Sex, Investments & Why Women Are More Picky than Men

in sex •  7 years ago 

source

I was having a talk earlier with my girl in regards to why women seem to be far pickier than men when it comes to selecting partners. I am not much of a clickbait author so here is the short answer: Aside from major trauma or disability, carrying another human being inside your body is by far the most costly experience a human being can endure. It can transform one's life in a terrible way, heck, even kill you. In contrast, spraying sperm around is cheap and risk free.

No society hasn't changed, our values have not degraded and we are not all going to fry in the fiery pits of hell. The stereotype that has women going after the money holds a very solid ground. The male has to be able to provide while the female is constructing a new human being. He also has to be emotionally stable to stick around after the baby is born.

More or less, he owes to have the whole package in order for the prospective human to have the best chances to make it in a competitive environment. A woman has to wisely chose the husband material and this is harder than one might think. Hormones almost always defy logic.


Nature though, like always, has created a backup plan. Since gene propagation cannot always be ensured by the choices of the female, the male is tuned to hump pretty much anything with a pulse. Much like a stock portfolio, diversification is crucial for success. Entropy is a bitch and can shift the odds in unforeseen ways.

Nature has all too often the answers in front of us but most of the time they are inconvenient for most people to accept. We are all pretty much in denial. We have created institutions of marriage and issued "social contracts" in regards to how one should behave yet most marriages end up in divorce and most partners cheat (or dream about cheating). We all like to believe that we hold "higher" values yet most of the internet is consisted of porn and we all find ourselves unexpectedly rubbing one off. Fucking is at the center of it all and yet we like to hold higher esteem in regards to our purpose and relationship with the opposite sex.


Men like to believe that they see more in a woman other than looks. Yet, most men (regardless of age) prefer 22 year olds. Women on the other hand prefer men around their own age. Clearly males should search for the most fertile and promising sperm bank to deposit their seed while females should care more about connection with the partner for the longterm.

One could say that men are for the short-term satisfaction while women invest in the long-term. This is also the main reason why most short-term traders are men and almost always have more loses while women tend to outperform them it the long run.

At the end of the day is all about economics. Nature is pretty much the stock exchange where the sexes come to play their cards. Both males and females have to play a completely different game in order for the species to reduce risk and diversify as much as possible.

Here is my advice. For women, pick your stocks like you pick your men and you are guaranteed to have a profit in the long run. For men, well, never underestimate a loaded gun. Next time you decide to go balls on the wall with a margin call, jerk off first and then decide if you are up to it.




Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

"Here is my advice. For women, pick your stocks like you pick your men and you are guaranteed to have a profit in the long run". Hahahaha That's is exactly how my dad used to say 🙈 sadly I lost money on the stocks I picked most of the time. 😂

well, you can still HODL! :D

"No society hasn't changed, our values have not degraded and we are not all going to fry in the fiery pits of hell."
Lol, that made me laugh. Indeed so many people believe that our society has degraded and our values are being lost due to globalization and technological advances. I have had several arguments about this topic. Our nature hasn't changed; its manifestations have. And as we are not the center of the universe, values are subjective.
For some reason admitting our true nature seems like an insult to the higher status of being a human. Equal to disregarding our intellect altogether. Our intellect ("logic") is only one of the many traits of evolution to keep us going. Just like the rest of our "nature". I guess it's not an easy thing to realize we are not the center of the universe after all.
We cherish our intellect because its what differentiates us from other animals and makes us unique. Just like people from two different countries will focus on their own uniqueness and what makes them more special rather than their similarities. Which is a behavior again favored by evolution. So you can't really escape :)

beautifully put

The stereotype that has women going after the money holds a very solid ground.

Even though I guess you are completely right it still surprises and also scares me. The majority definitely choses their relationships according to the partner´s economical situation. I've never done that, perhaps because the two relationships that I had (6 and 5 years) were "love at first sight" (boom!). I didn't even had the time to ask for their bank account when "Amor" hit me hard!!! Hahaha

However, we all move ourselves in certain social environments. Depending on our own economical situation and "standard" we enter certain groups and don't enter others.

I'd say that we don't even make some of these decisions consciously. Wealth provides security. Probably we don't look specifically for money but the opportunity to enjoy security. That would be at least my argument for chosing a "rich guy". However, most of the time people with "too much" money are quite boring... I'd always favor entertainment over money then 😎

Women, pick your stocks like you pick your men and you are guaranteed to have a profit in the long run.

Hahaha! 😅😅😅
That one really made me laugh. I'll consider it... if I'd ever invest in stocks...

Great and thought-provoking post!

