@smartasscards
#newgame 123412
#players edicted alxgraham ericwilson wizard
#mode vote
#deck local
If you like it then you shoulda put _ on it.
Fuck _. Marry _. Kill _.
I'm came here to kick __ and chew bubble gum!
__ or riot.
Would you mind bringing _ to the barbecue tomorrow?
If elected, I promise to give _ to every man, woman, and child.
A vote for me is a vote for _.
Did you hear Mr. Murphy is giving us a pop quiz on _? I hope I pass.
Elon Musk's newest invention _ is powered by _.
Have you heard about _? It's a crazy new sex act involving _.
The aliens refused to make first-contact because of _.
If you liked __ just wait until I introduce you to _.
What did that crazy homeless person just whisper in your ear? "."
Did you hear they're adding the _ event to the Special Olympics?
Hi guys! Today I'm vlogging about __.
Why do feminists hate _?
In 2018 we had to remind the people of _ to stop associating with _.
My fondest memory of Grandpa was when he took me to see __ on ice
My best friend's mother died because of _ and I feel nothing.
Grandma got run over by __.
Go put a dollar in the _ jar.
For my first trick, I shall pull __ out of __.
As punishment for their sins, souls trapped in the seventh layer of hell are subjected to _.
Four out of five personal trainers recommend _ while operating a Shake Weight™.
I'll trade you _ for _. Deal?
This is war! We may have lost __, but we can still save _.
Danforth, pull up flank! Get __ into position and unleash hell on _!
My overhead light socket told me that I need _ to acquire _.
"Be excellent to each other when sharing _," said _.
Did you watch Bill and Ted's __ Adventure last night? It was awesome!
The elderly normally have a hard time understanding how __ and _ go together.
Behind every powerful man is __.
James is a lonely boy. But when he discovers a secret door in his attic, he meets a magical new friend: __.
This is America. If you don’t work hard, you don’t succeed. I don’t care if you’re black, white, purple, or __.
When I was a kid we used to play Cowboys and __.
I have a strict policy. First date, dinner. Second date, kiss. Third date, _.
Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you’ve been sent to the principal’s office for _.
What killed my boner?
What’s making things awkward in the sauna?
WHOOO! God damn I love _!
Why am I broke?
Well if __ is good enough for , it’s good enough for me.
Having the worst day EVER. #
Heed my voice, mortals! I am the god of _, and I will not tolerate !
Help me doctor, I’ve got _ in my butt!
Here at the Academy for Gifted Children, we encourage all students to explore , at their own pace.
Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I’m into , and I love to have a good time.
Hi, this is Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled “.” Can you explain?
I don’t mean to brag, but they call me the Micheal Jordan of __.
In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of __.
In his new action comedy, Jackie Chan must fend off ninjas while also dealing with __.
Now in bookstores: “The Audacity of __” by Barack Obama.
And today’s soup is Cream of ___.
Do the Dew with our most extreme flavor yet! Get ready for Mountain Dew: !
Don’t forget! Beginning this week, Casual Friday will officially become “ Friday.”
Your father was a powerful wizard, Harry. Before he died, he left you something very precious: ___.
Legend tells of a princess who has been asleep for a thousand years and can only be awoken by ___.
And in the end, the dragon was not evil; he just wanted ___.
Having tired of poetry and music, the immortal elves now fill their days with ___.
A recent laboratory study shows that undergraduates have 50% less sex after being exposed to _.
Fun tip! When your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with __ instead.
I get by with a little help from __.
Introducing the amazing superhero/sidekick duo! It’s ___ and __!
Introducing X-Treme Baseball! It’s like baseball, but with __!
The new Chevy Tahoe. With the power and space to take __ everywhere you go.
They said we were crazy. They said we couldn’t put __ inside of __. They were wrong.
Today on Maury: “Help! My son is __!”
What is George W. Bush thinking about right now?
What’s fun until it gets weird?
__ will never be the same after __.
I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t allow __ at the country club.
How am I compensating for my tiny penis?
We never did find _, but along the way we sure learned a lot about __.
__ may pass, but __ will last forever.
Dear Leader Kim Jong-un, our village praises your infinite wisdom with a humble offering of _.
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on __, and then there’s some stuff about _, and then it ends with _______.
In return for my soul, the Devil promised me ___, but all I got was ___.
The Japanese have developed a smaller, more efficient version of ___.
This is the prime of my life. I’m young, hot, and full of ___.
It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from ___.
If you can’t handle __, you’d better stay away from ___.
Forget everything you know about __, because now we’ve supercharged it with ___!
Honey, I have a new role-play I want to try tonight!
You can be __, and I’ll be .
This year’s hottest album is “” by __.
Every step towards __ gets me a little bit closer to _.
Adventure. Romance. . From Paramount Pictures, “.”
I am become __, destroyer of __!
The most valuable export of Venezuela is _.
For your first quest, you must neutralize _, and bring back __.
What does Donald Trump look like naked? __.
___, kid tested, mother approved.
Coming this March, Netflix original: ___, the story of __.
