It was 2:14am and Merit sighed as she turned again. The light from the streetlamp outside cast a dim glow into her room. "Why can't I sleep?" she asked herself. But she was ignoring the answer; she knew what it was. You see, Merit wasn't sad or in trouble. Well, maybe she was getting in trouble, she thought. Why did Fantino say that earlier?
Fantino was her course mate in The Cookery School there in Daylesford, Cotswolds, England. They had been friends for a while. It all started when she thought she was the first to class at the beginning of the year. A fine autumn morning with cool breeze and fire-hued foliage. She had always been the perfect A-student and a good daughter, never got in any trouble, leading an easy, quiet life she intended to keep that way, and all was as usual until she opened the door of the classroom and saw this huge, bearded man with broad shoulders, pale skin, and very black hair, sitting in the first row, close to the window and staring outside as dry leaves gently blew by. He smiled lightly with his thick eyebrows behind his thin-rimmed glasses. Her 10-year streak of getting to class first, down the drain... She sucked it up, replied "Good morning", and sat at the other end of the row behind him.
They would eventually be assigned to the same group to work in class on numerous occasions and after a few times, they both realized they preferred to be on the same team. Fantino was quick to understand and act, Merit listened keenly and was meticulous. Soon they began discussing assignments before class and they were never able to finish before the classes started, so after some weeks, they started studying together.
The months passed smoothly, and Merit was living the dream there in culinary school. Mum and Dad called every other evening. Sometimes she felt she was getting too old to be called so frequently, but she loved her parents. They were her family, and she was glad they were happy with her, which they showed, by asking of her wellbeing, encouraging her to find the nearest mosque, say her daily prayers, warning her to beware of boys, sending packages with snacks to share with her friends a few times, and of course, prayers for her. Fantino never seemed to mind the times whenever they were together that she would spend at least 30 minutes talking to different family members, but that didn't stop her from apologizing, then he would reply in his Sicilian language, "Futtitinni", which from the first time he said it she knew meant "No problem". After months, she only saw him make a call once, to his Nonie (Grandma). She sounded so happy, and Merit smiled as she could tell they really loved each other. She afterwards told him that he must call her more often and he assured her that he was doing that.
She needed to make sure her grades were immaculate as she was there on a scholarship, so she worked hard. Sometimes, she would doze off while they studied, then Fantino would help pack her things and bid her return to the dormitory.
There was a short holiday break at the end of the year which they spent with some other international students who stayed back for economic and practical reasons. They passed the time practicing what they had learned so far, going on a few excursions too and Merit always retired early as she wasn't used to staying up so late. Fantino would then escort her to the bus or cab to her flat. On New Year's Eve though, she stayed up till midnight enjoying the fireworks and company of her colleagues.
About a week hence, school resumed. The weeks wore on and in time, examinations. They were quite tasking, and everyone felt like they were in a crockpot, slow cooking under the pressure of the demands of perfection their chef instructors were dutifully letting them experience before launching into their respective careers.
Things finally cooled off by summer and everyone travelled back home. Merit was glad to be back in Rakoti, in the comfort of family and fresh seafood. Her younger siblings had a million questions and she wowed everyone with her sharpened cooking skills. However, she usually had that itch that she could have done better as she didn't have access to the array of utensils and equipment back in school. Fantino was having a similar experience over in Ragusa. They kept in touch over the phone throughout that time.
They returned to school months passed as they visited factories and farms, learning so much, and in time, the first year of their master's degree journey was complete.
During that holiday, all was going well until her parents announced one lawyer named Aptel Prwmeniēb who was ten years her senior was asking for her hand in marriage? Alarm bells! "No no no no", she thought. "I'm not ready for this" But look at Dad and Mum, they were smiling. She promised to answer them later. The next morning, her dad surprised her with a visit to the zoo, then lunch at a restaurant. They got coconut ice -cream with wafers, snickers and honey-roasted almonds mixed in too. Merit loved this but that day, it all tasted blander than usual. She got home and saw mum had cooked her favourite, koshary. No one's koshary tasted better than mum's and she could smell basbousa too! "Madonna mia!" she exclaimed. Mum looked at her and Dad said "Ou?", to which she answered "Nothing" and sat. Her three younger brothers were over the moon when they came back from playing football and saw what mum cooked.
