The Girl

in scary •  6 years ago 
It all started when I was stuck in the forest. I heard crackling. Like someone was behind me and trying to be discrete. When I stopped, it stopped. When I moved, it moved. What was it?? I hid behind a tree. I stayed there for about five minutes before I heard the crackling of footsteps on the leafs. I peeked around to see what it was. And then a girl was standing directly in front of me... just staring. She has black eyes, and was very pale. She asked me if I could help her find her lost dog. I felt as if I had to help her because she had to be only around nine or ten years old. But her eyes... I didnt trust them. I told her I’m sorry but I couldn’t help. She got angry and started shouting at me. Then, like the flip of a switch, she said , "fine" and turned around and walked away. And I was left standing there thinking. "What was that?"
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Ooo a very creepy encounter, the way you tell the story, as though you are telling it directly to the reader, recounting real events, really adds to the story, you do a great job of crafting this in so few words. The little girl with black eyes, who just walks away, it has the feeling of a urban legend, as thought it could feature in a set of stories of people encountering these children, very nicely done.

Welcome to steemit @kayleejade - if you have any questions I would be more than happy to help <3 There is a page that runs writing and poetry contests @bananafish, the next fiction contest is due out soon and we would love to see an entry from you, it's a very welcoming contest and we are always looking for new writers to join us. I very much enjoyed this story and look forward to seeing more from you!

La filosofía: The personal narration, the little lore that tingles in the air. I see the steps of a new writer on this platform and I see the effort made. The rivets of sentences, nearing what it is called "bullet-point syndrome" but subverting the horror trope of stalking with the complete humanity (and innocence) of the nine-ten year old child. That one begins to question who really was the child and why the narrator hadn't merely confronted it in the first place. Yet I guess, I guess, a simple play and subversion is good here. I see, I see! What a wonderful craft what thou hast made here, reminding me off the joke creepypastas of old yet remaining much more in the personal diary essence of a confused and shocked narrator.

La forma (The form): Of course, now let me impart some rather cheatsy ways to improve the quality of your writing just by merely shifting the form around (remove the dots in each of these):

The <.html> and <./html> html ensures you can input HTML code into your posts. They must be inputted first with <.html> first and <./html> last.

The <.p> and <./p> html helps make paragraphs.

Example using <.p> and <./p> to make a paragraph.

The <.i> with <./i> and <.em> with <./em> html italicizes words.

Here I use the <.i> and <./i> italics and here I use the <.em> and <./em> italics.

The <.b> with <./b> and <.strong> with <./strong> bold words

Here I use the <.b> and <./b> bold and here I use the <.strong> and <./strong> bold.

To move along, this is the <.h1> and <./h1> html in action

The <.h2> and <./h2> html in action

And the <.h3> and <./h3> html in action

Here's the benefit of <.center> and <./center>

The <.br> html is useful in commenting to add a paragraph break when yah don't want to constantly want to hit enter all the time.

And also useful when paired in twos to make a paragraph within the same <.p> and <./p> html parameters



And there is so much more to formatting which can make or break a piece. You can infinitely shuffle the html (except <.html> and <./html> with them starting and ending, respectively, html code), but most do it in the order you placed them in the first place. Or really if I got X, Y and Z in that order, I shall have to close them off by /Z, /Y and /X. Also remember to close those html coding, else it shall break everything! Hoped yah save this comment somewhere and reword it to something yah can comprehend, because this shit will be useful to be recognized and gain a following here on Steemit (and to just have nice looking posts...)~ c:

Upvot'd-n-resteem'd!



This post has been manually selected, curated and upvoted by CI mod staff team. Supporting all posts that are in high quality and don’t get enough recognition.



This post was submitted for curation by: @theironfelix
This post was voted: 100%

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