Starting over again. Not only had I become overly content and taken the relationship for granted, I had also neglected myself, never worked out, rarely bought new clothes, scruffy 5 day beard growth, etc. That is the danger in becoming unhealthily content. You stop trying to impress. I provided necessities was not that enough? No it is not! As I live today I can attest to the fact that once you begin to transverse the slippery slope of complacency it will eventually lead to snuffing out the flame that once burned with a brilliance within you and kept you busy seeking out ways to keep her interested in you. Keeping her interest perked should be our number one priority for as long as we shall draw a breath.
Remedy Path: I knew that I needed to get back into shape, physically and emotionally. I was, and probably still am a wreck of a man. but I am working on it, one cannot expect results over night, I am a work in progress. Number one stop neglecting myself. about a month ago or so, I started working out with some 5 pound hand weights that my ex did not take with her when she left, I needed something to help forget the pain I was feeling. 5 pounds is really not much, but I had developed a routine that works out a lot of upper body muscles doing 150 to 200 reps. That is when 5 pounds begins to feel like 20. I run though the routine I have developed several times over the day. I have since picked up a set of dumbbells and keep them in my living room and every time I pass them or get off the couch for whatever reason, I pick them up and do some reps. It is already becoming a habit and I find myself laying in bed or something like that, decide to go for a drink of water, just so I can do some reps. I am starting to notice a difference. My work is somewhat physical, but not really especially so, but I have noticed that I can handle shifting heavy things with a bit more ease. Additionally my muscle definition is becoming more noticeable. I am a veteran, and being a vet I had made it though basic training AKA Boot Camp. The Drill Sergeants smoked us every chance they could. They would work us to the point of muscle fatigue and once obtained work another muscle group in a seemingly endless variety of exercises. Hop, squat,jump, push, pull and crawl dragging your helmet on the ground and yes your wearing that helmet. These lessons were imprinted on our collective brains, at least it was for me. There was not a day in Basic that I did not ask myself "what have I done!". Sure I was in pretty good shape before entering basic training, I was a competitive long distance runner and BMX rider. But never was I worked to the extent those sadistic Drills drove us. I went to basic training in Texas during the summer, it was hot enough to make the polish on your spit shined boots to bubble, and that is not an exaggeration. I was astonished when I first saw it. I am telling you this as a lead up to what follows here. On one particular day, because they found a speck of lint in the clothes drier, as if they needed a reason, they had our platoon of 40 guys march onto a empty barracks building, no furniture, just the 12 x 12 tiles and a horrible bright green painted walls. I have only ever seen that color in government buildings. It is so ugly no one else would have it. When we were all inside, they closed the windows and shut down the air conditioners. remember it is hot enough outside to boil boot polish and will soon be hotter in that room. They commenced barking orders, "drop and pound you face until I get tired of watching you", in other words do push ups till you cannot do them anymore, and then do some more. Without rest they ran us through their gambit of muscle failure exercises. Time was lost on us, who knows how long this went on, and we really did not care, we just wanted it to end. By the time we were done there was an eighth of an inch of sweat on the floor. Crazy right? The good old days. Anyways, I have brought up that training from eons ago and have begun to implement it into my own routine. I just cannot be as harsh on myself as the Drills were, yet. If ever. I use the muscle fatigue method, which really doesn't take much at the moments. Where the Drills seemed to thrive on making us pound our face every 5 minutes, I have decided to pound my face every hour our two during my wake hours. Day by day I become a little better than the day before.