Seablue Journal: Excerpt from my paper journal.

I'm including an excerpt from my paper journal today. I hope you excuse my messy handwriting. I composed this today in a moment of reflection.

I'll transcribe for easier reading and grammar correction, but I'll include some pictures of the journal writing itself. My personal journal is much more intimate in nature. The generalized nature of this writing gives me reason to share.

"My hands are cold. My writing clumsy. I had my moment of reflection while smoking my cigar.

I was struck by the beauty of the orange tinge on the branches of the trees as the sun rose this morning. In the chilly morning, the birds chirped and a quarrel was afoot. They chased and flapped their wings at each other. What this quarrel was about I could not tell.

I dwelt upon the branching of the trees and how they came to an end. But was it an end? The branches will sprout leaves soon and draw strength from the sun again. The energy will strengthen the core of the tree and new branches will begin. Its pace is imperceptible, but it is there.

A crescent moon lay suspended in the blue sky. With my glasses, it is no longer blurred and indistinct. It radiates with clarity. Its spherical nature evident and the mystery of its suspension forms questions in the mind.

What of the moon? What of its cycles? Its relation to the feminine and their cycles. What is a moon that shows itself by day? How does that blend with the cycles?

As the days grow longer, the nights shorter. The seasons change and what does it move within us?

I mourn my disconnection with the natural. That thing that springs eternal without the necessity of man. It is enduring and affecting, but its ways are no longer known to me. Lost in the construction of man. I dwell in houses, ride the roads and work with its machinery. What am I now? A man separated from his nature? What is the nature of man?

If we are the mediator between heaven and earth, what is this expression we give? Our constructing and bringing the natural into subjection to our will.

What a grand metaphor that is for God, who created the material. God moves us into subjection to his will. We, the material being. And we bring the material into subjection. God would not have us as slaves though. Should we enslave nature? Our action with nature reflects our intention. It is a measure of our compassion.

I've contemplated the idea of the masculine will towards the feminine nature before. What do we give of ourselves in love towards nature? Do we love the feminine and nurture it for its bounty? Or do we abuse its fruitfulness and ravage it with voracious lust? The shadow and the light. Does nature urges us towards destruction or creation?"

That was the conclusion of my journal writing for the day. I hope you enjoy my thoughts.