I'd say that we don't even make some of these decisions consciously. Wealth provides security. Probably we don't look specifically for money but the opportunity to enjoy security. That would be at least my argument for chosing a "rich guy". However, most of the time people with "too much" money are quite boring... I'd always favor entertainment over money then

Wealth provides security but people always make decisions consciously.

What does this phenomenon means for woman? Depends... maybe that they can sometime chose a wealth guy that doesn't have cash.. like a nice guy that just finished the university... like the nextdoor guy that is a great runner for marathons or maybe.... who knows.. a MINNOW on Steemit with 0$ but ONE THOUSAND original authentic articles written during the last 2 years ...

Work and value is not always rewarded by the time you want it...

Haha, a guy from the Uni? I'm 36 😅

What about women that have their own money and don't need the one of their partner? Or are they not stereotypy enough? 😉

The classification into poor and rich guys is done by men not by women. If you knew what we talk about when we talk about men, you'd be surprised. There are other values than the size of a bank account...

Steem on minnow! 💪

Thank you for sharing this marly. Indeed we all choose to invest in something in our partner. Whether it is social capital (love) or financial (money) remains irrelevant.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Very insightful post. Marriage is a commitment and requires hard work. There are many ups and downs in our world that a couple must navigate and sometimes even the deepest love is just not enough to endure. It bothered me when my mother, a very strong personality, used to say about weddings that to her they were much like a funeral and that a couple standing at the alter in a state of bliss today would most likely run away in fear if they knew what was ahead of them. Marriage has many benefits and can provide much joy for a couple and in turn a family. Trust is the bedrock of the marriage relationship and should be protected at the highest level because when trust is lost it is very hard if not impossible to retrieve. Falling in love is usually portrayed in a mystical sense which is misleading in my view.

Marriage is a legal prison. Why would anyone need permission from another authority to stay in love? It already smells like a bad deal

Great article! I love how you relate psychology and the market together. Look forward to your future articles.

Very well written, you put your point across clearly and concisely and for the most part I agree.

thank you CC. glad you liked it

Ah @kyriacos, I do so love the way that you get to the point of things. At 18 I married my husband who was 36 at the time. There was no way I would have married a guy my age, in fact marriage was the last thing I wanted to deal with at all, mainly due to the concept of unrealistic expectations ( I tend to not put people in emotional situations that I know will stress them in any way). A lot of my choices were and have been met with derision by others but are really paying dividends in the long run, so I really identify with this bit of your written wisdom:

One could say that men are for the short-term satisfaction while women invest in the long-term. This is also the main reason why most short-term traders are men and almost always have more loses while women tend to outperform them it the long run.

After 18 years together I do have to admit that a lot of the success in our relationship is due to mutual affection, similar economic worldviews, and that we are pretty well suited roommates. Of course I suppose after a perusal of your article, the fact that I look like I am about 22 doesn't hurt, lol! Thanks again for a thought-provoking read.

Glad your liked it. (and glad you relate in real life as well! )

LOL!

As much as I would have liked to object to some portions of this article, from a moral stand point it is very well written.

Truth needs to be taken with a pinch of salt :)

Morality is subjective. Also please go ahead. I welcome all criticism.

i agree it is partly true and partly exaggerated and to much labeling on both sides .

I've abstained in searching for a partner and I'm planning to choose one when I'm already like 30 to 35 years old. By then, the woman (preferably younger) will decide to invest for the long term because by then I'll be more financially independent and a wiser man.

Very wise decision.

Thanks man! :)

no problem

Makes a lot of sense. Men (most men) have to try and mate with as many females as they can to propagate the species. Women have to ensure that only the best males father their children.

In the past,"Swift & Strong" was how men were judged as hunters, protectors and providers. While the "Bad Boy" stud muffin still has it place, money, wealth and power are the new measure of men.

The "Bad Boy" types are still what women would choose for a fling, but for children and marriage, money & security rule the day.

yeap, this is how 3/10 of children do not belong to their biological father. Alphas spread the genes and betas raise them.

Very true. In the end, a woman got more to loose when a relationship breaks up. She needs to be choosier.

Yeap. She is much more invested if something goes south.

Wow! Great stuff. I've been thinking along these lines for some time now but you've put it into words. Thank you!

Now, how do we solve this little conundrum so everyone is satisfied and happy? Impossible? :D

Ask Stalin. He has excellent plans for socialist utopias :D

Ha! I'll stick with the free market thanks! ;)

Well, dating is much like the free market!

Interesting. In my experience "love" shows up when it wants to. If someone is choosing attributes or where a partner "is" financially or whatever over feelings of the heart..... well simply put..... they're missing out and in the long run selling themselves short. It's wired in men just like other males in the animal kingdom to go out and procreate. Males in lots of other species just spread seed and aren't very good partners or fathers. I myself am a late bloomer with a younger wife and now have a 2 and 5 year old. My wife is an old soul though. All the experiences I had led me to here and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Nice to hear it worked out for you. What do you think is most valuable quality one can find in a partner?

