with getting our own wants and needs dealt with. It's not out of a lack of love for others, but a greater love for ourselves.
In theory, of course we'd die for our child or spouse, but that's in theory. IF and WHEN the day comes, sure; but until then, we tend to take our loved ones for granted. I can afford not to spend time with them, they'll still be there tomorrow, I'll do it then.
If our life, complete with hopes and dreams and wants, can be let go of in a split second if it saves theirs, why do we care so little for their hopes and dreams when there's no gun to our heads? Does it really take such a fatal situation to get us to care more for others than for ourselves?
Excellent post, @papa-pepper! Really great, it was a pleasure to read. Resteeming.

Halfway down this page, I gave up. From what was an interesting and lively debate, it degenerated, as I often see nowadays, into spiteful comments that searched for ways to insult, denigrate (belittle) and hurt the others.

I know that many men are bitter, for the feminist movement has stopped trying to benefit women, but instead is devoted to destroying men, even if it means the lives of women and children are also destroyed.

I found it interesting, up to there where I read, that nobody mentioned the old-fashioned idea that a man and a woman (I tend to include the kids in this, once they are over 10y)are meant to be a team.

I know Americans love football, so use one of the teams as an example. Is one team member only valuable to the team, or do they all have a role to play? Yes, men are called to war more often, but that is not just because of theories, but because the woman is meant to be the nurturer (in the old days, how many times did we hear of the women fighting and struggling to find ways to hold the family together when the husband lost his job or was sent to war). Unfortunately that line (of partnership) is becoming more and more blurred as women work and have careers important to them.

Another comment I noticed, spoke of how the debate is being extended into too many lines. I hope that once people get over the excitement of being in this environment, fluttering like butterflies for brief sips of nectar and then fly on, in hopes of discovering new fields of nectar, they return to wanting articles, poems and stories to be longer and create something meaty we can get our teeth into. I personally hate seeing novels being cut up into thin slivers of 3 to 5 pages, making it impossible for me to lose myself in the story and identify with the characters. Why should I care, if I do not get into their hearts and souls?