In the afternoon of the next Thursday, Merit kept looking away and giving one word or one-line replies, the few times she was given the chance to share her opinion on something. This Mr. Prwmeniēb was significantly older than her, maybe that's why he was having no problem treating her like a child. He didn't seem to care much about any career prospect she had, and he opened up their conversation by stating his endless list of qualifications and achievements. No joking, no actual dialogue, everything was about what he liked and did not like. He did open doors, draw a seat for her and pay the restaurant bills but Merit only ordered a drink, then he insisted she eat and went ahead to order a four-course meal she had to trudge through. She ultimately felt like he was on a date with himself, and she was just an unfortunate observer who was being dragged along.
She quickly blurted out "I can't do it!" on getting home. A look of dismay flashed on mum and dad's face. "Tasheri, are you sure?" mum asked. Merit nodded slowly. "But Merit, he is still young, educated, very successful, and he's a muslim" father added. She looked away and back. Mum took her hands and led her to the couch "There aren't many men like that and alhamdlilah, one just came straight to you, do you really want to give that up? Father sat on the armchair adjacent them "We just want you to be happy and we feel Aptel can take care of you" Merit looked down and feebly said "He can't" "Kha tekhwn?" father asked, he didn't hear her clearly. "He can't make me happy" "Etbe ou?" mother asked with a slight tone of exasperation. "He is arrogant and self-absorbed. He won't listen to me". Mum sighed and the room was quiet for a moment, then Dad said "So the date didn't go well, eh? Merit nodded. He then asked her to recount the experience. After, he said "Ok, you can sleep on it and if your answer is still no by morning, then I will call the Prwmeniēbs. Is that okay?" "Yes papa, tishephmot ntotk" Father smiled, then he went off to his room and mum followed shortly.
Merit felt bad. She phoned Fantino a few times. He didn't pick. But about half an hour later, he called. "Oh!" she exclaimed, grabbing the phone. She told him everything, and he assured her that doing what she knew ensured her happiness was the best thing to do, but she must think about it thoroughly, to ensure she really would be happy in the long run.
Later that night, mum would come into her room with a lamp and sit on the bed. "Merit, you've always been a good daughter. You've never lied to me or your father, so tell me, is there someone else?" "Mmon, there's no one else mau" "Is it Fantino? Do you like him?" Merit felt like someone had just snatched and thrown her blanket on the ground, she sat up. Papa and Mau had only spoken to him a few times. He was supposed to be a friend and colleague, nothing more. "Mmon!, Fantino? Hahaha. He's just my friend and course mate. Absolutely nothing beyond that is going on between us" Mum continued, "I just want to say, he is a good boy, but he is not from the same background, he's not a muslim" Merit sighed "Mau, why are you acting as if I told you and papa, I want to marry him?" "Well, you said you won't marry someone, and now we aren't sure what you want to do. Your secondary school mates are already married. You're still young. Marrying won't stop you from chasing your dreams. Is that what you are worried about?" Merit looked out the window, then at her hands. "That's not what this is about. I want to get married, but I want everything to be perfect" Mother replied, "Not everything in life is so perfect. Sometimes you work on something that's not so good at first, and make it better as time goes on, like a sculptor with a stone. I just want to make sure you aren't passing up a golden opportunity" Merit rubbed her face with both hands and replied "The patient dog gets the fattest bone. Inshallah, a better one will come" Her mum had a slight expression of worry on her face as she placed her hand on Merit's. Merit placed her own hand over it. "Tasheri, you're so confident. May everything be as God has willed" mum concluded. They bid each other a good night and mum retired to her room.
It was a little awkward over the following weeks. Merit couldn't wait to get back to school. She finally did and wanted to hug Fantino when they met but just vigorously shook his hand instead. Everything was back to normal, she was with her friend, with her books and cookery. She didn't have time for romance now. Her career was ahead of her, and she was happy to work with someone as enthusiastic as herself, dear Fantino.
On the Tuesday of the third week back, Merit was introduced to Claire. A blond girl with blue-grey eyes. She was tall, bold, and elegant. Fantino announced that they were dating, and "For some reason I'm surprised", Merit thought, flustered. She raised her hand slowly for a handshake but was pulled into a hug. "It's so nice to meet you" Claire remarked "Likewise" Merit stifled a smile. She had lunch alone that day, and dinner too. Subsequently, she and Fantino began spending less time together. One morning, Shannon, a classmate of hers, had to ask why she kept slamming the fridge shut whenever she took something from it. "Am I doing that? Sorry..." "No no, I'm fine love. I was just wondering if everything's quite right, is all" "Everything's fine, thank you. " She, Shannon, and two other girls she wasn't friends with but had good rapport, went for a girl's night out that weekend. They ate, watched a film, did karaoke and played at an amusement park. She had fun and the next morning she was feeling positive. When Fantino called in the evening, she even asked how Claire was doing. She was fine, she told herself, but she just couldn't shake off a little gnawing feeling that something was not right. She ignored it. Everything else seemed normal for the next two weeks, but Fantino asked a few times if she was sure she was okay. She always answered in the affirmative.
