A reprimand to you all

in satire •  8 years ago  (edited)

Introduction

I have noticed that my posts have been making nowhere near enough money lately. This is surprising, as the photos I post are all of such exquisite quality and so full of symbolism they could change the world. Fortunately, I have identified some solutions.

To my followers

One of the problems I see is that my minions aren't rich enough; your votes don't do much for me financially, and that, after all, is what my posting is all about: I need the money to spread the Truth through Picturestm full-time.

So, a stern warning: if you don't want to lose your spiritual guide on the Path of Enlightenment through Photostm, you had better power up! Sell those jewels, mortgage that house, and buy Steem Power! You know deep down my presence here can't be missed; you would all go astray.

Remember this: getting money to me is your sole purpose here.

To the whales

And to you whales I say: I am the most important contributor to Steemit, and I even reach out to the riff-raff on alternate Wednesdays by responding to positive comments. So, let's see some money; you need me! And get a grip on those flaggers, no point in your voting for me if some infidel tops off my rewards.

To the guilds

Now, if this isn't engaging content that will attract people to Steemit, I don't know what is, so I expect all you guilds, trails, and what have you to put your money where your mouth is.

To all

Maybe some of you don't understand the above because there is such a huge intellectual gap between me and you and because I couldn't be bothered to draw pictures today. I'll simplify for you:

Give. Me. More. Money.

Thank you for your attention.

To the satirically challenged: I'm kidding.

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Sorry sir. I'll rush to the Steem store after I've pawned my children.

  ·  8 years ago (edited)

=D
About bloody time. Can they still vote for me from the pawn shop?

@steevc wahahahah a very very good one
thank you am teary eyed from a belly laugh!

@ocrdu isn't that already abuse? ahahahaha

I probably should flag him for not having pawned his children sooner, but he did say sorry, so I'll overlook it this time.

@ocrdu hahaha arrogant indeed!
if you flag him he'll write against you and haunt you on replies everywhere :P
it'll be the end of your Steemiting :P

@ocrdu wahahahaha
bloody what? your minions have less money than you do?
of course !that's why they're minions wahahaha

a good read though and gave me a belly laughter!

you just gave those who whine a lot a tip on how to do it slam dunk style!

wahahaha just straight to the point blatant and brutally honest!

I wish I've seen it earlier on freaking damn good I would want to resteem it but you know these days dramas work more ..

It's the "I'm leaving cause blah blag" that works not this so next post try drama :D

I'm no good at drama, but I can play arrogant with the best of them 8-P.

Brilliant post. Love your writing style. And I have hocked my pencils, pens, paper and camera, so I can show support. Now what do I do with my time? Fear I shall become a small fry of creativity, awash on the monetarily stark, sandy beaches of the Minnow Sea.

Thanks.
Still better than being a beached whale, except for the cash, of course 8-).

Ah yes, the bloated cetacean. I'm trying to remain patient and positive. But I fear for in a week or two, when the unlimited posting-number goes into play. I would hate to see 1000's of pointless (I'm being nice) posts of things just bot-pulled or human pulled from random internet sites posted daily. No one will ever see an artists work. It could definitely waste away the creative spark here. And I love this site. The creativity is amazing and fun. And if it waters down the personal interaction, that is even more sad. Now I need a beer.

I feel ya man, I also hope the floodgates don't ruin my nice hopes and dreams :)

I'd say you need to empower your minions, so their vote will be worth something. Where are all those whale-like upvotes from you? Go on, power up already, I'm waiting...

  ·  8 years ago (edited)

To stay in style, I would have to denounce, flag, and mute you, but that's taking satire a bit too far 8-).

Ouch, dodged a bullet there :-)

And to you whales I say: I am the most important contributor to Steemit, and I even reach out to the riff-raff on alternate Wednesdays by responding to positive comments. So, let's see some money; you need me!

satire this may be, it's the fuckin truth. they still donn't get it. the site turns stale, people trickle out.

Oh dear. Well, I will try to auction off our dog, but I am not sure how good a price she will get...

Heehee.
Not the dog, I like dogs. Haven't you got a car or a wife or something?

rotfl what? you're a riot. xo