When I first heard about this right from my teacher, I thought I understand what it means, not until today.
Normally, when we are facing a stress impulse, say being scolded about something but you are in reality not guilty of the offense, normally what we do is to deny it and protect our selves. It's our defense mechanism. It's innate to oneself to respond and to protect oneself from harm.
Inorder to set yourself out from trouble and make things worse , better say this things to the accuser:
- ** I never did it** . Deny it in the first place. Talk out straight. Say it face to face and eye to eye. This phrase is very essential. When you are really certain that you never did an offense , and you let it all out , your words will reach the accuser . But be careful, when you are really are guilty, your mind becomes preoccupied what to say and your action becomes compromised and your composure fails. But when you said the phrase with composure and confidence, it will render the accuser doubtful of his words and actions.
- You are a great person, but it appear to me that you are misinterpreting things. Defend yourself in a calm and gentle manner. Never repay a slander or libel with the same offense. It will only make things worse. Let him/her understand. If you are valuing your friendship , better resolve it in a peaceful manner. You should better talk head-on, rather than talking behind his back. It will not only ruin your friendship, but also the people around as well.
- Hear me out. If things becomes confusing, and voices are like shouting. It will never resolve things. Always, give time to your enemy the time to explain. Hear him/her out. You wouldn't know the point of his argument if never listen to what he/she say. Likewise, if the accuser came rattling about random things, you better talk to her in every argument . Tell him/her that you are offended, tell him/her your side. Point of views are powerful, you really never know what it feels like to be on the other side of the river.
- I'm sorry and I forgive you. Always forgive if you offended him/her. Always accept apology. That will patch things up.
It is always our right to defend ourselves when we are on the right side, but also, when responding on this things, we should always act in the way that we our doing it properly - not for vengeance.
When we are guilty and wrong, better prepare yourself from a mouthful of words and give an apology.
Maybe my teacher put his/her personal touches and modified the qoute from mark twain!