You can’t extinguish fire with fire, only water can do that. You can’t beat hate with hate, only love can do that. You can’t drive out darkness with darkness, only light can do that.
Is this true? How are we to treat “bad” people? How are we to deal with “bad” behaviour?
First of all I think we need to make a difference between bad people and bad behaviour. I try to, and want to, believe that EVERYONE in its very essence are pure light and love. That no one is born evil. That the circumstances in life makes people evil and bad. That the pain that people and life throws on them makes them bad and evil.
Why are people behaving badly? The simple answer is probably that they’re unhappy and miserable. If you’re unhappy and miserable then happy people annoy you. Have you ever been really hangover and then a very happy and loud person tries to talk to you? How does it feel? You kind of just want that person to go away or shut up, no? You’re on totally different levels and vibrating on totally different frequencies. You’re just not a good match right in that moment. Somewhere in the dark corners of your being maybe you want them to be as unhappy and miserable as you are. You might not admit this to yourself but I think that might be the case for many humans. Happy people annoy unhappy people. Strong people annoy weak people. Colourful people annoy grey people. The list goes on and on.
The psychology of bullying is very interesting. There can be many reasons why someone is bullied. Maybe the victim is weak and therefor is an easy target. Maybe the victim is different and that makes them a target. They can even be strong and that makes the victim a threat, and that’s why they are bullied. Jealousy can also be an important key here. What about the bully? Why does people bully? The simple answer might be because they are in pain. Happy, healthy and strong people don’t bully others, right? It’s the tortured that becomes a torturer.
I think the only way to deal with bad people and bad behaviour is to try to understand them, listen to their story and give them the love they crave so desperately but might not even deserve. That does not mean that one should accept continual bad behaviours. Maybe you should tell them firmly that you don’t accept this behaviour but that you still love them. Try also to tell them what you would like them to do instead in similar situations in the future. Also be sure to reinforce good behaviour. In some ways it’s like dealing with a child.
I think highly evolved people can transcend the bad behaviour and see that everyone is pure love and light in its very essence. They might be on a dark path but they can always change their direction in life towards light. It’s never too late, where there is life there is hope. But they need to want to change, change always need so come from inside. You can never force someone to change but you can help them and show them the way.
Blessings! <3