That's easy. My wife is my best friend among many other things. She's my world. How would I define that as a quality if one were looking.......... IDK.... companionship?

yeap. marriage is a business after all. better do it on the best terms. if she is your friend then you are lucky.

Sure I can see where it can be labeled a business but it is all in the eye's of the beholder more so. Could I spend the rest of my life with my wife without the label, license, fees, rings, ungodly costs incurred, societies view point etc. etc.etc....... hell yeah but in the end it was what made my wife happy and that's what mattered to me. I don't look at our marriage as a business at all. It's two people who found one another on this mudball in a current life among many. Two people who when in a room of thousands only see each other. For me it's very different and so much more than a business.

I didn't mean it in a bad way. It can be a business with great rewards in social capital ( rather than financial)

K I didn't take that way. I was just explaining mine in regards to your comment. Believe me I've seen all kinds of bad marriages and all kinds of people who did it for all the wrong reasons. Sorry if I came across ill. Didn't mean to.

No problem. Its all good

"No society hasn't changed"

I'll have to disagree on this minor point. This is demonstrably false. There's a growing body of evidence in psychology that strongly correlates increasing levels of narcissism with increasing levels of Facebook and Instagram use, which makes perfect deductive sense. That's just one technological example; cameras on our phones is another. I'd say there is a very real potential for a large cohort of society to collectively develop an over-inflated ego leading to everyone thinking they deserve better and nobody being happy. FOMO from media images kills the character needed to engage the imperfect. I've noticed, particularly with the younger half of society, an increasing belief that they (we?) are always "deserving" something better. We'll see how it pans out.

There's a growing body of evidence in psychology that strongly correlates increasing levels of narcissism with increasing levels of Facebook and Instagram use, which makes perfect deductive sense.

Humans have always been narcissistic. They just used to do it in the church, newspapers, schools or streets. psychology is more or a social engineering, not science. the fundamental aspects of humans have remained the same. people used to use make-up and dress fancy as much as they do today for taking selfies.

I've noticed, particularly with the younger half of society, an increasing belief that they (we?) are always "deserving" something better.

that's called entitlement and I agree.

I'll certainly agree with you there. However, I think technology has made validation easier and easier for some to achieve. Merely the ability to curate the photos we post online allows us to get an inflated sense of self. One is perceived as much more attractive if one only shows the best 1% of their self-curated photos! One's apparent public image can also be crafted by carefully presenting only the socially acceptable hobbies, musical choices, etc. I have observed this effect on Tinder, which provides one microcosmic example.

I'm unaware of an analog for this effect that predates social media and camera-phones. The level of ubiquity was simply not there with personal ads, which seems to be the closest to come immediately to mind.

I think this ends up being bad for everyone. Here's a bit of data you may have already seen:

https://theblog.okcupid.com/your-looks-and-your-inbox-8715c0f1561e

"As you can see from the gray line, women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium."

the follow kyriacos cartoon logo is perfect ! easily one of my favorites now. did you do it yourself ? not that it would make it less incredible if you choose to answer otherwise.

Part of it I did myself. Part of it, I found it on my old hard drive.

The same reason why men are more likely to die doing stupid jobs! hahah

For best results: Resteem, Upvote, Follow & Comment

:'D same reason why male insurance costs so much more

amen lol

Women are more picky than men because men can get women pregnant and leave while a woman can't just choose anyone because of pregnancy and their responsibility if they get pregnant. They need to choose a mate that would be more favorable to them, it's in our nature to want to mate with someone with favorable traits that will make sure the offspring has the best chance of survival. This may seem very primative, but we all have that nature in us, deny it or not, we are animals.

precisely.

good views. thanks.

You are welcome

Beautiful rhetoric!

loved ur article kyriacos , yep totally get it why women are more picky now checkout mine you might like it https://steemit.com/health/@whitedolphin/why-fireworks-are-bad-for-health-and-the-environment

nice pic

which one?

very insightful, I really enjoyed reading it

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

I sure wish women would be much choosier with their partners to ensure safety and a thriving environment. By the looks of it, it is a natural occurrence, good for us all! Well done and thank you for sharing, namaste :)

One can only try. Like I said above, emotions usually hijack the process.

cool

Very entertaining story @kyriacos! A bit true and a bit exaggerated, but so are many relationships after reflecting on it when it is over. Nice written piece! Upvoted!

lol love your name. i think most relationships are based on more or less what I wrote

Thanks :) And true!

because a hole is a hole...

and women are more picky because there is different magic stick some big some small some fat :p

i don't think it gets so important about the physical part