Separation Anxiety...

The last 6 weeks or so have been the hardest for me. Since the weekend of my birthday things have become rather overwhelmingly dramatic. I'm not going into great deal because I refuse to share what goes on in my personal life with all the blockchain world to see for all eternity. Feel free to hit me up on discord anytime if you care to know more. I refuse to have a pity party for myself especially in public.

Long story short I'm just going to say that my wife and I have separated. At least for a year. I'm not excited about it at all. Real families work through their issues, their drama, under one roof and end up being a stronger family growing old together. Sadly this isn't the case for me right now.

Yesterday I spent the day with her and my son Maverick. It was depressing as fuck too seeing them leave and drive away. I don't like this being separated bullshit. It is so heart breaking. If you all only knew what I was going through.


separation anxiety.jpg
PROOF I'm depressed


Long story even shorter...

I need help. I need all the help I can get. I need help as in moral support. Or whatever you want to call it. The few of you that do seriously follow me can think of me. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. That's right, if you are one of these statists who remains willfully ignorant and still believes in prayer despite the fact that religion is nothing more then a bunch of man made hear say bullshit to control the slave peon masses into complying with their corporate fascist masters, that is still cool too. So pray for me I don't care HA HA.

Please know that all I want is for us to be a happy family living and growing under the same roof. The same roof that I bought for us with the money I made from Bitcoin. For now I'm just trying not to lose my shit.

Stay Un-Tune-Ed...

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  ·  5 years ago (edited)

I can not erase my entire comments. I love you, Dude and I miss you. I hope for the best for you and I have enjoyed reading your blog most of the time. You have developed so much since I last saw you. I was just about to get rid of my Steemit account when I read your post and Bridget's. I am so sad with you. You are an asset, you are smart and strong. You make the world a better place, you ask big questions. I don't agree with your answers often, but you are there seeking truth. I admire that. I am always in your corner. Mom

Dude - I really don
't want to trigger an angry response from you but I am genuinely concerned about you. I assume you are in Fayetteville...and I am not hearing from you so why do I do this to myself? You have old friends who remember you from Unity. Unity is still there...Young Mark Collins died recently, and Jason is very sick, but their Dad is still there, Rose is still there but they are no longer a couple, Sid Simons is still around, Theresa Elder and David Nicewarner are still there...good people to talk to and help you get a grip...the man who was your counsellor is probably still there...

This too shall pass.
If she stays for any reason other than wanting to be there, it's best to let her go.
She will come back if it's going to happen.
If not, then you can make the best of it, or the worst.
You gotta decide for you.

I'm not a prayer.. but I'm sending positive vibes your way.. hopefully y'all can work through shit

Thanks Dave!

Howdy Rainbow Man...thanks for referring me to this post, so sorry to hear about the separation but things can change. I'm one that will prayer for you guys and your situation. By the way, we see miracles on an almost daily basis because of prayer but that has nothing to do with religion.

I had to chuckle when I read your rant against religion because God would agree with you! He hates religion. Jesus was sent to earth to destroy religion, it was the religious leaders that had him killed. Christianity has nothing to do with religion. Religion was made by man, not God.

Jesus was an anarchist. Therefore statist Christians are fake Christians. Do unto others is the same as no victim no crime. The only debt one man should ever owe another man is to love him. Natural law, gods law, its all the same. Which is why I say, "do no harm but stand your ground."

Howdy sir Rainbow Man! I think I agree but then I'm not sure what you mean by "statist Christians."

Statism: The belief that we require permission to be free.

Are you a US citizen? Do you vote, pay taxes, comply with lawless unconstitutional corporate fascist government because you've been institutionalized to do so? Then you might be a statist.

Free men don't have no government issued form of identification.
Free men don't need permission to buy a gun and put it in his pocket.
Free men don't need permission to use a cancer causing medicine that god grew for us.

Freedom needs to be spelled freeDUMB.

FreeDUMB: When thinking that whatever your lawless corporate fascist government permits you to do makes you free.

Nuff said...

Howdy today Rainbowman! I agree but we're so far under the heels of the government that in order to function we're forced to go by their rules, noxious as they are but I agree in principle, of course. I'm definitely a statist then. I don't think we have much choice.
yeah we don't have hardly any freedom anymore.

And that is the kind of response I'm at war with Jonboy. Now you know why my friends I had on the west coast called me the angry hippie. We do have a choice! What do you think the 2nd Amendment was for huh?

If you think you're too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a closed room with a mosquito.
~African Proverb

lol! Great proverb Rainbowman! Yes, I know where you're coming from but since no one wants to actually start a war then the best we can hope for is to elect the most conservative people we can and try to slow down the takeover of the state. I know that's wimpy but people don't want to literally fight. But I agree that we DO have a choice, but I think it's just a theoretical one now. A hundred years ago if they saw this situation then yes.

I'm very saddened to hear that you are going through a difficult time right now. I don't know all the details on what is going on, but I can understand that break-ups can be very difficult and especially since you have a child together.

I know that sometimes with my relationship, we have fights and we have broken up before and moved apart from each other, and then we got back together after a period of time. I remember at first it was so hard and I was so lonely, but after awhile with time, I healed and I felt better after awhile. In the beginning it is always the hardest.

Perhaps you both need time to do some reflecting and when you are apart it will give you time to miss each other. Sometimes being together all the time, is not healthy and can cause fighting.

