The quality of our personal relationships has a direct impact on our mental health and personal well-being.
The closer we are to the people we care about, the happier we are and the more personal satisfaction we have in our lives. Most people consider their most important life experiences to be moments of connection and shared enjoyment with their loved ones.
These important relationships include not only family and personal friends, but also larger groups and communities to which we belong. Making connections and developing a sense of community with coworkers, neighbors, and the various groups that comprise our identity (such as sports, hobbies, religious, and community groups) all contribute to our well-being. Developing a sense of belonging with other people around a common mission or identity is a significant contributor to our sense of personal meaning in life.
Creating and maintaining happy personal relationships and belonging to positive communities, on the other hand, is not easy. We may begin with a loving, supportive relationship with a partner, but inattention, neglect, and stressful life events can all lead to relationship conflict and breakdown. At this point, the relationship, instead of being a source of happiness and well-being, becomes a source of stress and dissatisfaction.
Taking care of important relationships
The two most difficult challenges in maintaining close personal relationships are neglect (e.g., not investing time in the relationship) and failing to deal constructively with conflict (thus letting problems fester until they are out of control). Being proactive in your personal relationships and attending to them (even when you don't feel like it) is the key to keeping them happy, supportive, and personally satisfying.
– Take time:
Make time to spend with your partner, children, family, and friends on a regular basis. It is best to have one-on-one relaxed time when you have plenty of space to chat and have fun together.
– Be present:
In our hectic lives, one of the most difficult challenges is simply not being present with those we care about. Whether it's being distracted or checking email while they're talking, or being preoccupied with worries or stress that you're not there for them.
– Show appreciation:
Showing appreciation on a regular basis strengthens relationships. Everyone needs to be appreciated and nurtured in close relationships, whether it is simply kind words of thanks to an important colleague, a gift to an important friend, affection with your partner, or a reassuring hug for a child.
– Listen:
The most important communication skill is listening. Taking the time to understand the other person's point of view is essential for connecting with them, and it is especially important as the first step in conflict resolution.
– Learn to communicate:
Relationships suffer when one person does not communicate about their needs and important issues, or when they do, they do so in an aggressive, explosive, or disrespectful manner. The second most important communication skill is the ability to speak respectfully and assertively.
– Apologize and forgive:
Disappointment and hurt will occur in all close relationships at some point. Taking responsibility and apologizing when you have hurt someone, as well as moving on and forgiving when you have been hurt, are essential for sustaining relationships during difficult times.
Having a 'we' feeling is a sign of successful belonging regulation in relationships. “With you, I am at home!”. This expresses well the fulfillment of this need in relationship. In contrast, some people in a relationship have (and this can be difficult to understand) a sense of strangeness, of not being quite at home, and of not speaking the same language.
"I found that when I met the right person, the world turned around."