"We broke up" Fantino announced at lunch one day. "What? How? It's only been a month," Merit exclaimed. "Ahh, it's okay. We're just not compatible. Very different...values and personalities" She placed her hand on his worriedly, he chuckled. "Really I'm fine. We didn't spend too long, we found out early, all is good" "Alright" Merit smiled reassuringly. "Let's talk about something fun" "Let's do that", he responded enthusiastically. They discussed their careers and what their dreams were. They didn't want to slave away in someone else's establishment. They were creative and had good chemistry, so it would be great to own a joint business! They excitedly continued. They could start a YouTube channel too!
As the months went by, they refined their ideas and towards their very last exam, they were set to execute their plans. They both decided to visit a popular restaurant to gain some extracurricular knowledge, and on the train back, a lady told them they looked great together without giving them the opportunity to answer after asking if they were a couple. She was part of a group who went to see a football match. A drunk man amongst them even remarked on how he felt they would make "very cute little buggers", and his friend added that they should make sure to have at least fourteen! Merit covered her mouth, saying "Panouti" under her breath, and the whole group burst into laughter. She tried to state they weren't together, but gave up immediately, as it was obvious no one was planning on listening to her. She looked sideways and saw Fantino laughing too! Then what was his reply? Thank you? "Ok Merit, you need to get to your room, right now!" she thought as she pulled her jacket more tightly around herself.
What those folks said played in her head repeatedly. She kept imagining herself pregnant. She shook her head. "Noooo, not Fantino! Why did they have to put that thought in her head? That's how she got to this point where she couldn't fall asleep but eventually, she did. That night, in her dream, she saw herself being pushed on a stretcher. Her belly was swollen up to the ceiling! Then she was in the theater. The doctor wore a head torch and laughed saying "It's a big world in here!" "What?" she replied. Then he began bringing the babies out. Big bird from Sesame Street popped out of nowhere, and began helping him count, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5..." until they got to fourteen! Two nurses helped clean the babies, then polished them until they shone like new rubber. Each one was the size of an adult turkey! All the Muppets and Teletubbies appeared and began running, jumping and somersaulting as they said "Congratulations! Congratulations!" Po brought his face close to hers and said, "We love you!". Then a female voice from speakers just under the ceiling asked the father to come in. The doors slid open and there was Fantino, dressed in 17th century Sicilian attire. "M'amore!" he exclaimed as he sheaths his sword and ran towards her. Just as he was about to embrace her, she awoke... "What a weird dream" she thought, but she chuckled, it was also funny.
Merit always knew she was a petite lady, and Fantino was massive, but that morning he was looking particularly hulking. She felt like she had shrunk in size the previous night. She hoped she hadn't lost any weight and asked him about it as they stood opposite each other in the lift. He assured her she looked fine as always, then suddenly reached to her side. His head seeming to almost touch the ceiling and his wide frame totally covering the wall behind him as he came close. The outline of his developed chest could be seen through his shirt and his musky perfume seemed to enshroud her. Merit's heart rate picked up and she feebly asked, "What are you doing?", as he pressed a floor number button. He looked clueless at first when he stepped back, then sniggered as he checked something on his phone.
While making bread later that day, she watched him knead a lump of dough. His strong forearms lined with veins as they massaged that thick, malleable mixture of flour and liquid. "That thing is getting manhandled" she thought absentmindedly. "No no!" She ran to the bathroom, and looking in the mirror, said, "Merit, you stop that right now, and focus on your class!". She rinsed her face with water and thought to herself "I like Fantino" She rinsed her face harder, then returned to class.
The next day, she decided to tell him that they have to hang out less. She can't allow this to continue. She was getting in trouble, she knew it. What if she couldn't help it at some point. No one would approve of their marriage. "Wait, why am I thinking of marriage now?" She slumped against a wall. She had to do it, now or never. They had a free day and Fantino asked her to see him that evening at one of their spots they hung out in by the garden. 'Ta da!" he exclaimed excitedly as he produced a box. "You've been working very hard, and I know you miss home, so I made you a few Egyptian desserts. Well, I couldn't get my hands on all the ingredients so you can say they are largely inspired by Egyptian desserts haha". "Thank you Fantino, I'm touched " Merit said looking at them. "You're welcome, I had fun. What did you want to talk to me about?" "Nothing!" she shoved a cake in her mouth. "Mmm... this is good" she added. Fantino beamed.
