Red Things From Countries I've Never Been To (featuring somesockpuppet as author)

condra (67) in sarcasm • 8 years ago (edited)

I'm 22 and really attractive and I've been a drug addict ever since my alien abduction.

Thanks for the opportunity. I know my account is only a couple of days old so thanks for recognising my talent so quickly.

Here are some things that are red. I hope you like mine writing.

"A rose is a woody perennial flowering plant of the genus Rosa". That's from Wikipedia. I love roses, especially this one. Isn't it romantic?

Strawberries are red. They taste yummy.
Some day I'll post my favourite strawberries-and-cream recipe cos I reckon it will do really well here on Steemit.

I LOVE WHALES!

Here is a list of things I like about strawberries:

They're red
They are so lovely
They look great in photos from pixabay
Strawberries are great

Raspberries are also kinda red.

Here's a poem about raspberries...

Oh want for the rushes,
the idle wind,
glazed, i go forth,
in pink, red blazen haste,
to the raspberries,
where my heart lies
throbbing.

Here's more roses. When I was in Mongolia after my fifth time in rehab, after I escaped from slavery in Tibet, I saw a lake full of roses, just like in this nice picture which I didn't take.

Finally.... Here is a red mushroom. Now pay me.

-- somesockpuppet

DONT FORGET TO FOLLOW AND UPVOTE THIS AMAZING TALENT!!!

All photos from https://pixabay.com/
This post is satirical. It's not aimed at anyone in particular, but is relevant to some of the extra sketchy bullshit going on right now.
Also, don't do drugs, kids.

sarcasm satire writing funny

8 years ago by condra (67)

$61.86

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razvanelulmarin (72) · 8 years ago

at first i was like: "OH DAMN, condra too?!?!"
But then i was like.. :D

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2 votes

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klye (73) · 8 years ago

Rofl. That opening header had me hooked.

Aliens?! Drugs?! Tell me more about this SomeSockPuppet!

Oh wait.. I forgot to mention that @condra may or may not be the somesockpuppet author!

This is GREAT satire. And raises a valid point..

How do we know these "featured artists" aren't shills?!

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4 votes

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gary-smith (52) · 8 years ago

kinda like paid circle-jerking

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bacchist (69) · 8 years ago

This is brilliant.

Except for the part about not doing drugs.

Do drugs, kids. They're a lot of fun, and their dangers are overstated. In fact, you can probably benefit from them and become a more successful person.

For example, take Steve Jobs. He used to do a bunch of acid. And he went on to change the world. If he hadn't done a bunch of acid, he likely wouldn't have had access to the full extent of his creative potential.

Do more acid, children.

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4 votes

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stephmckenzie (62) · 8 years ago

That should be on a bumper sticker.

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reneenouveau (66) · 8 years ago

take all my money! OMG SO LEGIT!

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1 vote

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stephmckenzie (62) · 8 years ago (edited)

Oh my gods, @condra, I almost actually laughed out loud. I definitely smiled. This is absolutely hilarious. I'm a huge fan of Weird Al, and believe it takes great intelligence to do parody and spoof well. You just showed me you've got that talent, dude. Well done!