Sometimes, I just want to hear, i'm sorry and to hear that my partner realized what he did was hurtful, if he is in the wrong. Sometimes, I just want to hear that he loves me. Maybe she has a hard time letting you know what she expects from a partner and is expecting things from you that you're not aware of.

Do you think you can both get to the bottom of these issues and work them out down the road? It seems like you're wiling to work on things. Relationships take lots of work and they are challenging, there are lots of ups and downs.

I hope that you can focus on doing on what makes you feel good. A big part of my mental health is exercising and getting out in nature.

Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you for your concern @shakanin. Like I said I'm not going to go into great detail what happened. It's just complicated and I wish things going on in my life wouldn't of lead to this. Time heals all wounds. I just hope in the end we will get back together living in our house when all of this is done and over.

sorry to hear that man. Stay strong
#YNWA

Well mate, perhaps what I have to tell you is not exactly what you'd wanna hear. But I'm old enough as to know pretty well what I'm gonna tell you right now. This all comes from experience. Past, present and futures' experiences. All of them invariably are the same.

Things happen exactly as they have to happen. And we must consider ourselves highly fortunate when they happen at the right time naturally. Nothing comes simply from nothing. And there are always 'previous' reasons for these to happen when they suddenly happen spontaneously.

These new experiences are precisely those that give us the opportunity to reflect calmly, deeply and conscientiously on things that we wouldn't otherwise see under the daily pressures of habit and routine.

And I promise you, that these new experiences will be highly energizing, invigorating and healing once you have been able to analyze them away from the proverbial and hypnotic routine. Regardless of the eventual outcomes. Wistfully, wishfully or otherwise.

Simply because under the usual repetitive routines replete of habits, we mostly are unable to find the time to actually stop, stay still and stare slowly & closely how far we have arrived or where the hell we are standing in our life at a given moment.

And you are certainly not the only one who has passed, is going through or will go through this. This is all simple law of life in a couple's life. You will simply get over it in no time and surely come out strengthened from all this. Right now, no wonder you can't see it. Neither your wife or your son either. But no doubt it's exactly the way it is.

So, no matter what, rest assured that each one of you will see things more clearly as soon you are aware that neither of you are immortal. Regardless of whether the path to follow may well be continuing alone or accompanied. :)

Wow, didn't see this post coming especially after just reading your Vape Pen discussion. I been busy doing everything but visiting Steemit, just navigated down through my feed to your words.

I'm aptly characterized as a misanthrope, straight edge no tobacco, no alcohol, no drugs, vegan, reject faith in all forms, natural law is king, committed to the pursuit of infinite truth. Anything and everything I can share with you would be found in those paradigms. I suspect you wouldn't want to hear much of it...yet. However, if and when you wish to make personal inquiry to me per those parameters, you may email me at my private email [email protected].

I've been married to my wife for 38 years and we went steady for 8 years before we got married. The universe has brought me forward from hell to righteous fury. The random component is freewill. Search your heart and know the truth that you are here for a purpose. Life is a growth-centric experience, not a comfort-zone-centric experience. The truth is belligerent, the truth doesn't care. The universe will reward you, while you grow.

Pragmatism is simply aversion to principle. Beware the cannabis agenda, it's likely no more benevolent than the CIA flower power agenda revealed by Dave McGowan's book "Weird Scenes Inside The Canyon." Perhaps you should watch the 2017 movie called "Woodshock" while meditating on the Natural Law principles shared by Mark Passio.

The spiritual "help" you are craving isn't alien to you. The universe demands self-discipline as freedom is infinite. The choice is all truth or nothing. The time frame is the present moment which is infinite. You ain't lost, you are just resisting the present moment, and that always manifests suffering.

Spin up some Brian Jones Massacre and get straight, or don't. There is no future for men who don't man up. At least be tough enough to take as long a look on the straight edge side of the fence to know what your opportunity costs are. There's nothing cool about being slow, stupid and hungry.

Woodchuck Pirate
aka Raymond J Raupers Jr USA
woodchuckpirate.com

I am sorry to hear you guys are going through this. I think we all only put on social media what we want to show the world. I have to tell you this last year has been the hardest year if my life and I am 47 (i think). Please know I do understand. I think relationships are very hard no matter who they are with. I also don't say to much. It has been a hard year with my girls. There is no side that is right when things go this way. None of us are perfect. I dont even try.What you said about family working things out, I think everyone works things out in there own way. There isnt a right or wrong way, just a different way.I truly hope things get better sooner than later. If i can help in any way let me know. I will be sending you all good vibes.

Thanks for your support Beth. You and Dave rock! Glad to know you are here for me. Shoot me a message on discord sometime if you ever want to chat. I'm usually the type of person that doesn't ask for help. It was hard enough for me to post this but I had to write something. So I just kept it short and to the point. This way you all will know why I won't be posting homesteading blogs for awhile.

Sup Hippie. Sorry to hear bro. Sad to say, ive been in similar, sucks. Just suggestion (you know, do what you want), but i found alot of things that seem counterintuitive seem to work best. Like ignoring some, getting a new job, or whatever. Wishing you the best.

May be lovey dovey or whatever but i think there is some value in this audio book...

The art of communicating

Good mojo your way 🙌

Thich Nhat Hanh is an amazing leader/teacher...full of wonderful ideas that seem so natural I always wonder why I didn't think of it first, but always glad that he does point out the truths he sees...