Tell you a story of courage | Body, mind, and soul give us not a medicine, but a way
Author maz’s story of courage, the process of pursuing the inner answer, to feel all the topics that life brings us through, the process itself is meaning.
In the past two years, life has accidentally touched the switch of "exploring the inner self."
The cause was a broken love, which made me see my inner self, which turned out to be a fragile and eager child. Because of the shortcomings from the original family, I have a lot of fear and anxiety in my heart. I try to get satisfaction from the other half, hoping that he can be my parent who loves me and that he can take me away from home. But whenever he disagrees with me, or does not want to meet my requirements, the feelings of childhood regrets will emerge. I feel that I am not loved enough. The restless child in my heart instantly takes over my soul and makes me cry and quarrel. The uproar severely destroyed our intimacy.
After breaking up, I realized for the first time how terrible it was. If I have been affected by or even manipulated by my inner deficiencies, I may repeat the same behavior pattern for the rest of my life. Once I touch my inner wounds in various relationships, it will be like a cat stepped on its tail, unable to be angry with myself. , Crazy, crazy. I found that my life was suffocating. It turned out that many times I was tightly controlled by fear, not because of my sincere free choice and action.
I decided to make myself "clear", see my heart clearly and make the right choice, so I embarked on the healing journey of body and mind. I want to know the meaning of life and how I should live. I also hope that I can become a healer of body and mind in the future and find the right and best way to help the same lost soul.
But where is the most correct and complete answer?
Starting from psychology, I have read several books on family therapy, family arrangement, attachment theory, and intimacy. I have also participated in many workshops to slowly connect my growth experience with my current self, to see how the deficiencies in my heart are generated. How did it trigger my feelings of loss, anger, sadness, etc.? Later, I discovered that maybe some fear comes not only from the family, but also from the soul habits accumulated in the past and present. I began to notice the spiritual system like the human picture. I still remember the first time I heard that "The continuous reincarnation of the soul is to complete the unfinished subject." It’s very shocking when I improve myself, because it represents the existing issues in my life. Maybe it was left behind when I escaped from the face in my previous life. If I still choose to escape in this life, then I will encounter it again in my next life. Until I am willing to face and complete him. It's like an exam. We keep retaking the exam until we can start a new thinking to find a solution, and then we can graduate and pass the exam.
Just when I was excited to look at life from a new perspective of the soul, thinking that spiritual enlightenment was the only goal in this life, my body had a problem. Frequent colds and shoulder and neck pain caused me to begin to seek the "physical" aspect of body, mind, and soul. Aromatherapy, Tibetan chanting bowls, Introduction to Traditional Chinese Medicine, Ayurveda, Yoga, etc., saw that the body, emotions, and soul all interacted with each other and formed who we are today. It turns out that when we are born on earth, become a human being, and have a body, we can not only try to detach our soul, but also need to get along with our body and take good care of ourselves in our daily life.
I keep learning different systems and have a real desire for truth. Just like the ancient alchemist, I want to travel across the earth and seek the truth of the universe. I always think that there must be an ultimate answer that can contain everything, but no system can satisfy me. The more I learn, the more I learn, I find that every system has its limits and blind spots. Where is the ultimate answer?
During this period, I also invested a lot of money, effort, and time. I was also questioned by my family and friends. What am I looking for? Don't think about it so much, can you just go to work and live well as before? I'm like a headless fly ramming around and confused. Whenever someone asks me what I am studying recently and where I am going to go, I can't answer it. I don't think I have encountered the most beautiful answer, the most correct and all-knowing one. I was afraid that I would never find the answer to that path. I was entangled in such unknowns and fears every night, and I suffered from insomnia for a long time.
Every answer is an answer, but our love makes life so different
After struggling for two years, I finally saw an article on the Internet last month by fate. A teacher likened the connection of all body and mind systems: If a person is a computer, Western medicine will focus on replacing hardware equipment. , Chinese medicine is the maintenance of software systems, Feng Shui is the air-conditioning and pipeline configuration of the computer room, and the physical and mental healing is the network engineering, which reflects that you are affected by a higher and broader external environment and energy, and sometimes you will be hacked. Invasion, family therapy is to present the network type in the same area as you.
After reading this metaphor, I feel that my confusion has finally been relieved, and I finally understand why I have always wanted to learn everything and why I have been led by life to come into contact with different systems, because what I want to know is This "whole". It turns out that each knowledge plays a different role, helping life in different positions. There is no need to be persistent in pursuing the "most correct" answer, because "all" is the answer, and every answer is important! Life is all as one, and we are a part of the whole. We stretch life in our own roles and complete the universe in our own way!
So the point is not to pursue the most correct and ultimate answer, because it doesn’t exist at all, but as long as you pursue "the thing that you like the most and feel the most" and live out that thing, it is the meaning of life, and it is also the meaning of life. The happiest way to live. The moment I figured it out, I felt a warm current rushing from my body. While reading the books on the shelf full of soul and soul, I thought excitedly: "It turns out that you are all right. No one is good enough."
Now think about this process, just like "The Little Prince", I have hesitated about the roses I have. I want to find answers by going away, and when I see different people’s life philosophies through various planets, I find that everyone is so different and even more so. Recognize what you want and what you don’t want, and finally found out that maybe everything in the world is the same. There is no right or best choice, but we can freely bet on time and love to make the one we choose. different.
The way to bravely pursue the answer is meaningful in itself
That night, I felt that the knot in my heart that had been stuck for a long time was loosened, and I fell asleep peacefully and easily. In retrospect, I am deeply grateful to myself who bravely pursued the answer. If I gave up on the road because I was afraid that I could not find the answer, and because of other people’s questioning eyes, I might suppress the big question in my heart forever, and then lie to myself. , Will not recognize these interesting physical and mental systems, and miss many beautiful experiences.
After walking a long way and passing many physical and mental systems, I found that what they can bring to people is not "a medicine" but "a way." Maybe a certain system can provide new perspectives and treatments at the moment. But when we return to our daily life, if we can’t really practice and make changes based on the guidance provided by these spiritual tools, then these spiritual tools will only become "safe havens." Whenever we feel hurt, we hide in Go, life will not really change, to the direction we want. Therefore, after the body and mind system guides us in a direction, we must bravely embark on that long road and practice, live and live well every day in the future.
If you, like me, are working hard on this healing road of body and mind, I hope you can live your favorite happy appearance day by day! 🥺
CS.Wang