How steemit gives me worth when I felt worthless. Thanks @surpassinggoogle for motivation.

Hello fellow Steemians! Today Im in the mood for drama. I do nothing but lying in bed and waiting for the night to take its place. While alone a lot of things came up my mind. A lot of questions formed and apparently most of them are "What if's".

I've been a housewife for a year now and somehow I admitted myself that I missed the life of having a career. But my thought is filled with doubts and questions.

What if my sickness will come back?

What if I cannot make it my own anymore?

I somewhat shamefully admit that I lost my self-worth because of what had happened to me the past year. The pain and the fear still lingers and I don't know when to stand my feet again. One day I felt sure and ready and then the next day I felt fear.

It hurts me to know that my family looked-up on me but inside I felt useless and broke.

It hurts me to know that my family believes in my knowledge and capabilities but I wasted it because of the reason that I cannot trust myself anymore.

I feel a little envy to those career-oriented women. Because I don't see myself in thier shoe.

I asked mself what am I gonna be in years to come?

I lost my strength, perseverance, motivation and self-worth because of my sickness.

Until one day I become a part of steemit. Since I become a member here I regained some of my knowledge and capabilities. Steemit reminds me that there is no need for me to go out to have a career and earn. Because I can do it at home with steemit. Steemit motivates me to write everyday. And I feel contented as a housewife not only because I get a chance of earning, but because I found new friends, I can interact with people and learned new ideas from them.

The most interesting part in steemit is that when fellow steemians recognized my blog. Most especially when it comes from @surpassinggoogle. I am motivated to write new article everyday. The feeling is fulfilling and delightful. 😊

Thank you steemit family.

❤
Gheyz