Welcome Steemians, Friends, Universalians, and Hicks

The Money Launders of Steemit

A swift-like examination.

Warning: Dry Wry Humor - while it lasts

Vote Trump

Courtesy free image lib.gov

As we all know, there are numerous drug cartels, gangs that use Steemit and Steem for laundering money to hide all they make from taxes and the eyes of government. Using the guidance of God to point them out so that they may be arrested, the Seer of Seers focused her mind, Siri she was called, at the offenders.

The first person she delved was Carlita de Montoya de Menos El Cabron, a transexual to a woman.

She had purchased 666,666 Steem and began to post, curate and upvote to "wash" the money.

The first thing that happened was she was down voted for whatever reason for the rewards of posts to zero. She did not know why her photos were beautiful and professional and she took them from Google Images.

Next Carlita had several members of her criminal gang sign up for Steemit each with 1,200,000 Steem.

The plan was to vote each other's posts up but none were artistic so they used photos from various news sites and Internet sites for posts and they were noted as plagiarists by @scrutinize.

Meanwhile, they noticed that the amount they received on their posts was only 25% of the rewards after they were down voted.

So they all bought cameras and started to take pictures of everything and post those but already had been labeled as plagiarists.

First, Carlita wrote an apology. She did not know that the photos had to be one's own or cited. She would post her own pictures from now on.

Comments about her and her gangs photos were for example, "Simulating Earthquakes?",
"Take my advice and wait for the hurricane wind to calm before taking a photo and posting it."

Carlita paid hackers to find out where the down voters lived and sent assassination teams to their dwellings and killed them.

Meanwhile, the price of Steem began to drop because they had bought so much steem that none was available for trade or sale. The combination of the burn steem project and the lack of Steem to buy and sell made the value drop further. She sent squash squads against the burn Steem bunch.

Steemians began to vote for their posts of photos. With all the steem burners dead and the down voters murdered gang style by Columbian necktie, Carlita and her gang began to reap big rewards because they voted for each other.

Sadly for them, they did not launder enough to pay their drug suppliers. Unfortunately Binance was banned to trade for a year because of money laundering. That's where Carlita bought the Steem and where she expected to sell Steem back to fiat.

Their suppliers executed Carlita and her gang and still search for Carlos "El Cabron" de Montoya to this day.

"Hey Boss," the henchman said as he entered the office.

"Where in the hell is Montoya!" Mr. Big Fu Chang Wongfun yelled.

"He's dead. The bodies are identified and that woman was him."

"What?"

"El Cabron had a sex change to a woman. The woman we killed, which we thought was his sister, the finger prints match. The woman was El Carbon."

"Shit. Drugs. Look what it does to people - where's the money?"

"Our police say it's all been invested in Steem on Steemit and it's all staked in 9 different accounts. Except for the rewards that are Steem."

"Staked, what the hell is that? What is Steemit? Steem?"

It takes 3 months to get it out by unstaking but while it's staked it generates 2.68 % APR. It's like Facebook but when you make posts you get Steem. So we can make money off it by posting. It's legal, legit?", pausing, "How do we do that?"

"Our police are looking into that it's something called keys which are huge account numbers. Then we can post or take it out. But we need those numbers."

"Find who's in charge, we going in the social media is ours now."

"We have the public keys boss," the Henchman said, "But now we need the private keys."

"The private keys, what in the hell are those?"

And, the suppliers never took Steemit over because there was no way for them to recover the private keys of the accounts of Menos El Cabron and his gang. The suppliers were executed by the next higher level of the drug world.

All persons in this story are fictional and so are the places. Right Thumb Productions does not support or encourage the opinions of the writer of this story or the portrayals of any artists.

Copyright ©️ MMXXIV Right Thumb Productions, all rights reserved. Right Thumb Productions is a fictional entity and not reserved or trademarked.

Copyright ©️ MMXXIV Jeff Kubitz, @jeff-kubitz, all rights reserved.

The End.