First piece of advice for anybody who is struggling with their mental health. Even if it is something as common as depression. GET HELP! I really can not stress that enough. To many people let their emotions build up on them and don't seek help. The stigma of mental illness needs to be eradicated.
About me: I'm diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and High Functioning Autism(Asperger's).
I spent most of my life struggling with my mental health. I self harmed as 13 year old and was out of school completely by the time I was 15. I couldn't cope with the pressure. In some ways I was very weak socially, failed to make friends and maintain those relationships. I also got very, very obsessed with things. Normally, if I was interested in something, I would learn quite literally everything there is to know about the subject, down to the last detail. I would research and research until I had found out everything and answered all the questions I had to help me understand things. On certain subjects I was a mini google. I could retain information about subjects I was passionate about with incredible ease. This is part of my autism. I found it very difficult looking people in the eye especially when I was depressed. At night I would hear voices, voices of the children bullying me at school.
As said above, I didn't last long in school and was eventually pulled out by my parents. They always knew something was wrong with me, even as a child. I was expressing autistic symptoms from a very early age. As a teenager I was hopelessly depressed. I recall cutting my arms and writing down on a piece of paper the same phrase over and over again. I want to die, I want to die, I want to die. Endlessly. I had no hope. My only salvation, was my computer. I loved computers. I met a girl much older than me over the internet when I was 16. I found it difficult communicating at first with her, but she was patient with me. I had problems sexually because of my extreme anxiety but she still didn't leave. We had a baby not long after this and the symptoms of Bipolar began to manifest themselves. I already had experienced depression to a very extreme level, suicide attempts included, but this was different. This was Mania. The opposite of depression. Extreme happiness and excitement to the point of grandiose delusions. After my first child was born, happiness overwhelmed me. i have never been a good sleeper but this was another level. I wasn't sleeping at all. Awake 3-4 days at a time minimum, unable to switch off. My mind was racing with thoughts about my obsessions and interests, even things I hadn't been interested in, I was thinking about. I would listen to music on my own and dance for hours. I felt amazing. i wanted to build a nuclear fusion reactor and create an unlimited supply of energy for the entire world. I wanted world peace and thought I had the idea's the bring that about. I wanted everything and anything that I had absolutely no chance of ever bringing about, especially with my current mental health. Then I began smoking cannabis. Made things 100 times worse for me if I'm honest now. In hindsight I say this, i didn't think so at the time. I experienced periods free of anxeity, but after the cannabis wore off, it hit me 100 times harder, so I had more and more. I started drinking huge amounts of alcolhol. i was again isolating myself and becoming depressed. I started hearing voices again. It was only at this time. When I was about 22, that I decided to ask for help. i was put on medication, but sometimes forgot to take it. I was still depressed and decided after months of thinking about suicide, pretty much on a regular basis, to kill myself. I took an overdose of medication including sleeping pills. I was knocked into a coma. Thankfully my partner, who was still with me after all of this, saved my life.
Here began the next stage: hospital. Not just a general hospital, but a mental health hospital after that. Very scary experience. That was the first time I've been in. i vowed after I came out to never go back there, but have since been back twice after extreme suicidal tendencies. It was necessary though, and I'm on the road to recovery now.
Again, DO NOT let your emotions build up on you. Seek help. if you are experiencing something as common as depression, try your best to remain active. Exercise helps in a very big way. Get a pet, animal therapy helps also. Remember 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem at some point in their lives, do not think you are alone, because I promise you, YOU ARE NOT.
Feel free to ask any questions in the comments.