Life. Am I right?

So I get up this morning, to try to get myself in the mood to organize all day. The roof was half finished yesterday, scheduled to be finished starting at 7 this morning.
At about 3 am, I woke to the sound of rain.
At about 6:30, I stepped into the bathroom...to a puddle on the floor, and drops of water coming from the bathroom vent/fan.
Torn between rage at the wet sock (man, do I hate wet socks!) and distress at a leaking roof and also the indecision of contacting the roofer or just waiting to see if he texts to cancel...
I texted about the leak. He reassured me that it should be fine (the drip did seem to be random and short-lived) and that they'd be starting at 9, as the rain was turning to snow.

But that is not my story today.
My story today is about what I saw on facebook.
The quick back story is about how I joined a roller derby league when it was first formed here in my community and how I played a major role in it's formation.

The day we met to learn about the very first Cape Cod Roller Derby league (I'm the one in the orange shirt).

I am an anxious person and I do not like being caught off guard, if I can help it. I did so much research that no one else seemed to want to do, so everyone came to me to learn. Which pushed me into a leadership role and ultimately became one of the first regular 'trainers' for the league.

I even made it onto one of the first open skate flyers!

Fast-forward to the day I left, I had spent so much time helping others learn how to play roller derby, I never had a real chance to get the practice time to become a good player, myself. It was sad.

I have great memories of the experience. We don't have a skating rink here. We have 4 ice skating rinks, but no roller skating rinks. The closest rink was used by the next closest derby league and so out of the question for us, as a courtesy.
So we skated on tennis courts until we were told not to (or new signs were put up). We called about abandoned courts that were locked up, but we were told they were 'planning on fixing them up for use'...which never actually happened. We finally got the okay to use the melted rink in the community center (the place where they actually have TWO ice rinks under one roof...so I suppose we actually have 5 ice rinks), but that only lasted one season. It was a great opportunity to enlist new skaters, but it didn't give us a permanent home. (We were able to get our first bout in there first, though, but that's another post)
We lucked out and were able to move on to skate in a boat hanger! How much more Cape Cod can you get than skating in a boat hanger!?

Sure there were days when we had to mop up oil spills or the driving rain was coming straight in the door, but it was a place to skate!
The founders of the league asked me along on a lot of trips to check out potential homes for the league. We ended up in a warehouse that was used as storage in the local media center.

There were holes in the floor that needed to be patched. There were support poles in the way of every optional placement of the roller derby track. We worked hard to clean and tape and re-tape. We formed committees. We did a lot of work.

Eventually, I was doing more work than skating and learning. And it was frustrating.
I didn't want to stop skating, but I wasn't comfortable playing roller derby.
I wanted a way to do the derby practice without the pressure of playing the game.
I discovered a thing called derby lite and thought it would be a great idea.
The league was struggling to get money, since most of the money was coming from league dues, and dues are low when attendance is low. You can't get money from ticket sales if you can't host games or get enough skaters to have a travel team.
Upon my leaving, I presented the league president with a proposal to do an adult fitness skate, where people could come to a no contact derby practice without the pressure of playing.
They said they'd consider it...and I never heard another word about it.

Until just about New Year's Eve when an old friend, and current derby player, saw me and told me this plan was in the works. She said she had seen my proposal in the leagues files and worked off of that, and that she was in the process of making it a thing.
Today they posted the info about this new program.
I am putting my own personal (a little bit hurt) feelings aside to check it out!

Here's a little confession.
When I decided to join roller derby, it was because I had always loved skating and thought roller derby was pretty rad. But as the months passed and I was pulled deeper into the culture, I started acting outside of my normal personality. Everything was unicorns and glitter. Hugging and ass smacking.
I do not like people in my personal space. It became a joke that I played roller derby but didn't like people touching me.
But it was a game. It was part of the game...did it also have to be part of the 'after game'?
I was playing a part and pulling away from my true personality. I gained so much weight...all the weight I had tried so hard to lose. A fellow skater said 'maybe you weren't truly happy at that weight!?'...nope...I was not happy then, at that time I was heavier and pretending to be the kind of person that smacks a teammate on the ass because it's her birthday.

Quitting derby was what I needed to regain my true and real personality.
But now, with the fitness skate actually happening, I think I can get back to it. I have gotten back to a healthy place, both physically and emotionally, and there are no strings attached this time. I am just another person trying to skate for fun and fitness.

Can't wait to wear my sparkly silver helmet again!

It's been about a year (at least) since I skated. Most of the last bit of skating has been on trails or skate parks...and a birthday skate in an actual rink. It has been over 3 years since I've skated with the derby ladies. I am anxious about it, but my friend Jen is planning on going, too, so that will help.
First session is February 9...for 8 Fridays.
Time to dust of the skates and knee pads!