__ took our jobs. Dey terk er jerbs! Terk-ker-jer!
Barney shared __ with his friends.
The fight of the century: __ vs __! Only on Pay-Per-View.
When I get that feeling, I need, __ healing
Did you see that video of ____? It featured ____!
I fought __, and __ won.
You know you're thirsty when you're considering __.
The Supreme Being in an alternate dimension to our own is known as _.
Girls just want to have __.
What is best in life?
I keep videos of _____ on my secret thumb drive.
Do you want _? Because that's how you get _!
Genie! For my third wish I command you to grant me _.
_ sticks to kids, better than BAND-AIDs® ever did.
I live life one-quarter-mile at a time. That’s why I never leave the house without __.
__ opens for __ tonight at __ stadium. You in?
the power of the Dark Side
meaningless sex
a peyote-fueled vision quest
breastfeeding a ten year old
crippling social anxiety
immortality cream
not giving a shit about the third world
wearing glasses and sounding smart.
western standards of beauty.
unrelenting genital punishment
too much cocaine
the white half of Barack Obama
the black half of Barack Obama
the tiger that killed my father
the inability to form meaningful relationships
eight gay warlocks who dictate the rules of fashion
social justice warriors with flamethrowers of compassion
slowly easing down onto a cucumber
seeing things from Hitler’s perspective
Russian super-tuberculosis.
oil
my first period
my boyfriend's stupid penis
not believing in giraffes
figuring out how to have sex with a dolphin
deez nuts
daddy's credit card
child support payments
changing a person's mind with logic and facts
butt stuff
boring vaginal sex
blowjobs for everyone
blackface
being paralyzed from the neck down
a nine-year old
backwards knees
anal fissures
the uninterrupted history of imperialism and exploitation
a zero-risk way to make $2,000 from home
a team of lawyers
a reason to not commit suicide
a disappointing salad
inserting a Mason jar into my anus.
the big fucking hole in the ozone layer.
an aborted fetus
The Trail of Tears
ancient Athenian boy-fucking
unquestioning obedience.
Grammar-Nazis who are also regular Nazis.
a sex dungeon
exploding pigeons
dem titties
Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa
the tiniest shred of evidence that God is real
the euphoric rush of strangling a drifter
Africa
whatever a McRib is made of
all the single ladies
fucking a corpse back to life
the secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction
ten incredible facts about the anus
an interracial handshake
ambiguous sarcasm.
ass to mouth
manhole
almost giving money to a homeless person.
no clothes on, penis in vagina
actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers.
a shiny rock that proves I love you
crazy opium eyes.
lots and lots of abortions.
sharks with legs.
how awesome I am.
smoking crack
a new dance move that’s actually just sex.
a hopeless amount of spiders.
drinking responsibly.
finding a nice elevator to poop in.
total control of the media.
slapping a biscuit out of an orphan’s mouth.
penis breath.
seeing grandma naked.
the pirate’s life.
your weird brother.
copping a feel
racially-biased SAT questions
historically black colleges
Miley Cyrus at 55.
GoGurt®
lighting cow shit on fire.
giving 110%
this week's mass shooting
a bleached asshole with glitter.
a brain tumor.
a sick burnout.
a stingray barb through the chest.
the wrath of Vladimir Putin.
alcohol poisoning.
contagious ass cancer.
pedophiles
half-assed foreplay.
The Three-Fifths Compromise
Jehovah’s witnesses.
nothing but sand.
jobs.
the liberal media
Americanization
The American Dream
a Fleshlight.
Hot Pockets®
court-ordered rehab.
crumbs all over the god damn carpet.
my black ass.
our first chimpanzee President.
three dicks at the same time.
a didgeridildo.
sexual peeing.
the morbidly obese
The Patriarchy
Auschwitz
Queen Elizabeth’s immaculate anus.
making up for centuries of oppression with one day of apologizing.
getting so angry that you pop a stiffy
half a kilo of pure China White heroin
a Smooth Jazz saxophone solo.
Lunchables™
a tidal wave of diarrhea.
foliage
sex with Captain Picard
Michael Dorn in full Worf makeup
defenseless children
choking a hooker with a candy necklace
sportsball
your kids running around screaming in the department store
shitty parenting
a heart-shaped box
Buzz Killington
Fuck Mountain
The Mythical Clitoris
saying 'I ya you' instead of 'I love you'
a quarter superglued to the ground
capture the flag
the ultimate circle jerk
shitting on your loved one's chest while yelling 'YAHTZEE!'
faking an orgasm
a decent fucking internet connection.