The final examinations came, and their schooling drew to a close. They had both gotten good jobs with the help of their school. They were going to use this to survive and stay afloat while they built their business. During that time, they competed in the Great British Bake-off as a pair and won. Their families were so proud. They both got a flat each on the same street too during that time. Their YouTube channel called The Kitchen Express blew up. The graduation ceremony came and unfortunately, due to COVID restrictions, their families couldn't attend, but tuned in virtually. They were brimming with pride and said prayers on them respectively. In the spirit of merriment, Merit asked Fantino to say hello to her parents and her younger brother Jamoul took over and began asking him questions until Papa had to drive him off. Fantino's family had already talked to her many times, so it was business as usual while they congratulated her.
A few days after, papa and mau talked to her via a Telegram video call. All was well and her friend Fantino was fine. They asked about her other friends, and she said Shannon, Mary and Anna were quite well too. It wasn't a lie, she and Fantino remained friends although they got much closer during lockdown. Each one didn't want to look like they were taking advantage of the fact they were stuck together, so they held themselves back.
Leveraging on their popularity and portfolios, they got a grant worth thousands of pounds. Ascertaining that their business would do well in the US, they chose to kick it off there. They had secured connections and had friends from prior times, getting promotions at work and meeting certain high-society people. Everything was perfect and now they each had to return to their families for a little while to pack their things for the last time before embarking on this journey together. They decided to go on a little holiday in celebration and lodged at a resort. The receptionist assumed they were a couple and began showing them the rooming options for couples. She looked slightly embarrassed and apologized when Merit clarified "We would like to get separate rooms please". "It's okay" they both assured her.
It was loads of fun the next day and Merit followed Fantino to his room before going to hers. She wanted to see if there were any differences and he humored her. Each evening after they both freshened up, she would spend a longer time in his room than she did the last time, before retiring to hers. On the second to the last night, Fantino lay in his pajamas on the bed, reading a book, she walked over to him, snatched the book and threw it to his side. By the fifth time, he warned her not to do it again. She hesitated a bit and then reached for it once more, Fantino grabbed her by the wrist, pulled her forward and pinned her to the bed. Her heart was thumping hard against her chest. He regarded her beautiful face and had never beheld such pure, soulful eyes, deep with longing. All thought gone, he reached down and kissed her again and again, each time more passionate. "Please stop" she said weakly, clutching his shirt. He enveloped her in his powerful arms, and she received him in her delicate warmth. There they lay that night in each other's love for hours as the stars reeled past in the heavens. Fantino looked to the east, and a sweet breeze blew him. He turned his gaze to Merit, as she slept. In that moment, he knew, and it was clear, that he was willing to face an army of ten thousand men for her sake...
GLOSSARY OF COPTIC WORDS
S - Sahidic Coptic, B - Bohairic Coptic, Adj. - Adjective, n. - Noun
ⲙⲉⲣⲓⲧ, Merit (S) (adj./n) - Dear/Beloved
ⲣⲁⲕⲟϯ, Rakoti (B) (n.) - Original name of Alexandria
ⲁⲡⲧⲉⲗ, Aptel - Coptic form of Abdul
ⲡⲣⲱⲙⲉⲛⲓⲏⲃ, Prwmeniēb (S) - ⲡ -the, ⲣⲱⲙⲉ - man, ⲛ - of, ⲓⲏⲃ - Elephantine. The man of Iēb.
ⲟⲩ, Ou (B/S) - What
ⲧⲁϣⲉⲣⲓ, Tasheri (B) - ⲧⲁ - My [For feminine nouns), ϣⲉⲣⲓ - daughter
ϧⲁ ⲧⲉⲕϩⲱⲛ, Kha tekhwn (B) - Pardon/Excuse me
ⲉⲑⲃⲉ ⲟⲩ, Etbe ou (B) - ⲉⲑⲃⲉ -for, ⲟⲩ - what. Why.
ϯϣⲉⲡϩⲙⲟⲧ ⲛⲧⲟⲧⲕ, Tishephmot ntotk (B) - Thank you [To a male)
ⲙⲙⲟⲛ, Mmon (B) - No
ⲙⲁⲩ, Mau {B) - Mother
ⲡⲁⲛⲟⲩⲧⲉ, Panouti (B) - My God
ϫⲁⲙⲟⲩⲗ, Jamoul (B) - Camel