already off to a bad start.
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@smartasscards
#newgame 123412
#players edicted alxgraham ericwilson wizard
#mode vote
#deck edicted
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#winner 1 alxgraham
For my first trick, I shall pull turd sandwich out of debt-based slavery.
0 1 0 0
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#combine 2
0. Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I’m into the gift that keeps on giving, and I love to have a good time.
1. Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I’m into ten incredible facts about the anus, and I love to have a good time.
2. Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I’m into that guy who's really into Monster Energy drinks, and I love to have a good time.
3. Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I’m into schizophrenia, and I love to have a good time.
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#vote 0
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#winner 2 alxgraham
Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I’m into ten incredible facts about the anus, and I love to have a good time.
0 0 0 0
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#combine 3
0. Help me doctor, I’ve got The Danger Zone in my butt!
1. Help me doctor, I’ve got that food in your teeth that no one has mentioned in my butt!
2. Help me doctor, I’ve got getting road head in my butt!
3. Help me doctor, I’ve got unappreciated women of color in my butt!
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#vote 3
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#winner 3 wizard
Help me doctor, I’ve got unappreciated women of color in my butt!
0 0 0 1
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#combine 4
0. five midgets spanking a man covered in thousand island dressing took our jobs. Dey terk er jerbs! Terk-ker-jer!
1. adhesive medical strips took our jobs. Dey terk er jerbs! Terk-ker-jer!
2. Auschwitz took our jobs. Dey terk er jerbs! Terk-ker-jer!
3. Muad'dib's Jihad took our jobs. Dey terk er jerbs! Terk-ker-jer!
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#vote 3
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#winner 4 wizard
Muad'dib's Jihad took our jobs. Dey terk er jerbs! Terk-ker-jer!
0 0 0 1
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#combine 5
0. butt stuff, kid tested, mother approved.
1. being an idiot, kid tested, mother approved.
2. contagious ass cancer, kid tested, mother approved.
3. Basic Bitch Syndrome, kid tested, mother approved.
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#vote 1
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#winner 5 alxgraham
being an idiot, kid tested, mother approved.
0 1 0 0
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#combine 6
0. If you don't like playful anti-semitism then you can just GIT OUT.
1. If you don't like The Trail of Tears then you can just GIT OUT.
2. If you don't like lots and lots of abortions then you can just GIT OUT.
3. If you don't like way too much mayonnaise then you can just GIT OUT.
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#vote 2
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#winner 6 ericwilson
If you don't like lots and lots of abortions then you can just GIT OUT.
0 0 1 0
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#combine 1
0. For my first trick, I shall pull an unnecessary boob job out of Girls Gone Wild.
1. For my first trick, I shall pull turd sandwich out of debt-based slavery.
2. For my first trick, I shall pull a lesbian stripper ninja out of sex with Captain Picard.
3. For my first trick, I shall pull daddy's credit card out of a cat licking it's own balls while simultaneously staring at you.
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#vote 1
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#vote 3
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#vote 0
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#vote 2
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#vote 2
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#vote 2
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#vote 0
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#combine 7
0. The aliens refused to make first-contact because of a team of lawyers.
1. The aliens refused to make first-contact because of the wrath of Vladimir Putin.
2. The aliens refused to make first-contact because of smoking crack.
3. The aliens refused to make first-contact because of five-finger discounts.
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#winner 7 ericwilson
The aliens refused to make first-contact because of smoking crack.
0 0 0 0
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#combine 8
0. Every step towards a God complex gets me a little bit closer to a reason to not commit suicide.
1. Every step towards jobs gets me a little bit closer to Queen Elizabeth’s immaculate anus.
2. Every step towards children with sticky hands gets me a little bit closer to a heart-shaped box.
3. Every step towards the uninterrupted history of imperialism and exploitation gets me a little bit closer to new phone who dis.
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#vote 2
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#winner 8 ericwilson
Every step towards children with sticky hands gets me a little bit closer to a heart-shaped box.