Ice Ice Baby
a big floppy donkey dick
The Magic Estrogen Fairy
blood, sweat, and testosterone
false flag operations
bacon wrapped bacon
a bacon milkshake
sausage fingers
debt-based slavery
unquenchable thirst
a Russian mail-order bride
soggy man thong
smeared guyliner on a weeping emo kid
profound respect and appreciation for indigenous culture.
waking up half-naked in a tub of ice with a kidney missing
Paul Metzler you betzler
9/11
AIDS
HIV
a placenta with hot sauce.
a rotten banana
government created killer-nanobot infection
an angry midget on steroids
Trump
a lesbian stripper ninja
dirty laundry
dick shit
tumors full of hair and teeth
Adderall™
our first chimpanzee president
a hydraulically-powered exoskeleton
a crying stripper with smudged mascara
ejaculating angry bees
a dick in a box
yo mama
snooty yuppies smelling their own farts
that pathetic disabled child you feel sorry for
my left nut
frothy loins
double D's covered in coke.
a tub full of Vaseline®
five midgets spanking a man covered in thousand island dressing.
Back Door Sluts 9
self worth
drunk girls with low self-esteem
Girls Gone Wild
men with copious amounts of unearned self confidence
toeing the line
double penetration
going from six to midnight
pitching a tent
dried out cum stains on the wall
catcalling girls with 'SHWING'
terrible pick-up lines
your one to ten attractiveness ranking
The Juice
Pickle Rick
conjugal visits
The Danger Zone
a sad birthday cake with a mispelled name
O.J. Simpson's innocence
a frozen banana
unprotected sex
whiskey dick
punching a Nazi
new phone who dis
cash me outside how bow dah
scammin' on squirrel with a nut
$300 shoes
a bitchin' Camaro
adhesive medical strips
Matthew McConaughey as himself
Voldemort
dementors
Bruce Willis doing an Irish Jig
The Chronic
seeing the popo in the rearview
The Office
mother forking bull shirt
Fast and Furious 27
bears, beats, Battlestar Galactica
Gaius Baltar's sex cult
Stargate SG-1
The Spice Girls
driving while black
Intervention
Bob Ross and a lovely landscape
my happy place
a shorn scrotum
the grundle
powdered doughnut pancake surprise
a crucifix to symbolize love and forgiveness
Muad'dib's Jihad
a cat licking it's own balls while simultaneously staring at you
Happy Fun Balls
Metallica bitching about copyright infringement
white people
white privilege
crackers
arming the homeless
eating the rich
The LBGTQ Humanist Alliance
hookers and blow
that food in your teeth that no one has mentioned
that kid who touches every cookie before picking one
that kid who ran into your leg and fell down crying
that guy who's really into Monster Energy drinks.
that guy who's always working on his car
that guy who works out six hours a day
that guy who always talks about work at parties.
an unnecessary boob job
botched plastic surgery
that drunk girl with toilet paper stuck to her foot
micro'gressions in the workplace
incognizant sexism
playful anti-semitism
marginalized minorities
mom's spaghetti
Tide Pod Pizza
reparations
laughing so hard you pee a little
getting road head
Disney Princesses on smack
no homo
thinking you're good at sex
temporarily embarrassed millionaires
BAZINGA
being an idiot
Bronies
douchebagging
boring ass Stonehenge
a God complex
delusions of persecution and grandeur
schizophrenia
obsessive compulsive disorder
electroshock treatment
Heisenberg Blue
a 40-year-old virgin
Handy Jay
Captain Murphy on Stimutacs
the hive mind poised to assimilate all of humanity
a filthy human
terran up the night
squares
a Hummer with a nice rim job
the birds and bees
tiggle bitties
metal
micro-penis denial
The Baddest Bitch of the Bad Girl's Club
unsolicited dick pics
detachable penis
teaching a slow learner with braces to give head
pretentious hipsters with handlebar mustaches
ironic racists getting ironically lynched
the soothing voice of Morgan Freeman
a happy dog with three legs
unappreciated women of color
a baby with a forehead the size of Jay Leno's chin
a dead dream
children with sticky hands
close-ups of cute animals with a wide angle lens
llamas with hats
Chicken McNuggets®
getting smacked in the shin by a Skip-It™
Doritos Locos Tacos Doritos
patriotic brainwashing
whining like a little bitch
my dead son's baseball glove
the tits
Bill Cosby's wholesome image
hanging brain
an aggressive fart
an overzealous vlogger
someone else's tattoo of your girlfriend's name
Shitty Jimmy
a haircut that looks like a dying palm tree.
trash mouth
the gift that keeps on giving
a sentient cheeto
Agent Orange
James Bond in drag
Basic Bitch Syndrome
the kid's table
Oral-B
that's what she said
assuming the position
a master debater
Mike Hunt
pocket rockets
Big Slick
cowboys eating pudding
Lucky Pierre
man meat
napalm
Biggie Smalls
a convincing pyramid scheme
The Snatch Monster
awesome sauce
white people who say 'cool beans'
way too much mayonnaise
Izzy Cumming
old rich white men playing golf
tacos
my boomstick
five-finger discounts
a robot that draws dicks on people when they pass out.
ass
a slow and steady stream.
holding my beer
no one ever
an infinite fucking loop
black hole
punting a yappy dog
bullshit
the shocker
sweet revenge
a magic bullet
a senile Walmart greeter
a turd sandwich
a giant douche
the double-sided dildo from Requiem for a Dream
drinking the sweet milk of children's tears
100 dead babies
fucking garbage
two in the pink, one in the stink