Look in the mirror, REALLY look in the mirror, and tell yourself 3 things you appreciate about what you SEE. Then, tell yourself that you care for and love yourself. BOTH STEPS ARE A MUST.
So often are we quick to pull on our wrinkles, push in the bags around our eyes, play with our body or hairline, etc., all while criticizing our appearance. We tend to focus on what we want to change or what’s “wrong.” We’ve all heard that words matter. We all know that words can hurt. Why wouldn’t this apply to ourselves? It’s time for a change!
It’s evident that complimenting others makes them feel great. You may get a smile, a “thank you,” a return compliment, or a combination of any or all three. It feels good to give; it feels good to get. So, again, you will be the giver and receiver.
The challenging part of this practice is that you need to look yourself in the eyes or at that part of your face and/or body and compliment (whisper or aloud) accordingly. Look at all the parts of you and start the mood boost. You can start off easy: choose parts of your face and/or body that you know you like. You can’t find any? It’s really time to be kinder to yourself. Laura Starecheski of NPR shares research that agrees. If need be, you can go back to what others may have complimented on in the past; attempt not to rely on this because your aim is to be self-validating. You can always go back to, “believe it until you receive it.” Don't let anybody's words disrupt this; you can tell when someone is trying to be helpful or hurtful. What you believe for yourself is what's most important.
Saying that you love and care for yourself is self-explanatory. You must do this in the mirror and you must hold eye contact. The important of this is explained in *day seven's challenge. The more you love yourself, the easier it is to be a person of love. This practice will aid in suppressing **self-projecting habits.
This is one you’re going to want to put into practice and develop with time. Start with:
3-7 days of repeating the process of the first three parts of your face and/or body that like
Then let you know that you care for and love yourself no matter how you look
Move on to add or replace with three new parts of you
Continue this process whether or not you hit your beauty goals (it’s healthy to have natural goals for yourself)
Keep practicing this until it becomes a natural habit for you to compliment yourself FIRST anytime you look in the mirror; you can verbalize your goals AFTER
Behold your embodied beauty!
I know first-hand how difficult this is for everyone, especially women. Beauty standards seem unattainable for most of us because of what society demonstrates to us. Instead of letting a faceless entity tell you what looks good, make decisions for yourself. Decide that you are your standard of beauty. Say that you are! You can do it - “I am my standard of beauty.” And know that every individual is their standard of their beauty. Your heart is beautiful and so are you!
**Mathews, LPC NCC, Laura. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201304/projection-and-identity
*Soulcial, Mari. https://www.soulcialbizarro.com/single-post/30-Days-of-Being-a-Love-Machine-Day-7
Starecheski, Laura. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2014/10/07/353292408/why-saying-is-believing-the-science-of-self-talk