The Cheap-Ass Gaming Garbage Man Reviews: Lords of the Fallen

in review •  7 years ago 

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The fight has been going on for more than a minute. We danced around each other, my sword and shield against a behemoth's chipped two-handed sword. I put my shield up as fast as I could, but the monster was too quick. With a heaving downward swing, he finishes off the last bit off health before I could finish his.

I curse the screen and hit the button to start at my last checkpoint. This fucker just erased the past 30 minutes of progress. I had gotten too greedy and went too far. Now I had only one choice; To get back to where I died and send this motherfucker back to hell!

This is Lords of the Fallen, the Dark Souls clone set with vikings and knights, gods and demons, and you are the only one that can stop the madness spilling out into this fantasy world.

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Gameplay:

The combat is the real reason I came here. I got so fucking sick of those story-driven puzzlers that I had been playing lately that I needed a challenge.

I wanted something I would die on. And this game provides so much death that it becomes rare and glorious when you survive each encounter.

The controls are tight and quick, though factors such as armor weight and weapon size do play a role in how responsive your character is.

The visuals feature grand vistas and cluttered towers in between your usual catacomb/ruins/arena settings.

It’s a treat for the eyes and the ears are imbued with eery music, painful groans, and some of the best wind FX I’ve heard since Unreal.

By the end I was wearing all medium armor with a buckler shield and a scythe as a weapon. It can get pretty fucking cool in the armor customization and rune enhancements for certain items. The number of options you have to defeat a tricky boss or move quickly through a level you’ve gone through dozens of times impressed me all the way to the final scene.

RPG:

Leveling up is more of a stat game than a choice of skills. You can choose between four skills dependent on which of the three classes you select.

The rest of your exp get dumped into your typical stats of strength, luck, blah blah blah.

Not that deep or inventive, but it gets the job done and makes you feel like you’re really getting better in the game, when all that happened is that you boosted your stats and wore better armor.

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Story:

Playing as an outcast prisoner given a second chance at not only redeeming himself, but all of mankind, you set out to destroy all the Rhogar lords casting their blight upon the land.

But nothing is ever as simple as just bad guys/ good guys and shit keeps revealing itself. And the only solution is to kill, kill, kill.

The story is pretty cut and dry, nothing really memorable except for that giant fucking hand that comes out of nowhere and is never really resolved. Maybe you stopped it from rising all the way?

I don’t know, it felt like they were going for a God of War-style final boss battle, but probably realized that wouldn’t be a good ending for a game set around skill and timing.

It’d be like a sudden cart racing level came out of nowhere and made you drive a skeleton cartwheel around the cathedral or some stupid shit like that.

Replay:

Plenty. After beating the game, you can start over with all your stats and pick a new class to add to the one you already mastered.

It is much easier, but it gives you a way to round out your achievements and see if the two or three in-game choices create a different story.

Spoiler: not really.

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Rating:

4 out of 5. Surprisingly deep and challenging, don’t let your first 50 deaths put you off.

This is hard, yes. It is supposed to be. But by the end, when your hitting achievements that less than 2% of players had gotten to, you start to feel like a lord yourself.

In fact, everyone will address me as Sir Garbage Man, got it?

Good. Now go out and pick this up. It should be cheap as fuck and a fine game to complete.

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