Start Your Own Crypto Technical Analysis Art Therapy Blog to HARNESS the Ignorance of Herds for Fun and Profit

in satire •  7 years ago 

Technical Analysis Lines.jpg

If you’ve spent an afternoon looking for obscure, meaningless patterns amongst clouds in the sky, or spent time finger painting with a preschooler, these marketable skills can easily translate into a profitable Cryptocurrency Technical Analysis blog.

Use the POWER of lines and Patterns to unleash the duplicity of AUTHORITY

Technical Analysis_King of the World.gif

Drawing technical analysis lines is the art therapy of crashing crypto markets. The focus should squarely reside in creating abstract and irrational coping mechanisms which reinforce irrational speculation. Misery loves company, and everyone needs a bigger fool to unload their losses on. The more your chart is cherry picking abstract imagery from connect-the-dots exercises of ever deteriorating price/volume metrics, the more we help our target audience channel their inner chronic and degenerate gambler dying to validate their naïve trades.

We have the opportunity to become the Sally Struthers of bad trading choices.

Sally Struthers Day Trading Meme.jpg

Listen, everybody has some general understanding about Fibonacci Retracement Lines developed in the first Little Italy pizzeria in Manhattan around 1992 concurrently with the launch of the internet. After all, once you click the button to have them appear in your Poloniex trading browser (right next to the notice about disabled trading wallets and implied insolvency warnings), you become an instant day-trading maven. Basic trading patterns like Fibonacci Retracements earn no street cred in crypto trading.

Be sure to familiarize yourself with some of the more obscure modern-art masterpiece, connect the dots trade patterns to enhance your perceived insightfulness:

  • The Double Yunk Pump and Dump Pattern
  • The Donkey Punch Pattern
  • The Squatty Potty Unicorn Pattern

Use these patterns in conjunction with ratios. Again, the ratios need not have any correlation to our modern art Technical Analysis images whatsoever. They simply have to be “truthy” and somewhat authoritative. Ratios with “truthy” perceived authority for your next Technical Analysis art project might include:

  • Shoe Size/Foot Fungus Outbreaks
  • Yunk Enthusiasts/Confused Population Asking WTF is Yunk Anyways?
  • Number of Celebrities Endorsing Irritable Bowel Syndrome Drugs/Number of Celebrities Endorsing Herpes Outbreak Suppression Drugs

Remember it’s all about stuffing tons of figures into your Technical Analysis art project to dazzle them with brilliance or baffle them with bullshit. Also, be certain to throw in the fact that Mercury is in retrograde in a particular moment of desperation to unload a losing position.

Use the QUALIFIER of Unoriginal Ideas by Regurgitating Stale Ideas from the Echo Chamber

As we’ve covered in previous blog posts, facts and authority on a topic are subjective. Facts are for LOSERS. It's not about original insights or contrary opinions. It's about the echo chamber.

Round up a whole bunch of unsubstantiated, subjective opinions from other Technical Analysis art projects. Bonus points if they are blow-hards with tons of unengaged followers and shout into the camera. After all, if a convincing number of part time Burger King line-cooks all post Youtube Vlogs bleating the same price predictions, then it must be so.

The key here is the ideas must not be original because group consensus and bleating sheep in a field are a serene, bucolic plague of authority.

Always set Unrealistic and STRATOSPHERIC new All Time Highs to Keep the Circle Jerk Alive.

John Madden Meme.jpg

If you ever run out of lines to draw and stale ideas to parrot, simply take the most obtuse prediction, add 110% to that figure and report it as your new price target. Always remember Crypto Trade Analysis blogs are here to serve a single purpose – provide vapid conjecture to keep the circle jerk alive.


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lol, technical analysts won't be so happy

@rudystyle the butthurt has been epic, but you can't make good satire without breaking a few eggs.

Glad you got a chuckle.

i'm guessing that in Who-ville we don't keep charts or graphs ? Maybe you have found the fountain of youth and don't know it yet .

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

@admyrer we do have charts and graphs and we love our satire and art therapy as well.

Officially the Fountain of Youth is in Florida (just outside St. Augustine) allegedly outside where Ponce De Leon landed. However, in Whoville we do have tons of outdoor strip malls (one for every Who) because as we learned from our mentor Dr. Seuss in Sneeches on Beaches:

Only one bad idea parroted,regurgitated and coopted as an original idea is enough to start a money making pump and dump.

Hope you enjoyed a laugh. Satire is an acquired taste.

Me trying to do analysis
maths.gif

@cityslicker I love that movie.

I do point and figure chart analysis, which is great when swing trading currencies (in my opinion). That being said, it sometimes is just one big art therapy project. Are the Jonas Brothers coming to town?

LOL technical analysis.
I had seen a lot of them and they just telling past events and doesn't really know what will the future brings and their guesses are just as good as ours.

I remember this youtube guy when LTC dips after a rally, he said "see? I told you guys to sell" Then after that LTC broke out for an ATH.

In a news-driven market, it is the news sometimes that we have to look out for.

@cryptopie Glad you stopped by for a chuckle.

In terms of Technical Analysis, as much as I pillory it here with satire, I do feel it has use cases and some merit. For instance, I will use Point and Figure analysis to swing trade crypto from time to time.However, using TA exclusively is incredibly silly and becomes more art project than trend tracker.

hahah after seeing your post i don't think i can find patterns LOL hahah

@cutiepie thanks for dropping by for a chuckle.