0 0 1 0
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#combine 9
0. What is best in life? cowboys eating pudding
1. What is best in life? a placenta with hot sauce
2. What is best in life? the morbidly obese
3. What is best in life? laughing so hard you pee a little
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#vote 3
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#winner 9 wizard
What is best in life? laughing so hard you pee a little
0 0 0 1
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#combine 10
0. Hi guys! Today I'm vlogging about a sentient cheeto.
1. Hi guys! Today I'm vlogging about Agent Orange.
2. Hi guys! Today I'm vlogging about Jehovah’s witnesses.
3. Hi guys! Today I'm vlogging about deez nuts.
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#vote 3
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#winner 10 wizard
Hi guys! Today I'm vlogging about deez nuts.
0 0 0 1
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#combine 11
0. Legend tells of a princess who has been asleep for a thousand years and can only be awoken by three dicks at the same time.
1. Legend tells of a princess who has been asleep for a thousand years and can only be awoken by The Baddest Bitch of the Bad Girl's Club.
2. Legend tells of a princess who has been asleep for a thousand years and can only be awoken by holding my beer.
3. Legend tells of a princess who has been asleep for a thousand years and can only be awoken by defenseless children.
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#vote 2
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#winner 11 ericwilson
Legend tells of a princess who has been asleep for a thousand years and can only be awoken by holding my beer.
0 0 1 0
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#combine 12
0. James is a lonely boy. But when he discovers a secret door in his attic, he meets a magical new friend: dried out cum stains on the wall.
1. James is a lonely boy. But when he discovers a secret door in his attic, he meets a magical new friend: pretentious hipsters with handlebar mustaches.
2. James is a lonely boy. But when he discovers a secret door in his attic, he meets a magical new friend: the euphoric rush of strangling a drifter.
3. James is a lonely boy. But when he discovers a secret door in his attic, he meets a magical new friend: a quarter superglued to the ground.
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#vote 3
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#winner 12 wizard
James is a lonely boy. But when he discovers a secret door in his attic, he meets a magical new friend: a quarter superglued to the ground.
0 0 0 1
#gameover 12
edicted
alxgraham
ericwilson
wizard
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@smartasscards
#newgame 123412
#players edicted alxgraham ericwilson wizard
#mode vote
#deck edicted
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#winner 1 edicted
Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I’m into an interracial handshake, and I love to have a good time.
0 0 0 0
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#combine 2
0. Behind every powerful man is turd sandwich.
1. Behind every powerful man is a cat licking it's own balls while simultaneously staring at you.
2. Behind every powerful man is Michael Dorn in full Worf makeup.
3. Behind every powerful man is eating the rich.
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#vote 2
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#winner 2 ericwilson
Behind every powerful man is Michael Dorn in full Worf makeup.
0 0 1 0
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#combine 3
0. This is America. If you don’t work hard, you don’t succeed. I don’t care if you’re black, white, purple, or dick shit.
1. This is America. If you don’t work hard, you don’t succeed. I don’t care if you’re black, white, purple, or a senile Walmart greeter.
2. This is America. If you don’t work hard, you don’t succeed. I don’t care if you’re black, white, purple, or Girls Gone Wild.
3. This is America. If you don’t work hard, you don’t succeed. I don’t care if you’re black, white, purple, or ambiguous sarcasm.
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#vote 1
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#winner 3 alxgraham
This is America. If you don’t work hard, you don’t succeed. I don’t care if you’re black, white, purple, or a senile Walmart greeter.
0 1 0 0
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#combine 4
0. I'm came here to kick a team of lawyers and chew bubble gum!
1. I'm came here to kick the kid's table and chew bubble gum!
2. I'm came here to kick the big fucking hole in the ozone layer and chew bubble gum!
3. I'm came here to kick no one ever and chew bubble gum!
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#winner 4 edicted
I'm came here to kick a team of lawyers and chew bubble gum!
0 0 0 0
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#combine 5
0. In 2018 we had to remind the people of white people to stop associating with the shocker.
1. In 2018 we had to remind the people of inserting a Mason jar into my anus to stop associating with the birds and bees.
2. In 2018 we had to remind the people of five midgets spanking a man covered in thousand island dressing to stop associating with my black ass.
