Expert gives tips on how to be more confident and shows why the choices we make are decisive to put ourselves down or up.
When we look to the side or see the lives of friends and family on social media, sometimes we make comparisons and feel diminished. Are our lives as good as others, and as successful?
"Making comparisons and seeking validation outside of ourselves is a recipe for feeling pretty bad. The root of trust is knowing and accepting yourself as you are," coach Susie Moore writes in an article for Greatist, in which she gives some tips for those who want to become a more confident person – check out some below.
Make a decision
Since there are no magic formulas, decide that you are a confident person. "Even if you feel it's not true, it's your responsibility to be a confident person. No one can do that for you," says Susie.
Change the language
Have you ever noticed that confident people don't say "I can't do this" or "I'm not good at this"? So it is. The way we speak makes all the difference. Stronger language, using words like "I love", "I do" and "I can" impacts our mood, our confidence and the way people evaluate us. Body language too, so occupy your space well by sitting with your spine straight, gesturing and maintaining a firm position.
Embrace insecurity
One thing is for sure: everyone, no matter how successful they seem, has their insecurities and negative thoughts. The difference is that confident people don't let uncertainties and doubts drive their decisions. Why not do the same?
Turn envy
You know that person you envy? How about exchanging this negative feeling for another positive one, which is inspiration? If someone occupies a position you dream of, imagine what you can do to get there. "When you focus on what you can control, your confidence level goes up a lot," says Susie.
Write down the compliments
When someone compliments you, in person or on social media, write it down. It might sound a little weird, but Susie explains that it's easy to get carried away by negativity when we get a negative comment, so we should always remember the positive ones. Make a simple file of these compliments and check them out when you're feeling down.
Laugh more
Laughter is always a good medicine to relieve our worries and anxieties. "When you get to the point where you laugh when things go wrong, everything becomes easier. You relax and open yourself up to attracting more joy," explains Susie.
Be you
Instead of trying to live up to the expectations of others, be something you can control, i.e. who you really are, by leveraging your own strengths. “Being you means feeling inspired, acting on your gut, and making decisions from a place of alignment and joy rather than fear and external comparisons,” says Susie. "Are you moving by an inner force? Your intuition is your greatest advisor, and a huge source of confidence," she explains.
Have a purpose
Do you already know what motivates you to be a better person? So think about it and define what your purposes in life are. After all, knowing why you do what you do brings tremendous confidence.
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