Maybe I should have included some Rorschach Inkblot images with the trade analysis as well to include some subjective images in the trade patterns. No need to find images, think of it more like visiting an impressionist wing in an art gallery.

Hi @lpfaust! Glad I found your blog. I think technical analysis is very important but I also never trust that because no one can predict the future...haha

@treyang99 glad you came across my blog as well and you got a laugh. Much like satire, not all Technical Analysis is created equal.

Really interesting post by you so much to learn in a cool way.

@steemphotography this is definitely not an educational piece, but I'm glad you (and possibly your bot) enjoyed it.

it made me hurt that you feel i am a bot i always try to synthesis things and try to make the best out of it
seeing your post today i thought to see the postive things about trading and gain something from it as i not that much expert in trading listening and seeing post about trading make me feel good and i always appreciate people if you think that way i am sorry

@steemphotography satire is a specific type of humor which takes a subject or event and makes jokes about it through wordplay. Ironically I was just talking with someone about whether or not satire would work here on Steemit because of the diverse cultures and languages of other Steemit users. In some ways I think there is more truth to his thoughts than I initially believed.

My apologies if my humorous comment implying you might be a bot if the satire went over your head hurt your feelings. That was not the intent. I appreciate your support and your comments:

oh i too apogolise for my mistake i took it on a different note sorry :) my bad mistake

Wow..the graph is very messy :D I cannot predict the price based on this graph @lpfaust :)

Nicely written with full details,loved the meme there.

@starving thanks for checking out the post.

In the immortal word of Forrest Gump satire and memes go together like peas and carrots.

Graph analysis is the most stressful job! Hope you do it well @lpfaust

Hahah this post is so relatable .. haha
Loved it .. thanks for sharing its so true

@akareem thanks for stopping by for a chuckle. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

The analysis scares me out. I always make the wrong prediction on coin price. Looking at your line drawing, I feel like "where should I go?" :)

patterns is what it makes to the top :) thanks for sharing @lpfaust

@blazing human beings are funny creatures which are uncomfortable with uncertainty. We desperately seek comfort in patterns in a desperate attempt to find that certainty.

While I do believe a certain amount of human activity is predictable, I often feel groupthink and herd mentality is a more substantial driver in the market. After all hasn't it been said, "repeat a lie five times and eventually it will be accepted as truth?"

I have one friend who is very good at analyzing, but he told me that it is no easy to do. So I tried by myself and found that it is the impossible thing to do for me.
Thanks you for the post @lpfaust

haha, Trading is not for everyone . Nice post

@elfrances185 thanks for stopping by for a slice of humor. I appreciate it.

No worries if TA is not for you, just use it as art therapy to soothe your tortured soul during a crash.

I can't find even a single pattern, My mind is gonna blow 👻😂😂

@salujmaharhan thanks for checking out the post and laughing a bit.

No worries on finding patterns. Just connect the dots and make some abstract art. Bang! Instant day trader.

ok I'll Try Once more 😋😁

Interesting post thanks for sharing and I can't find even a single pattern

I really don't understand how to do technical analysis. I need to learn a lot

@praful thanks for checking out my post. I hope it brought you a chuckle.

Personally, I use Point and Figure chart analysis to swing trade cryptocurrencies, but there are a bunch of different Technical Analysis methods. Just find one that speaks to you.

@lpfaust Thanks!

Don't underestimate the profit potential of the Double Yunk Pump!! Fortunates have been made on that lucrative trade move.

@heymattsokol just be sure the art therapy is flashing the right indicators, or you might get caught at the top of the dump after the double pump.

Hahaha , Really benefit post , Thanks a lot for sharing and your efforts
Followed ☺

@ferry10 welcome to Steemit. I'm glad to see you've decided to join the community and you stopped by to check out my blog for a chuckle and left a comment. I appreciate it.

Thanks for welcome
Did you saw my first post ( introduce ) ???

@ferry10 I did read it. Generally when I receive comments, I like to see who is engaging with me and what they write. Good to have you in the community.

Thanks

:)))

I too was fooled for a long time by the Fibonacci line, and I drew it. Alas, the crypto-currency about this line did not seem to know anything. :)

@dlina-v-metrah thanks for stopping by for a sliver of humor.

That comment made be snicker a bit. If only we could educate those damn cryptos....

I teached my friend about how to trade on Poloniex and he taught me the charting analysis couple of months ago. As he was already trading in stocks market, before meeting him I never understood the chart. But now I know zoom and that last 30 mins options.
When it comes to analysis we shouldn't forget what the do the Crypto do? like ethereum is for decentralize apps, stratis is for blockchain based on ASP. Net and C#.
I will have to read this post twice or thrice :)

Nice post! Not everyone can draw a complicated graph like you :D I believe you are the master!

I love to find pattern in graphs, so that I can know what might happen next.

Hahahahahaha

@rtdcs glad you got a laugh from it.

Wow...another nice post with usefull article from @lpfaust
W
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My dear friend...superb work..
I'm really interesting your article..
Thank you so much sharing it with all steemians...
I'm appreciate your work and resteemed your post...keep it up post..
Cheers!...

"developed in a Little Italy pizzeria" hahaha

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