3. In 2018 we had to remind the people of The Snatch Monster to stop associating with getting road head.
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#vote 2
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#winner 5 ericwilson
In 2018 we had to remind the people of five midgets spanking a man covered in thousand island dressing to stop associating with my black ass.
0 0 1 0
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#combine 6
0. Why am I broke? electroshock treatment
1. Why am I broke? the tiger that killed my father
2. Why am I broke? your one to ten attractiveness ranking
3. Why am I broke? the ultimate circle jerk
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#winner 6 edicted
Why am I broke? electroshock treatment
0 0 0 0
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#combine 7
0. WHOOO! God damn I love deez nuts!
1. WHOOO! God damn I love no clothes on, penis in vagina!
2. WHOOO! God damn I love mother forking bull shirt!
3. WHOOO! God damn I love the soothing voice of Morgan Freeman!
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#vote 1
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#winner 7 alxgraham
WHOOO! God damn I love no clothes on, penis in vagina!
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#combine 1
0. Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I’m into an interracial handshake, and I love to have a good time.
1. Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I’m into Lunchables™, and I love to have a good time.
2. Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I’m into white privilege, and I love to have a good time.
3. Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I’m into that guy who always talks about work at parties, and I love to have a good time.
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#combine 8
0. My overhead light socket told me that I need a slow and steady stream to acquire a didgeridildo.
1. My overhead light socket told me that I need Buzz Killington to acquire penis breath.
2. My overhead light socket told me that I need unappreciated women of color to acquire this week's mass shooting.
3. My overhead light socket told me that I need a crucifix to symbolize love and forgiveness to acquire way too much mayonnaise.
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#vote 3
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#winner 8 wizard
My overhead light socket told me that I need a crucifix to symbolize love and forgiveness to acquire way too much mayonnaise.
0 0 0 1
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#combine 9
0. I don’t mean to brag, but they call me the Micheal Jordan of boring vaginal sex.
1. I don’t mean to brag, but they call me the Micheal Jordan of a crying stripper with smudged mascara.
2. I don’t mean to brag, but they call me the Micheal Jordan of Auschwitz.
3. I don’t mean to brag, but they call me the Micheal Jordan of getting eaten alive by Guy Fieri.
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#vote 2
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#winner 9 ericwilson
I don’t mean to brag, but they call me the Micheal Jordan of Auschwitz.
0 0 1 0
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#combine 10
0. In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of profound respect and appreciation for indigenous culture.
1. In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of being an idiot.
2. In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of pitching a tent.
3. In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of catcalling girls with 'SHWING'.
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#vote 1
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#winner 10 alxgraham
In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of being an idiot.
0 1 0 0
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#combine 11
0. Grandma got run over by dried out cum stains on the wall.
1. Grandma got run over by the white half of Barack Obama.
2. Grandma got run over by douchebagging.
3. Grandma got run over by finding a nice elevator to poop in.
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#winner 11 wizard
Grandma got run over by finding a nice elevator to poop in.
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#combine 12
0. What did that crazy homeless person just whisper in your ear? "immortality cream."
1. What did that crazy homeless person just whisper in your ear? "my dead son's baseball glove."
2. What did that crazy homeless person just whisper in your ear? "Bob Ross and a lovely landscape."
3. What did that crazy homeless person just whisper in your ear? "a Russian mail-order bride."
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#winner 12 wizard
What did that crazy homeless person just whisper in your ear? "a Russian mail-order bride."
0 0 0 0
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#combine 13
0. Do you want the double-sided dildo from Requiem for a Dream? Because that's how you get teaching a slow learner with braces to give head!
1. Do you want The Spice Girls? Because that's how you get The LBGTQ Humanist Alliance!
2. Do you want oil? Because that's how you get a sex dungeon!
3. Do you want Matthew McConaughey as himself? Because that's how you get Africa!
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#winner 13 ericwilson
Do you want oil? Because that's how you get a sex dungeon!
0 0 0 0
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#combine 14
0. Girls just want to have squares.
1. Girls just want to have a baby with a forehead the size of Jay Leno's chin.
2. Girls just want to have self worth.
3. Girls just want to have The Magic Estrogen Fairy.
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